Can't Have It All
by pmonkey815
Summary: All Remy Hadley had wanted was a listening ear. What she ended up with was much, much more...
1. Chapter 1

Allison Cameron quickly finished the Australian Shiraz left in her glass as the knocking on her door grew more insistent. Swallowing and nearly tripping over the coffee table on her way, she stumbled into the doorway and pulled open the heavy slab of oak.

"Hello."

Cameron was stunned.

"…Can I help you, Dr. Hadley?"

"Uh, yeah. I was actually wondering if you had a chance to talk-" Thirteen began, quickly realizing that the other doctor was rather unsettled by her sudden appearance at ten o clock at night "-about Eric."

Cameron understood. She'd spent enough tiresome days stuck arguing in a room with Foreman, the man who'd purposely tried to afflict her with a deadly, unknown disease. She jerked her head toward the living room, turning and heading back to the kitchen.

The living room was pretty much what Thirteen had expected, plush furniture, bookshelves lining the walls, a large flat screen TV pushed up against the wall, gathering dust.

"Can I get you something to drink? I just finished the wine, but I've got some beer in the fridge, if you'd like?" Cameron offered, ducking her head into the refridgerator.

Thirteen cocked an eyebrow at her, smirking that indelible smirk of hers, "_You _drink beer?"

Cameron lifted her head from its stooped position and shifted petulantly, "Chase drinks it, actually."

"Let me guess: Foster's, right?"

The blonde had to laugh at that, "No actually. When I bought him a case of Foster's on one of our first dates he looked like he was going to slap me." She handed Thirteen the beer bottle and motioned over to her overstuffed black leather couch.

"What? I thought it was 'Australia's Beer'!" she glanced down at the label, recognizing the familiar harp logo, "though Guinness is certainly not a bad choice."

The two sat down together and an uncomfortable silence fell over them. Thirteen sipped her beer, wondering how in hell she'd worked up the nerves to come here; to do what she was going to do. She couldn't help but notice Cameron fiddling mindlessly with the hem of her shirt. What she wouldn't give to rip that shirt off, touch the undoubtedly flawless skin beneath it.

"So… What did Foreman do now?'

Thirteen nearly choked on her drink. She'd been so consumed with her thoughts, being in Dr. Allison Cameron's apartment was certainly an odd occasion.

"Kutner's dead." Thirteen began, Cameron's eyes snapping to the ground when Remy tried to make eye contact. She sighed, continuing "I was there. I saw him, I- I cradled his bloody fucking head, Cameron." Her gray eyes burned into the side of the other woman's head. This other woman who would not acknowledge her pain. No one had as of yet.

"Remy, I'm sorry you had to go through that." Cameron's voice was hoarse and quiet, it sounded harsh in the tense silence that had fallen over them. She finally found the courage to lift her head, though she was disturbed to find her own hands shaking.

"Eric's not. He was there. He saw the state I was in." Thirteen chuckled sadistically and glanced down at her hands. "He turned me away from his doorstep, said he needed space during times like these. All I really wanted-" A sob broke into Thirteen's solid voice and she covered her features with her quivering fingers. "All I really wanted was for someone to hold me. To tell me it was going to be okay. But that doesn't satisfy his control habit." She dragged her hands from her face and wrapped them around her body like she was in a straight jacket.

Cameron's face twisted. "Control habit?"

"We're doctors, Cameron. We all get into that business because we need to be able to control everything, to understand everything that has to do with ourselves."

"I don't think that-" Cameron was cut off by a sharp bark of a laugh.

"Don't deny it, Cameron. You're only different because you get off on having your control taken from you." Thirteen spat the words at her, as if this very fact blasphemed her own existence.

Cameron shot up. "Dr. Hadley, you are in my house, and you have _no _right to speak to me that way."

Thirteen rose slowly, purposefully contrasting the older woman's rash actions, and bit her lip. "You don't believe me?" She leaned slightly forward, Cameron retreating from her advance, "Let me prove it to you."

"Dr. Hadley, I don't think this is appropriate."

Thirteen ignored her protests, turning and strolling casually toward the kitchen, the thumping of her feet on the hardwood floors entirely too casual for Cameron's liking. Finally, Remy turned. "Come here, Cameron."

Cameron's expression lightened quickly. "That's your tour de force? You think just because you tell me to do something I'm going to-"

"Allison." Thirteen snapped with surprising authority. "Come here."

Her eyes burned into Cameron's again; The blonde knew in that moment she was defeated. There was something about her cool confidence; The utter dominance in her gaze. Minutes ticked by, but slowly Cameron began walking shakily toward the other doctor with eyes fixed to the floor. Thirteen's smirk was back, this was easier than she'd expected. When Cameron was directly in front of her, Thirteen stepped so that they were less than an inch away from each other, hovering her mouth next to Cameron's ear.

"Feeling all tingly yet?" She whispered, "You can't run from me. This right here, this is why you wanted House so bad." Cameron began to protest, but was silenced by Thirteen's hand clamping over her mouth. "Unh-uh. My turn." She let her hand fall from Cameron's lips, slowly teasing them as it slipped downward. "See, with House you're challenged but at the same time you never have to be in control, you never have to lead. He does it for you. He controls you. Every little thing you did in that hospital was exactly what he told you to do, wasn't it?"

Cameron squeaked out an unconvincing "no," prompting a chuckle from Thirteen who placed her hands on the other woman's hips.

"Admit it. That's what you fantasized about. That one day you'd be in his office, just the two of you, late at night." Thirteen's fingers came up to caress the skin just above Cameron's waistband, "And he'd just do it. Tell you to walk over to him. Tell you to get on your knees. I bet you'd love it if he called you a whore while he did it."

The slight was too much for Cameron; she suddenly and violently shoved Thirteen away.

"Get out." She turned to face the wall, the mixture of arousal and anger overwhelming her senses. She wanted nothing more than to have Thirteen invade her space again, to have her consume her completely. But she would not lose her dignity for it.

The body heat returned however, this time behind her, pressed against her back.

"Or maybe he'd come up behind you in the lab, touch you everywhere." She slid her hands up Cameron's sides, feeling her shiver under her fingertips. " Kiss your neck." Thirteen began to illustrate her point, placing little kisses on her prey's neck and slowly unbuttoning her blouse. "And you want to turn around so badly, to have him inside you, but if you do, he might stop. You might never get this chance again."

Cameron's breathing hitched as Thirteen's fingers brushed against an erect nipple. "Remy." She whimpered, her hand groping for the other doctor's hip, grasping it tightly when she found it.

"And he's so damn slow about it." She slid the blouse off of her and threw it to the side, quickly following suit with her bra. "Not his normal self. No salacious comments, just his breath in your ear, his rough hands on your breasts." She tweaked Cameron's exposed nipple, the blonde's head snapping back toward Thirteen's shoulder.

"Oh please, Remy. Please." She was barely loud enough to be heard over her own breathing, and Thirteen ignored her pleas for quick release.

"Until finally, _finally_, he lets his hands wander and he unbuttons your jeans and slides your zipper down oh… so… slow…" Thirteen dragged the words out, the zipper finally undone at the last syllable. She slid Cameron's jeans down with her panties, taking a second to admire her ass before leaning forward and returning her lips to Cameron's ear. "Turn around, Allison."

She could feel the pang of terror rip through her. She was completely exposed, and Thirteen wasn't showing any weakness or any mercy. But she complied, slow and unsure. Her eyes began on the floor, but she looked up when she felt those eyes burning into her body again. She watched as Thirteen appraised her like an antique, examining every freckle and curve with cool indifference.

Cameron struggled for the courage to speak, finally managing "Thirteen?"

She slowly brought her eyes up to meet Cameron's, and held her gaze. "Come closer."

Cameron took a tentative step closer, prompting a frustrated sigh from Thirteen who pointed to the ground right in front of her.

"Right here."

Cameron complied, still visibly unsure of her decision.

Thirteen grabbed her roughly and jerked her up against her body, bending her knee to press against Cameron's clit. The blonde gasped and grabbed hold of Thirteen's shoulder to keep herself upright as her legs threatened to give out on her.

"Allison Cameron, I am going to fuck you senseless."

Cameron whimpered as Thirteen shoved her into the wall, immediately up against her body again. She bit at Cameron's neck, marking her territory as she used an arm to pin her wrists up against the wall. Her other hand tweaked Cameron's nipples, her entire body arching, aching for the younger doctor's expert touch. Thirteen slid her hand lower, playing with Cameron's outer lips, teasing her with the prospect of a good fuck. Cameron twisted and jerked, trying in vain to get some contact on her clit, her body glistening with a sheen of sweat now. Finally Thirteen slid a finger into her folds, already dripping with juices, and slowly circled her clit, being careful not to stimulate it. The blonde let out a whimper and threw her head back, Thirteen expertly deflecting her attempts for release.

"Stop struggling and I might fuck you." Remy bribed into Cameron's ear.

She stopped bucking her hips, going insane trying to fight her body's impulses. Muscles all over her body began twitching in strain: her thigh, her forearm.

"God, you fucking bitch, Remy. Fuck you. I need it so badly, you know I do."

Thirteen grinned.

"You need what?"

"Stop with the games! Please!"

Remy emphasized her point by allowing her finger to slip over Cameron's clit. The other woman's entire body jerked and a moan erupted from her lips. Thirteen built her pleasure up some more, sliding her finger roughly over the nub before removing it again, teasing with barely there touches and fingertip dips into Cameron's hole.

"So what was that you needed again?"

"I need you, Remy. I need your fingers, your lips. Please."

"Hmm." Thirteen pretended to consider it, continuing to tease her lover until she snapped again.

"You fucking cunt. I hate y-"

Thirteen shoved two fingers into her, effectively cutting off her complaining with a rough kiss that smothered a gasp and a moan. She worked the noises out of her, rubbing her thumb with her clit while she pumped in and out of her.

"Yes, yes. Oh fuck. I am so close. Oh, baby I- Oh."

Her whimpers became less and less coherent when finally Cameron couldn't take anymore. She bit roughly into Thirteen's shoulder, grunting her pleasure to the t-shirt between her teeth. Pleasure pulsed through her again and again, threatening not to stop, not that she wanted it to. She finally came down, finally became aware of the small kisses Thirteen was placing on her lips and face and was able to respond with kisses of her own. She struggled slightly with her wrists, which the other doctor still had pinned to the wall.

"Remy," she pleaded, catching her eye, "I want to touch you."

Thirteen's ambivalence was obvious as she slowly loosened her grip. Cameron broke free and brought a hand up to caress the other doctor's cheek, her perfect lips, down to her neck, and her soaked shoulder.

"Did I do that?" She whispered, running her fingers along the blood stains on Thirteen's white t-shirt.

Thirteen stayed surprisingly silent, seemingly unable to manage a retort of any kind.

"I'm sorry, Remy."

Thirteen shrugged and cleared her throat. "Didn't hurt. I was… kind of caught up too."

Cameron laughed, grabbing a fistful of material and pulling her lover against her once more, leaning in for a kiss.

"Well, seems like I've got something to attend to then, don't I?"

Thirteen separated them with a shove, but it was different from the others; surprisingly gentle.

"We shouldn't do this again, Cameron. Ever. No matter how attracted I am to you. It's a bad idea. You have a boyfriend for fuck's sake." Thirteen turned to walk out; Cameron reached for her, ending up with nothing but air in her fist as the other woman slammed the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so. As a lot of you noted, there's a lot of Thirteen-as-predator stories out there. That wasn't really my intention. This story sort of… manifested itself while I was watching the older episodes where Cameron was the aggressor (sexually at least) with Chase and wondered why that facet of her personality was rarely brought out. So I tried to play to that Cameron as much as possible. Because I miss her.

Disclaimer: Forgot to do this on the last chapter, but I don't own anything. There is no original thoughts anymore and I don't claim ownership of any currently in circulation.

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Thirteen's fingers trembled as she gripped the steering wheel tighter. The adrenaline still rushing through her veins made her antsy; she felt like she could run a mile in no time flat. Though, why she chose flight instead of fight she'd never know. She pushed back into the headrest, trying to calm her humming nerves. What the hell had she been thinking? A few minutes passed, and a car carrying a blonde surgeon pulled into the parking lot. Thirteen shoved the keys clumsily into the ignition and peeled out, if he spotted her, she'd surely have to talk to him.

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"Why did you leave like that last night?"

Thirteen jumped, startled by the sound of Cameron's voice. She turned away from her patient to acknowledge the other doctor's presence.

"I don't think now is the best time to be discussing this." She turned back to the patient, and commanded "Pull your knees to your chest. Tighter. Good. Thank you, Mr. Reynolds."

"I don't see why." Cameron replied, walking farther into the room. "I mean, I'm just curious as to why you had to rush out."

An alien voice interrupted the conversation, and both women looked down at the man on the bed. "Um, excuse me, but- are you two dating?"

Cameron giggled, "No. I have a boyfriend."

Thirteen shot her a look, then glanced back at her patient. "Me too. His name's Eric."

"Oh."

"I shouldn't have been there anyway." Thirteen said, this time directing the comment to Cameron.

"I don't see anything wrong with you showing up. I mean, yeah it was a little unexpected but-" Cameron paused, finding herself all together too interested in how much deeper the brunette's breathing got as she slowly inserted the needle into Mr. Reynolds' back. Still watching Thirteen's chest rise and fall slowly and pointedly, Cameron finished. "It was… I mean, it was all right. I understand Foreman can be a handful."

"Wait. You mean-unh-Foreman as in-ow-Dr. Foreman?" Mr. Reynolds asked incredulously between pained gasps.

Thirteen sighed, letting the spinal fluid drain into the test tube. "Yes. That Dr. Foreman."

"You could do way better."

Before anyone could respond Cameron's pager went off and she was off to the ER.

Thirteen finished the rum in her glass, sighing as the cool ice hit her lips. It was refreshing in a place like this, which was pulsing with body heat. The bartender walked over, placing another one in front of her and pointing to a girl at the other end of the bar. "Four." She mouthed, laughing as she walked away. Drink number four paid for by a girl that didn't stand a chance. But as long as the bartender had poured it, she might as well drink it, right? This one was a shot, and she tipped it quickly down her throat. Her entire body burned, both from the heat emanating from the dance floor and the alcohol burning it's way through her digestive system. She decided now was as good a time as any to take a break, glancing over the crowd to try and find her friend, who had disappeared some time ago with a girl who looked about as drunk as Thirteen was feeling now. She stumbled out into the brisk air, feeling an almost erotic rush as the sweat on her body cooled instantly. She leaned against the wall, wondering if it was the only thing supporting her at the moment.

"Well, well. Imagine seeing you here." Remy's head snapped up, coming face to face with a familiar face, though she couldn't quite make it out at the moment. She squinted, watching the eight different images slowly circling into one.

"House? What the hell are you doing here?" She was sure she had slurred, but tried to fake her sobriety by standing straight anyway.

"Oh, I was just wandering through-"

"The gay village in New York?" Thirteen cut him off.

"Okay, you caught me. I'm a leather daddy. The cane is just a prop I use for punishing boys when they've been bad." House deadpanned.

Thirteen simply ignored the comment. "Did you follow me? You sick fucking-"

"Actually, I followed Cameron here."

"What?" Thirteen straightened immediately, feeling that familiar fight or flight mechanism rear its head.

"Ah. The plot thickens," House grinned cheekily, "why do _you_ care where Cameron is?"

"I just…" Thirteen sighed, her defensive stance faltering. "I don't."

"Right." House nodded. If his smirk had been any larger, it would have consumed his face. "Cameron and Thirteen sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

"Shut up, House." Her inebriated brain couldn't think of anything better to retort with, "I'm going inside."

"Good. Me too." House began following her in, being stopped at the door by the bouncer. "What? I'm with her." The man simply shook his head. "I'm handicapped."

"Does that ever work?" The bouncer's deep voice seemed to boom even in the expansive night air.

"You'd be surprised."

"Go home, old man."

"We must stop meeting like this." Cameron greeted, grinning widely.

"You're right." Thirteen glanced at her, then back at the screen in front of her, "If by 'meeting' you mean 'you cornering me while I'm with a patient, then you're right.'" The MRI screen flickered through another layer of the patient's brain and Thirteen leaned forward into the microphone. "You're doing great, Mr. Reynolds. Just another couple of minutes."

"I just want to talk to you, but you keep running away from me."

"What were you doing in the Village last night, then?" Thirteen snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Cameron asked, laughing.

"House. He said he followed you to New York last night."

"Right. And you believed him? Even if I did go to New York last night, I don't see what that would have to do with you." There was a pause before Cameron finally added, "Why do you care so much, anyway?

Thirteen sighed, turning back to the screen. "I don't."

"Yes. You do." Cameron leaned forward, grabbing onto the other doctor's forearm. Thirteen pulled away immediately, eliciting a sigh from the blonde. "Look. I know everyone thinks I'm naïve because I actually care about my patients, because I married a dying guy. But I had a life before that, you know. Went to college. I found out there that if you want young, insecure little college boys to give you what you want, you have to tell them exactly what you want." Cameron leaned forward; grazing Thirteen's ear with her lips, "Show them exactly what you want." She let her lips caress the skin on the brunette's neck, feeling the skin contract against her lips as the girl swallowed.

"Cameron." Remy whispered, her voice hoarse with desire. "Y-You have a boyfriend. _I _have a boyfriend. I-I can't." She hit a button and stood—breath far more ragged than usual—walking out to help Mr. Reynolds into a wheelchair.

Cameron sighed and leaned back, running a hand through her hair. This girl was such a tease.


	3. Chapter 3, Part 1

All right. I'm running this in the context of real House storylines now. I don't know if they're going to stay true to what happened on the show or not, but for now they are. That being said, major spoilers for the episode "Saviors" in this one. So I own even less in this post than in previous ones.

Thirteen sighed, watching disgustedly as House set up his breakfast of peanut butter and toast. Mr. Reynolds had been discharged a few days ago, giving the team a whole lot of spare time. The door was pushed open silently, framing a familiar blonde as she entered the room.

"I have a case for you." Cameron stated plainly, looking House dead in the eye.

"Cuddy, you've gone blonde?" House looked Cameron over, continuing, "It makes you look like a slut." House turned back to his breakfast, obviously uninterested.

Cameron threw the file onto the table. "He's seen three different specialists."

"Interesting. Almost as interesting as you trying to step into Kutner's shoes just days after he stepped out of them."

Thirteen's head snapped up, shocked that House would throw their dead teammate's name out so quickly.

Cameron sighed, leaning against the table. "I'm not shoe shopping. I'm repaying a favor to his referring doctor."

"What's the mystery? The nutbag spends all his time wreaking havoc at toxic waste dumps." Thirteen quickly dismissed the case. Anything to get this girl out of a 100 foot vicinity of her.

Cameron shook her head, her eyes tinged with playfulness. She was onto the brunette. "Tox screen's negative. No Neurological, muscular, or cardiovascular abnormalities."

"The guy cares about the environment, that makes him a nutcase?" Foreman butted in, obviously unaware of the game between the two women.

"He's a single guy in his 20s, he cares about getting his hybrid waxed by girls who care about the environment." Taub threw his two cents in, not allowing Thirteen a chance to respond, not that she particularly cared to.

"See? Not a nutcase." Foreman concluded, his default look of self-satisfaction returning to his face.

"He's probably just faking so he can sue the cops and get a six figure settlement." This was a common diagnosis for Taub, Thirteen was beginning to think he wasn't a misanthrope, he was just lazy.

"If he was faking, why would he consent to be seen by the best diagnostician in the country?" Cameron was getting defensive now.

"Now who's trying to get her hybrid waxed?" House ended the squabble, grinning childishly as he did so. He ordered a test, sending Cameron off to administer it and the rest of them to continue twiddling their thumbs.

"Great." Thirteen groaned, leaning back in her chair.

Thirteen was headed back to the office to drown out more fascinating discussions about whatever the hell it was Foreman and Taub talked about and daydream about her new favorite subject when it hit her in the side. She stumbled into a nurse, apologizing without meaning it in the slightest. The nurse scuttled off, and Thirteen turned to face her attacker.

"Shit."

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" Cameron asked, eyes furrowed in concern.

"Oh jesus, you smell horrible." Thirteen recoiled, suppressing her gag reflex the best she could.

"Yeah. Your patient just threw up on me." Cameron replied, looking down helplessly at the vomit soaked gown she was wearing.

"Last time I checked, he was your patient, not mine."

Cameron sighed, pulling the garment off and revealing her outfit. It was the same as this morning, though Thirteen hadn't really looked at it until now. Low cut enough to be tantalizing. Damn it.

"Hey." Cameron said, reaching out and pulling Thirteen's head up by her chin. "Eyes are up here." She walked away, smirking boldly as she went.

The team sat around, theorizing on House's decision to make Cameron run all the tests when she rounded the corner and shoved House's office door open.

"Mommy's home." Taub mused, leading the team into the adjacent room.

The entire team participated in the differential-except Thirteen. Her mind was stuck on the way Cameron's hips looked in those jeans. Absolutely perfect. House said something, and Thirteen moved to go with the rest of the team, figuring she could just follow their lead. Having the blonde around was making her job a lot more difficult.

"Although," House interrupted, "I didn't say 'we.' If I had…" He trailed off, making vague hand gestures.

Cameron simply turned, walking toward the door. Thirteen couldn't help but notice she'd buttoned up her shirt since the last time they'd met.

Thirteen and Foreman exited the patient's room, complete with patient and sobbing wife.

"Not a nutcase, huh?" Thirteen asked, giggling. Her boyfriend being wrong was one of the great joys of her life.

"Okay. You've got me there. One definitely flew over the cuckoo's nest there." Foreman said, chuckling as well.

Thirteen's face fell slightly, the more she gave real thought to the patient's wife, the more unsettled she became. Foreman was overly rational, just like House, just like the patient. Was she destined for the same with him?

"Hey, are you all right?" Foreman asked, lifting her head by the chin to look him in the eyes. She closed them tightly and quickly though, the gesture was now associated with someone she shouldn't be thinking about with Eric.

She opened them again, looking into his concerned brown eyes.

"Yeah. It's just-I've just had a lot on my mind lately." She said quietly, forcing a weak, lopsided smile.

"Well, I tell you what." Foreman began, pulling Thirteen into his arms. "How about I pick up dinner from that Thai place down the street on my way home," He paused to kiss her gently on the forehead, "and we can rent a movie," another kiss on her cheek, "cuddle, and forget the rest of the world." The last kiss landed on her lips; A sweet, chaste peck. "What do you say?"

"Sounds great."

"Good. See you tonight." He turned and walked away, smiling to himself."

Their minds hadn't been on the movie in a solid 30 minutes, Foreman's breath on her chest was much more captivating, and honestly, the movie hadn't been all that interesting anyway. He slid back up her body, using his knee to press against her clit, eliciting a moan from her. He leaned down and kissed her again, undoing his khakis and sliding them off. Thirteen was already entirely naked, her body aching for someone's touch after a few days of sexual tension. He leaned back down to kiss her, kicking his boxers off his feet as he did so.

"I am seriously oversexed." She said between heavy breaths and kisses to his neck and shoulders.

He laughed hoarsely. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"It's only been a week and I want you so bad it hurts."

"I think that's just good sexual chemistry." He had a smug look on his face again, and she wiped it off with a lip crushing kiss.

They were interrupted by two loud, simultaneous beeping noises.

"Son of a bitch." Thirteen snapped, groping the coffee table for her pager and glancing at the screen once it was safely in her grasp. "We have to go."


	4. Chapter 3, Part 2

I tried to make the Foreteen sex from the last chapter up to you all in this one. Let me know how I did. Still don't own anything, damn it.

"Ankle, Tibula, Fibula, all look normal. No inflammation, no signs of osteo." Thirteen sighed, scrolling through the images on the screen in front of her. She was exhausted, the rum she'd drank earlier was now filtering from her system, causing a pounding pain in her head.

The patient whimpered in pain and Taub leaned forward to the microphone to reassure him.

"Hang in there, almost done."

"You and your wife; You talk about stuff?" Thirteen did her best to keep her face clear, vulnerability had never been her strong point.

"Sex." Taub replied, not even bothering to lift his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"No!" Thirteen snapped, her annoyance showing in her voice. "Anything else?"

"Money."

Thirteen finally turned to stare the little Jewish man down.

"I'm gonna go way out on a limb here: Foreman not a chatty Kathy?" Taub spoke with a hint of arrogance.

Remy Hadley was not a sharer. In fact, talking about things like this was hard to do with anybody, much less the shallow former plastic surgeon who spent most of his time on her nerves. She shrugged off the unease creeping over her body, trying to keep her composure.

"Normally it doesn't matter. Last week it did." She could feel her eyes moisten and quickly turned her head back to her work to hide them from her colleague.

"You wanna date men, good chance talking won't be h-" Taub cut off, his eyes growing larger as he glanced back down at the screen. "His femur's fractured."

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Thirteen sighed, her body slamming against the cold locker and sliding down to the checkered tile floor. Every muscle in her body was absolutely exhausted, her time with Foreman had been great, and when they were paged she forced her body to go from 60 to 0 in no time flat. That plus the detox from the alcohol earlier that night made her want to do nothing but sit against the green metal for the rest of her life.

"Rough night?" The familiar voice rang through the empty locker room as Cameron took a seat on the bench in front of her.

She rolled her eyes up to look at Cameron and nodded feebly. "You could say that, I suppose."

Cameron tapped her fingers on her knee and glanced around, her wandering eyes avoiding the younger doctor.

"Why are you here, Cameron?" Thirteen shut her eyes, swallowing though it stung her dry throat.

"You know why I'm here, Remy."

The brunette opened her eyes to find gray-blue ones searching for her own.

"Allison." She couldn't find the words to tell this girl how much she wanted her, how much she craved her. And she certainly couldn't find the strength to grab her and shove her up against the locker the way she wanted. She could simply roll the word around her tongue, claiming it the way she'd claimed the girl.

Cameron dropped slowly to her knees, keeping her eyes fixed on the other woman's. She leaned in closer, she could practically feel Thirteen's body stiffen as she approached. She stopped when their lips were centimeters apart.

"Are you going to make me ask, Remy?" She could feel the other woman's breath on her lips coming harder and faster now, but she either wouldn't or couldn't respond. "Are you going to make me beg for it?" Cameron lifted her hand to Thirteen's face, tracing her slightly parted lips with her fingers. "Because I would do that, for you."

Thirteen searched the quickly darkening eyes before hers for a moment and slowly brought her hand up to grab the blonde's wrist.

"No. That's not what I want. Not what I need." She brought the other woman's fingers to her lips, dipping the tips into her mouth, and teasing them with her tongue. She spread her knees and undid her jeans, slowly dragging the older doctor's fingers down through the air. "_This_ is what I need." She was down to a whisper, her voice too hoarse with anticipation to speak clearly.

Cameron pushed her fingers into Thirteen's panties and pressed gently against her clit, the action punctuated with a loud bang as the brunette slammed her head against the locker, her entire body arching toward the touch. The older woman continued to slowly stroke her.

"I-I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing." Cameron whispered, all her bravado had dissipated at the sound of Thirteen's relieved moans.

"You're doing fine. Just-" Her sentence was interrupted by an almost pained moan as Cameron slid a finger inside of her. "Just don't stop. Please, God, don't stop." She ran her right hand through her hair, grasping it tightly as Cameron slowly worked a single finger in and out of her. "More, Cameron." She managed, her left hand holding her lover's shoulder with an iron grip.

She whimpered as another finger was pushed inside of her; Her hips began thrusting of their own accord, her stomach fascinating Cameron as the muscles worked tirelessly to gain her more friction. Her concentration was broken by a hand on the back of her neck jerking her forward into Thirteen's lips. The brunette kissed her fervently and the pace of her hips began picking up. She grabbed Cameron's hand and put it over her breast, breaking to utter "please" before continuing the kiss. Cameron pushed the shirt up Thirteen's torso, breaking away to take an erect nipple in her mouth.

"Oh Jesus, Cameron." Another bang as Thirteen's locker took another beating. Her hand moved from her hair, snaking up the locker to find something more solid to hold onto. Cameron's tongue circled her areola, swishing quickly over the tip of her nipple and back to the less sensitive skin again.

Cameron flicked her thumb lightly against Thirteen's clit, her hand moving quicker in and out of the brunette. The increased intensity was causing her to slam against the locker with every thrust, drowning out most of the moans coming from her mouth.

"Cameron, I'm about to come. Kiss me." The words were less a command and more a whimpered plea, Thirteen could feel her sanity slipping from her, could feel every nerve in her body slowly kicking into hyper drive, could feel the pleasure stockpile against her skin, pressing against it from the inside as if her entire body was going to explode from the pressure if Cameron wasn't pressed up against her, holding her together.

The blonde slid up her form, smirking wildly. "What do we say when we want something?" Her unease from earlier had disappeared when she saw the reaction she was having on Thirteen's body.

"P-Please, Allison. Please.

Cameron kissed Thirteen just before her orgasm, her moans reverberating through Cameron's mouth. It was so unlike anything Cameron had ever seen. Sure, she'd had orgasms herself. But it was nothing like _watching_ a woman orgasm. Thirteen's body twitched and gleamed with sweat. Her eyes were shut and a blissful expression graced her features. She broke the kiss for air and let out a moan; Cameron was still pumping away, and would until Thirteen forced her to stop. She was so wet herself, watching the brunette moan and wriggle beneath her had sent tinges of pleasure through every nerve until her body was humming with sexual energy. Finally, Thirteen grabbed Cameron's hand, stilling it; now the only noise was her ragged breathing as she attempted to catch her breath. She sat like that for what seemed like forever, her hand on Cameron's wrist, eyes shut tightly and body wanting nothing more than for the fingers that were still inside her to keep moving, for Cameron to bring her to orgasm again, yet she was so incredibly exhausted she wasn't sure she would be able to make it home after coming again.

Thirteen could hear Cameron swallow roughly, "What are you thinking?"

"Half of me is wondering why this just happened; why you're interested in me at all." Thirteen replied, eyes still hidden from the world.

"And the other half?"

Her eyes fluttered open, locking onto Cameron's.

"The other half can't stop wondering what you taste like."

Cameron's breath hitched, and she pulled her hand away and leaned back on her heels.

"Come back to my apartment with me," Cameron began, eyes edged with a fear of rejection.

"Cameron, I'm tired. You've wiped me out." Thirteen said in all honesty. If she had energy for a round two, there's no way in hell she'd turn it down after that.

"We can just sleep. Another body would just be nice."

"What about Chase?"

Cameron's eyes slammed shut, a sigh escaped from her lips. "I don't want to think about him right now."

"Why?" Thirteen straightened up against the locker.

"Well, I suppose you have a right to know." She glanced down at her hands, one still glossy from Thirteen's juices. "I found a ring in one of his socks."

Thirteen cocked an eyebrow. "A friendship ring? A mood ring? A purity ring?"

Cameron scoffed. "A diamond ring. An _engagement_ ring."

"And? I always had you pegged as a future happy Mrs. Robert Chase."

She just shrugged. "What if he's only doing it because of Kutner? Because he's scared of his own mortality, because he has to cling to everything he loves so he won't lose it?"

Thirteen chuckled. "And your first reaction when questioning his motives was, 'I'm going to sleep with my female colleague?'" Cameron looked away, shame evident on her face. Thirteen sighed and leaned forward, grabbing her by the forearm. "What if he's doing it because he loves you and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?"

Cameron looked back up into Thirteen's eyes. "Are you coming back to my place or not?"

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	5. Chapter 3, Part 3

I'm thinking this might be the last chapter, though I'm not entirely sure. I had a lot of fun with this story. Anyway, let me know what you think, and I'll see if there's any progression of this story that strikes me as natural enough. The end of this episode is the Chase/Cameron proposal scene but I didn't feel like transcribing it cause I hate that it occurred. So Cameron accepts Chase's proposal, blah blah blah. If this story gets continued, that scene will have happened. I think that's all right now. Enjoy!

"I never really thought of you as the throw pillow type." Thirteen announced, striding casually into Cameron's bedroom.

The other woman followed her in, shrugging her shoulders as she did so. "Why not? I think they look nice."

Thirteen cocked an eyebrow at her, grinning. "There's only one fun thing you can do with a throw pillow." She stepped toward the bed, quickly sweeping the pillows off with one arm and throwing Cameron onto the space they had occupied with the other. "And that's removing them."

Cameron chuckled, sitting up on her elbows; biting her lip as she sized Thirteen up. "You're gonna help me pick those up, you know." She ordered, a diabolical smirk playing across her features.

"Oh, you think so?" Remy asked, mirroring Cameron's playfulness.

The blonde just nodded, holding her hand out to the other woman. "Come here."

Thirteen's smile widened even more, if that were possible, and grabbed hold of the outstretched hand. Cameron pulled her down to the bed and quickly pinned her on her stomach, twisting her arm behind her back.

"Oh, fuck that hurts!" Thirteen snapped, writhing uselessly beneath her captor.

"You're obviously an only child. Nobody who grew up with brothers would ever fall for that one." Cameron taunted, grinning wildly. "Now. Apologize."

"Fuck yo-aah!" Cameron twisted Thirteen's arm a little more, cutting her off.

"Come on. Apologize."

"Fine, I'm sorry."

Cameron began letting her free hand wander up and down Thirteen's back. "Good." She leaned over the other woman's body to whisper in her ear. "Now promise me you're going to help pick them up."

"I promise." It was more of a breath than a spoken statement, but it served its purpose and Cameron released her arm. Thirteen took quick opportunity of her newfound freedom and twisted onto her back, still between Cameron's legs. The two spent a few minutes simply observing the other, Cameron still absentmindedly running her hand along the body underneath her.

"Can I ask you something?" Cameron implored, her eyes wandering down to her hand as it traced circles across Thirteen's slightly exposed stomach.

"Sure." Remy's curiosity had the better of her, though she was still cautious as to what the question might be.

"Have you ever been in love?" Her eyes returned to the brunette's, though her hand continued dancing across the skin of her stomach.

"Sure. A couple times." The question wasn't too invasive; there had been no great romances or heartbreaks in her lifetime to speak of.

"Who?"

"His name was Rex." Thirteen paused, her face contorting for a second. "I think."

Cameron's eyebrows shot up her forehead quizzically. "You think?"

"Well, it was a while ago." Thirteen replied, chuckling. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, his name was Rex and he used to pick on me and my best friend all the time."

"What happened?"

"I kissed him on the cheek one day and he ran away." Thirteen said, the energy leaving her voice.

Cameron twisted her face, confused. "Wait. How old were you?"

"Six." Thirteen replied matter-of-factly.

Cameron grabbed a pillow that hadn't quite made it off the bed and smacked Thirteen with it. "I was being serious!"

"So was I!" Thirteen yelled back, hands still elevated in defense.

"You didn't have to answer." Cameron dropped the pillow and her eyes to the bed sheet, awkwardly playing with one of Thirteen's belt loops.

"Okay, fine." Thirteen began, grabbing hold of Cameron's hand. "There was this girl at my school. She was _so _badass. I mean, tattoos, piercings, the works. The kind of girl that called herself a dyke and beat up any straight people that dared to use it. She was crazy hot. We ended up dating through my final year of high school."

"So what happened? Sounds ideal." Cameron chuckled.

"She went to a hippie school out in Washington, and I went to New York. Plus, my dad wasn't too happy about it."

Cameron didn't ask verbally this time, but questioned her with a glance.

"He got really religious after my mom died."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Cameron was more sorry for bringing up the topic of her mother than anything else, but there was something in her that wanted to know everything there was to know about this girl.

Thirteen shrugged, looking over at the wall. "It was all a long time ago."

Silence fell over them, neither woman was sure how to recover the energy of just a few minutes ago.

"What do you do in your spare time?" This earned Cameron a sideways glance from Thirteen. "I mean, besides go to clubs, do drugs, and sleep with random girls who have seizures?"

The smile returned to Thirteen's face. "I have affairs with my colleagues."

"Aha. So you are sleeping around!" Cameron grinned, leaning in conspiratorially. "Tell me, is it that cute nurse with the tight ass?"

Thirteen let out a laugh, shaking her head. "No, it's that sexy head of the ER with the perfect breasts."

Cameron blushed slightly, looking away at her discarded pillows.

"Oh come on, you can't be that self-conscious after the things you've said to me?" Thirteen propped herself up on her elbows, trying to get a better look at Cameron's face.

"That's different. Then, we were just fucking. But now-" She sighed, shifting her eyes back to Thirteen's, "I really like you. I find myself wanting to know everything about you, wanting to be with you all the time." The words were quiet, spoken with the intensity of new passion.

Thirteen slid her hand up Cameron's thigh to her stomach, watching her eyes flutter shut at the deliberate caress.

"Remy." She whispered, "I want you so badly."

The multiple implications of the sentence were lost on Thirteen, who took the words as her cue to sit up, coming eye to eye with the blonde. She moved her hands around from her stomach to her back, overlapping them to embrace the other woman. Cameron swallowed—eyes still shut—just having Thirteen so close was intoxicating, and the warm wisps of breath on her lips were certainly not helping. Remy slowly brought her lips to Cameron's cheek, her chin, her lips.

"Can we just sleep tonight?" The brunette asked, watching Cameron's eyelids diligently for the blue she had grown to crave.

The question caught Cameron off guard, and she sighed, opening her eyes and glancing down at the other woman, nodding. "Okay." She stood up, and began pulling her clothes off to change into something more comfortable.

"Are you mad at me?" Thirteen asked, watching Cameron's movements while sitting pedantically on the side of the bed.

Cameron, half changed, turned back to look at her, a surprised expression on her face. "No."

"Then why are you putting clothes on?" Remy asked, pulling her own shirt over her head.

Cameron blinked dumbly at the brunette. "I thought you didn't want to have sex tonight?"

"I don't," Remy was down to her panties now, and she slid them down her legs slowly, teasing the other woman with each new inch of skin, "but it doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to appreciate the way you look naked." She strode over to Cameron and slid her hands up Cameron's sides, under the oversized shirt she'd just put on. "You're body's too beautiful to cover, Allison."

A shiver ran through Cameron's body, and she lifted her arms to allow Thirteen to pull the shirt off of her. Thirteen twisted the shirt in her hands, binding Cameron's wrists together temporarily. She used her other hand to gently caress the blonde's breasts, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of Cameron writhing against her. She placed a gentle kiss on her neck, licking down to her shoulder where she bit down hard, with purpose.

Cameron whimpered, every muscle in her body tightening against the intruding teeth. "What the fuck?"

"Payback." Thirteen replied, grinning as she released the t-shirt and cast it aside. "I still have a mark from you biting me a week ago." She tapped her shoulder and turned, hopping into the bed.

All Cameron could muster in response was a lame, "that hurt."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Why don't you come into bed. I promise no more biting." Thirteen had her predatorial grin on, and she waved Cameron over.

"No more teasing, either?" She begged, flipping the lights off.

Thirteen laughed. "No more teasing."

Cameron walked over and eased into bed, laying her head against Thirteen's chest, noting how much more distracting the position was with a woman. She began exploring the brunette's body with her hands, her mind racing and body buzzing much too insistently for her to get any sleep.

"Remy?" Cameron asked quietly in the silence, lifting herself off of Thirteen's chest and onto her elbow.

"Mmm." Thirteen found herself unable to answer any better, her mind already on the brink of sleep.

"How does this feel?" Cameron began gently caressing Thirteen's nipple, her fingers circling and squeezing.

Thirteen bit back a moan. "You know what it feels like. You have nipples too, you know."

"I know," Cameron began, leaning down to nip gently along Thirteen's collar bone, "but I've known girls that hated it when guys played with their nipples because they weren't sensitive. So what does it feel like for you?"

Thirteen chuckled, trying to control her body's instinct to arch into the touch. "If I answer, will you let me sleep?"

"Yes."

She sighed, shifting her legs slightly to try and relieve the pressure building between her legs. "It feels like wherever your finger goes, every inch of my body is straining for that spot; Like a sea anemone, flowing in the current, everything rushing and flowing to one place."

"Is it the same with a man?"

"No, it's different. With men, they've been trained that all sex culminates in that one act of 'fucking.' So, everything they do is in the broader context of that ultimate act of vaginal sex. With women, it's much more frustrating."

Cameron was onto Thirteen's neck now, licking and sucking on the sensitive skin. "How so?"

"They know what turns you on. They take pleasure in the simple fact that you're wet for them. They know how to tease you. For instance, I never fucked a guy that would start up foreplay then ask me how it feels."

"Touché." Cameron responded, placing a delicate peck onto Thirteen's lips.

"Can I sleep now? I have to be at work soon."

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"Where were you this morning?" He had to start, as soon as she walked through the fucking door.

"What are you talking about, Eric?" She asked, rubbing the bridge of her nose, trying to convey as much annoyance as possible. Not like Eric Foreman could ever just let something go.

"I dropped by your place before work. You weren't there." He replied, seated casually in the differential room, both arms resting on the table.

"I couldn't sleep, so I took my shower early and went out for breakfast." It was a decent enough lie, the best she could come up with on the spot.

"By yourself?" He accused, raising his eyebrows condescendingly.

Thirteen took a seat across from Taub, who stood and went to lean against the back wall, trying to stay out of the argument both physically and verbally.

"No, with the New York Times."

"My, my. Trouble in paradise?" House's gruff voice interrupted the couple's banter. He stared at the two expectantly, and began waving the file in his hands. "No no, continue. Or—oh wait—you don't think we could maybe take a second to pay attention to the guy who broke the strongest bone in his body laying in bed, could we? I mean, I know it's not as important as who bisexual doctor is sleeping with—my money's on the cute nurse with the great ass, by the way—but I figured he might appreciate it."

Thirteen shifted uncomfortably at the repeated phrase. Maybe there really was an office pool going on. She'd have to get a cut of that. House threw the file down on the table and sat across from Foreman, immediately reaching for his vicodin.

"How can you have a broken femur without so much as a bruise?" Taub chimed in, ringing the focus back around to the patient.

"Whatever broke it, had to do it from within." Foreman added reluctantly.

"Osteogenesis imperfecta?" Thirteen glanced up at Foreman, but quickly averted her eyes back to the paper in front of her.

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"No." Chase looked up at her, his jaw set, eyes shining with tears that refused to be shed.

"This…" Cameron paused, searching for the right words, the words that would make Chase understand. "Has nothing to do with House." She knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear but she couldn't bring herself to say anything else.

"Yeah. Well, it has nothing to do with me either." Chase let out an ironic chuckle, "Not anymore."

Cameron did her best to say something, but all she could muster was an imploring look.

"Let me know when I can come pick up my things." And with that, he stood and strode out of the cafeteria, tricking himself into believing he was the victor.

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"Hey." Thirteen strode up behind Cameron at the nurses station, smiling weakly.

"Hi." Cameron attempted at a smile, but quickly gave up. Her voice was hoarse and weak, her eyes red from crying all morning.

"Are you okay?" Remy placed a hand on her shoulder, blinking dumbly when Cameron pulled away.

"Yeah. What's up?" Cameron bit her lip, trying to rein her emotions in in front of the other doctor.

"Um, I was just wondering if we could talk?" Thirteen asked, her voice now lacking the self-assurance it had possessed seconds ago.

"Sure."

The two walked in silence for a while, Thirteen leading Cameron out of the hospital and onto the streets of New Jersey to avoid prying eyes.

"You should marry Chase." It was more blurted than spoken, and Remy looked in a shop window after speaking it, pretending she hadn't.

Cameron chuckled sadistically. "Oh, yeah? Why's that?"

Thirteen turned back to look at the blonde who was halfway between a smirk and a sob. "Because you're good together, and I-" she paused to run her hand along the back of the bench next to her, "I can't give you what you want."

Cameron squinted confusedly at Thirteen, cocking her head to the side slightly. "I don't understand."

"I'm going to die, Cameron. I, um, I don't like talking about it, I don't like thinking about it, but it's going to happen. I mean, yeah. You two could get married and as soon as you step out of the church you could get into a fatal car accident and Chase could die. Or he could live until he's one hundred." She looked up into Cameron's eyes. "But I _know_ that I will die within the next ten years. I will die without a husband or a wife or any kids, without even a dog because I know what it's like to lose my mother. I've seen what people go through when they lose their partner. And you don't deserve that." Thirteen threw her hands uselessly in the air, trying to blink back the tears on the verge of spilling onto her cheeks. "No one deserves that. So fucking marry him already, Cameron, because not only can he give you all that, he wants to give it to you. And you have to hold onto anyone that wants you in this world." Her wandering eyes met Cameron's. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Cameron nodded silently, tears returning to her in watching her lover cry.

"This is a chance at happily ever after for you, Cameron. Take it. Now."


	6. Chapter 4

Okay, I decided to continue. I'm still not entirely sure where I'm going with it, but I'll figure something out. Thanks for the kind words, everyone!

"I can't believe you're making me do this." Thirteen pouted, arms crossed over her chest. "You know I hate shit like this."

"First of all, you know as well as I do that I can't make you do anything. And second, it was a last minute thing. They're engaged. They want to throw a party for their friends and they wanted me to be there. I couldn't turn that down." He sighed and rolled his eyes, seeing her expression still stuck on disappointed and annoyed. "We'll spend some quality time tomorrow night, I promise."

Thirteen glanced back out the window at the familiar building: Cameron's condo. She steeled herself; she had no interest in spending an evening being forced to hang on Foreman's arm and pretend she was happy Cameron was leaving her for some surgeon in a room full of strangers—friends of the happy couple, no less.

"Come on. It won't be so bad." He promised, reaching up to stroke her cheek.

She pulled away and shoved the car door open insolently. "You are going to owe me so much sex for this." She mumbled, exiting the vehicle.

"I am one lucky man." Foreman noted to himself, climbing out of the car and jogging to catch up with his girlfriend.

Cameron answered the door, wine in hand, smile unfazed by her girl on the side's appearance at her home. Even if Thirteen hated her at the moment, she still had to appreciate the woman's ability to act like everything was normal.

"Foreman! Thirteen! You guys made it. Sorry it was so last minute." She doled out hugs to the two of them, lingering to hold Remy a little tighter, if only for a second before pulling away to wave them inside. "I hope you guys like Japanese. Robert makes the best sushi."

"Party in full swing yet?" Foreman asked, glancing around the condo while he entered the living room.

"Nope. You guys are the first here. Chase is still cooking, actually." Cameron flashed a brilliant smile at her blonde fiancée as he poked his head around the corner.

"If either of you are handy in the kitchen, I could use you." His drawl cut through the air. "I'm a little behind schedule and Allie is useless when it comes to cooking." He glanced between the two of his guests.

Thirteen shook her head. "Sorry, my idea of cooking involves a phone and a delivery man."

"I have your back, Chase. Will you two be okay out here alone?" Foreman asked, looking at the two women.

"Oh, I don't think us girls are capable of doing anything without you big strong men around." Cameron responded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

He raised his eyebrows defensively and turned to make his way to the kitchen. "Okay, then."

"Allie?" Thirteen raised her eyebrows at Cameron, grinning widely.

The blonde shrugged, "It's just a nickname." She grabbed the other woman's hand and let her to the couch.

"So. How was the rest of your day at work?" Once the two were seated, Cameron quickly let go of Thirteen's hand, trying to throw up boundaries, the lack of which had proven dangerous.

"It was okay. You know, saved a guy's life, so that was fun." The brunette replied, tapping her knees absentmindedly while glancing around the room. Anywhere but Cameron.

"Yeah, I remember how exciting working for House was. Saving somebody's life in some crazy unique way every week. Though the ER is pretty exciting too, you know."

"Yeah." A silence fell over them, each one trying desperately not to look at the other, trying even harder to think of a topic that would be safe but long winded. "Nice place you have here."

"Thanks. Want a tour?" Cameron asked, standing up quickly. "We can start with the kitchen."

"Um. Sure." Thirteen was well acquainted with the house, but followed the blonde into the kitchen anyway, taking the excuse to watch her hips sway from side to side. It was going to be a long night.

"So, this is the kitchen obviously, where Robert Chase makes the magic happen." She grinned and leaned into him, placing a gentle peck on his lips.

"I thought that was supposed to be the bedroom. And if not, I sincerely hope you washed that counter." Thirteen commented, her face twisted in mild disgust.

Chase laughed. "You have nothing to worry about."

The tour continued, there was the bathroom, the guest bedroom was off to the right, Cameron entered a room, stopping immediately in the doorway, Thirteen running into her back.

"And that's the bedroom, but, I mean, you don't really need to see that." She bumbled, turning around to find the other woman dangerously close to her. "Shit." Thirteen's hands moved instinctively to Cameron's hips, and the blonde felt a shiver run down her spine. "I thought you didn't want this anymore." She whispered, her brain trying to keep her body from pulling closer.

"That's not exactly what I said. I-" Thirteen was cut off by the doorbell ringing through the house.

"I got it!" Cameron yelled over to Chase. "That must be Kate and Dominic."

"Right. Kate and Dominic." Thirteen mimicked, turning the opposite way and heading for the bathroom. She sat down on the toilet and held her head in her hands for a minute. "What the hell am I thinking? I have to be out of my damn mind." She whispered, sighing as she stood, knowing she'd have to go socialize for at least a few more hours. "Well, at least there's alcohol." That was enough of a bright side for Remy Hadley.

She entered the living room to find Cameron on the couch with the newly arrived couple, already speaking excitedly with them about something likely inane.

"Oh!" She stood, grabbing Thirteen by the arm and pulling her into the room. "This is Thirteen."

Kate, a woman in her early thirties—who dressed like she was in her early 20s—raised an eyebrow at her. "Thirteen? Isn't that a little cliché?"

Foreman swept into the room with a tray full of sushi and a grin, "It's a work thing." He said, placing the tray on the coffee table. "It just kind of ended up sticking." He walked over to place a kiss on her lips and wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"And this is Eric, her boyfriend." Cameron said, waving toward the couple vaguely.

"Hey there. I'm Dominic, and this is my wife, Kate." The man responded. He seemed younger and definitely more attractive than his wife with thick black hair, tanned skin and contrastingly white teeth; he looked like he just stepped out of GQ.

"Nice to meet you." Thirteen responded weakly.

The doorbell rang again, and again, as each couple showed up, some bearing salad or wine. Foreman went back into the kitchen to help Chase, leaving Thirteen alone with the women. Kate was an executive, Jenny: a housewife. Todd and his lover Jay had been together ten years and had just adopted a baby from China. Thirteen chose to keep relatively silent, speaking when spoken to and doing her best not to let anything sarcastic slip out.

Finally, Chase appeared in the doorway, wearing an apron and more trays of sushi. "Dinner is served."

The group headed over to the table and sat down, serving themselves in silence for a minute before Kate cut in. "So, are you two thinking about following in these two's footsteps and getting married someday?"

Thirteen shot a glance over at Foreman than back at Kate, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"We're not really sure. Kind of… taking it one day at a time." Foreman replied, swooping in to save his girlfriend yet again from Kate's questioning.

"Thirteen's never really been big on relationships in the past." Cameron explained, popping a piece of food in her mouth and ignoring the glare she received from Foreman.

"I have trouble trusting people." Thirteen half-lied.

"I see."

She swore she could actually feel Kate's judgment being rained down upon her.

"It's okay. Jay was the same way until I domesticated him." Todd laughed and placed a hand on his husband's chest.

Thirteen spent the rest of the dinner with Foreman to her left and Cameron across from her, their feet occasionally touching and their eyes occasionally meeting. There was purpose there. Had it not been for Eric's hand on her knee and the happily engaged couple's excessive PDA, she probably would've ended up with her foot halfway up Cameron's thigh by this point.

"Are you feeling okay?" Foreman whispered, taking advantage of a particularly long-winded story from Kate that had the rest of the guests enthralled.

Thirteen looked over at him and nodded. "Yeah. I just haven't been feeling well today."

Foreman knitted his eyebrows. "Are you feeling shaky or clumsy? Anything I should put down in my trial notes?" It was almost sweet the way he asked so many questions when he was nervous about her health. Almost.

"Eric, can we please not talk about this right now?" Thirteen snapped, trying to keep her voice low to avoid drawing attention to herself.

"I'm just worried about you." He responded, shaking his head in disbelief.

"That's fine. But can you please leave Dr. Foreman at the hospital? Everybody, sick or not, has their off days. Every little tremor doesn't have to mean I'm one inch closer to death, okay?" It was around this point they noticed that the conversation had screeched to a halt, and the entire table was staring at them. "Great." Thirteen rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

"Everything all right?" Chase asked, face full of concern.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Foreman responded in his most reassuring tone. And the conversation droned on.

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"Hey! I wanted to talk to you." Cameron yelled, sliding into the elevator at the last minute with one very annoyed Thirteen.

She rolled her eyes over to the blonde and sighed, they were alone in the elevator for a few floors. No use dodging her. "What about?"

"I just wanted to apologize for Kate. She doesn't mean it in a bad way, she's just blunt."

"It's fine, Cameron."

"No, really. She shouldn't have put you on the spot like that." She pushed on, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"You know what? It's a good thing, Cameron." Thirteen snapped, shoving the hand off her shoulder.

"What?"

"It's a good thing." Thirteen repeated, enunciating more clearly. "Because I realized that there is no place for me in your world."

"My… my world? Remy, I don't understand." Cameron's voice came through quietly and unsure.

"Even if we could be together in some crazy fantasy world, you'd want to have dinner parties with other couples and go to fundraisers, and spend your nights going to PTA meetings and school plays. That's not me, Cameron. I'm sure in my decision now." The doors opened with a ding revealing a crowd of people waiting to embark. Thirteen made quick work of pushing into the crowd, leaving a teary-eyed blonde in her wake.

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"Why can't you understand that some people have to have pride in who they are?" Thirteen snapped, stalking out of the testing room.

"What?" Foreman asked, chuckling. "The kid's deaf, not a boy scout."

"It's more than that. It's hard being different, Eric."

"Right, and the kid that grew up in the projects knows nothing about that." Foreman's anger began to show through, his dark eyes flaring.

"Apparently not!" She yelled back. "You try so hard to be the same that you've lost anything that's made you different from all these white kids that went to a college prep school, got into an ivy league school, and got straight A's all the way through. You like to think that stealing a car makes you different from them, but it doesn't." She shoved the patient's chart into his arms and turned toward the differential room.

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Foreman sighed, glancing over at Thirteen. "Look, I'm sorry okay? You're right. The kid should be proud of who he is."

She kept her eyes fixed on the road. "You are so lucky we're going to a strip club right now."

"Can you just accept my apology instead of making this into some kind of war? It's always something with you lately."

She shifted her eyes over to him, his shoulders were hunched forward, his body limp in defeat and exhaustion. "I accept your apology, and- I'm sorry too."

"So." He looked over at her and smiled. "How cool is this assignment?"

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Thirteen tapped lightly on the door to Chase's room, letting herself in as she did so.

"Hey. Feeling any better?" She asked, chewing gently on her bottom lip.

"Yeah. Thanks. Congratulations on figuring out your case without House." He replied, a soft smile set on his face. Okay, so maybe she could understand what Cameron saw in him.

"News travels fast around here, huh?" She waited for the polite laughter to subside before turning her attention to the girl in the chair next to his bed. "I was actually wondering if I could steal Cameron for a minute? There's a patient I had in the clinic yesterday I'd like to talk to you about."

"Oh." Cameron glanced over at her, face twisted in confusion. "Sure. If that's okay with you, baby?" She squeezed his hand lightly, standing at his nod of approval.

She followed Thirteen out into the hallway, sighing when she motioned for her to follow into an empty conference room.

"Why can't you say whatever you have to say to me here?" The blonde asked, standing indignantly in front of the doorway.

Thirteen didn't have enough patience for this. "Please, Cameron."

Cameron waited a beat before pushing off the doorway and following her into the room.

"What do you want?"

"I slept with a stripper." She paused, mouth hanging open, groping for words. "At the party." Cameron just shook her head, keeping her silence. "Her name was Karamel. With a K."

The blonde let out a little chuckle, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because when we finished, she asked me what your name was."

"What are you talking about?"

"She could tell I was somewhere else. And it wasn't with Foreman," She looked up at the other woman through her eyelashes. "It was with you."

Cameron opened and closed her mouth wordlessly several times, her brain stalled. "I don't understand what you want me to say." She finally managed, dropping her hands to her sides.

"You don't have to say anything." She pushed off of her position leaning against the table and headed toward the door. "Forget I said anything."

Cameron caught her arm, pulling her back into the room. "I don't understand you." She turned so they were standing face to face, her arms on Thirteen's shoulders, holding her still. "When I chase you, you run away, and now that I'm getting married, you want me again?"

"I don't understand me either." Remy whispered, "All I know is that when I'm not around you, you're all I can think about. And being near you is like… the most beautiful thing I've ever felt in my life." She sighed and pulled out of the other woman's grip, turning to lean her shoulder against the wall. "Look, I've never been good with words, or emotions really. But I've never felt like this before." She glanced sideways over at Cameron, quickly snapping her head forward when the other woman attempted to meet it.

They stood in silence for a while, neither of them really knowing what to do.

"Please say something." Thirteen pleaded, knowing nothing but heartbreak could come of the words about to leave Cameron's mouth.

"I-I can't." She responded after a while, sounding surprised at her own words. "I made a promise to Chase. We had our moment, Remy." She stepped toward her lifting a hand to her cheek. "But it's over. I'm getting married soon. And I do love him."

"Who are you trying to convince?"

"Goodbye, Remy." She placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "You're going to make somebody very happy someday but it just can't be me." And with that, she was out of the door and back down the hall.


	7. Chapter 5

Definitely uploaded the wrong chapter. My bad, guys. Not paying close enough attention. Here's the new one. It hasn't really been proofread all that thoroughly, but I felt like I was taking a long time on it, so it's going out as is. Sorry about the continued angst, I've been listening to a medley of Sia, Regina Spektor, Jay Brannan, Kate Nash, Terra Naomi, etc. So it's just my mood lately. Anyway, enjoy!

Cameron jumped as an unknown blonde was shoved into the wall down the hall from where she was sat on the floor. An explanation came quickly as her assailant appeared less than a second later pressing the blonde up against the wall, lips and hands never staying in the same place for more than a second.

"Wow. You break up with Foreman and you're back in bed with someone else the next night."

Thirteen's head snapped over to search the hallway for the source of the voice, the girl she was with taking the opportunity to move her attentions to her neck.

"Dr. Cameron!" She giggled as the girl nipped at a particularly sensitive part of her neck. "Nice of you to show up." She grabbed the other girl's hand and pulled her down the hallway toward the other doctor, now standing in front of her door. "This is, um-" She glanced back at the girl trailing behind her, biting her lip slightly.

"Cassie." The girl replied, giggling.

"Cassie. We were just having a little fun. Care to join us?" The newly-identified trick pressed her body into Thirteen's back, continuing to kiss and grope her as she spoke with the other doctor.

"No." She paused, squinting and leaning in to examine Thirteen's eyes. "-Are you high right now? You're pupils are huge."

"Yeah." A rattling noise came from Cassie, the two of them glancing over at her. "Want some?"

"No. Look, Remy, can I please talk to you?"

"Your name is Remy? Cool." Cassie breathed, taking a break just to dive back into Thirteen's neck.

"What do you need to talk ab-oh my, Cassie. You have a talented tongue. Did you know that?" She turned to kiss the other girl properly, pushing her against the wall again.

Cameron hesitated, burning holes in the back of Thirteen's head with her stare. "Thirteen." She said, annoyed at her counterpart's unbelievably short attention span. "Chase and I had a fight." She yelled, hoping that could grab her attention.

It did, barely. Thirteen turned her head back, smiling as sweetly as ever. "And I should give a fuck why?"

"Because I have no one else to talk to about this." Cameron begged.

"Bull shit." Thirteen murmured, attention returned to Cassie. "You have plenty of friends to talk to. Like, um, what's her face? The housewife."

"Jenny."

"Mmm." Cassie pulled Thirteen's shirt over her head and flung it at the door, grinning and leaning down to kiss her chest and neck.

"Remy!" Cameron grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around, "Will you fucking listen to me for one second?"

"I've been listening to you." Thirteen replied, grabbing Cameron by the belt and pulling her forward. "But what's in it for me, huh?" She bent down to kiss Cameron's neck, the blonde's hand coming up to grasp a tuft of her hair.

"Shit, Remy. Stop." She tried to push her away, but the other woman had a tight grip on her.

Cassie came up behind Thirteen, deciding that sharing her catch of the night was better than not having one.

"No. No no no." Cameron pushed away even more forcefully this time, turning toward the door, her chest heaving.

Thirteen pulled away from her trick and stepped up behind the other woman, tentatively reaching a hand out to her shoulder. Cameron twitched at her touch, partly pulling away, partly trying to contain the urge to turn and let herself be swept away by this beautiful woman.

"I'm sorry." Remy stated weakly, her mouth gaping open with words she couldn't find. She turned back to Cassie, pulling money out of her pocket and placing it in her hand. "Catch a cab. I'll call you."

The blonde sighed, turning and walking down the hallway disappointed.

"Come inside." Thirteen whispered, looping her arms around Cameron's waist. "I promise I'll be all ears, okay?"

Cameron just nodded, face still turned away in an attempt to avoid the other woman's eyes. Thirteen pulled her keys out and opened the door, letting the girl in before closing and locking it behind them.

"I always imagined your place would look like this."

Thirteen chuckled, grabbing her hand and leading her over to the bed.

"It's a real bachelor pad." Her voice was trembling from her nerves and Thirteen looked up at her from her spot sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm not trying to pull anything. It's late and you look like you could use some rest. Besides, we both have work tomorrow." She promised, tugging gently on Cameron's hand. "Come on. Lie down with me for a little while." Cameron obliged, smiling weakly at her.

Thirteen got up and removed the remainder of her clothes, changing into something more comfortable to sleep in. She knew Cameron was watching her, could hear her breathing quicken, feel her eyes on every new inch of exposed skin. Once she was changed, she tossed an oversized t-shirt at Cameron. "Here. It's Eric's. You can have it."

Cameron laughed, tentatively pulling her shirt off and quickly replacing it with the new one, removing her bra and jeans from under the safety of its cover.

Thirteen walked around to the other end of the bed and plopped down, Cameron lying down next to her, both on their stomachs, propped up on their elbows. She paused for a second, staring at the brunette as she tried to hide her face behind her hair. Cameron lifted her hand tentatively, pushing the brown locks behind her ear, letting her finger caress the shell of it and brush against her neck on the way back down to the mattress.

"You can't do this to me right now, Cameron." She was biting her lip now, chewing on it rather forcefully, her eyes still on her hands.

"Do what?"

"You know what." Remy finally looked up at her, closing her eyes immediately and returning them to her hands.

"Why?"

"Because I don't have the willpower or the sense to stop you."

"I lied earlier, you know." There was a pause after this, the silence practically ringing through the apartment.

Thirteen broke it with a sigh. "What are you talking about, Allison?"

"I'm not here because I need someone to talk to. I'm here because, no matter how bad things get, being in your arms makes everything go away." Cameron leant over to kiss Thirteen gently on the forehead, then slide her face down to be closer to the other woman's lips.

"I'm an idiot, you know that?" Remy whispered, licking her lips. "I'm an idiot because I'm about to kiss you and once I do, there's no turning back. Once I do, there's no hiding in a shot of Jack Daniels, an e pill and some nameless, faceless body. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Cameron didn't respond, just closed the distance between their lips, holding the other woman's face tightly in her hands. Thirteen pulled away, tears running down her cheeks.

"You're going to break my heart, aren't you?"

And again Cameron kissed her, more forcefully this time, pressing the other woman onto her back and straddling her. She moved her lips to Thirteen's neck, pushing her shirt up and pulling it off, discarding it somewhere on the floor. She continued moving lower, her lips lingering above Thirteen's heart, she swore she could feel its quickened beat reverberate through her body. She looked up at Remy's face, her lips still pressed to her chest. One hand was thrown over her eyes; the other was clutching the sheets around her so hard her knuckles had begun to turn white. Her face shone from tears she was still shedding. She continued on, turning her attention back to the body below her, taking a nipple into her mouth and enjoying the way the body arched slightly toward her, loving the way her toes curled and the way she twisted the sheets even tighter in her grasp. She began running a hand up Thirteen's inner thigh, pressing gently against the wet panties when she came to them.

"Oh, Allison."

That was what Cameron loved the most. The way she moaned out her name, the way she tried to resist their encounters but always ended up back in her arms. Cameron slid back up her body, carefully removing the hand from her lover's eyes and placing tender kisses in its place.

"Don't hide from me." She whispered, pressing her forehead up against the brunette's.

She closed the gap between their lips again, slipping her fingers inside Remy's panties and caressing her clit.

"Oh, fuck." Thirteen grasped Cameron's hips as tightly as she could.

"Tell me you want me inside of you." It was more a plea than a command. "I need to know you want this too; that I'm not alone; that you're not saying these things because of the drugs, Remy. Please."

She nodded slowly, eyes fixed on Cameron's. "Allison Cameron. I want you inside of me."

She entered her with two fingers, leaving her thumb to continue to worry about her clit, and began sliding in and out of her slowly and deliberately. Thirteen had a solid grip on her arms now, her eyes closed to focus on other senses. "Faster." She whimpered, her entire body beginning a slow grind as the pace began to pick up. She reached her hands back and grabbed onto her headboard for dear life. "Jesus, you're getting good at this."

Cameron leaned down to capture her bottom lip between her teeth, pulling at it, releasing then returning to soothe it with her tongue. She began sliding her other hand over Thirteen's breasts, teasing them with barely there caresses.

"Oh fuck, Cameron, I'm so fucking close." She managed out between lip crushing kisses. Her body twitched, shining with sweat in the dim light cast by the moon, a silent witness to their passion. The grinding of her hips turned into more of a bucking motion, her entire body arching, moving, and fluctuating. One of her hands moved to grab the back of Cameron's neck, increasing the force of their kiss, the other grasped the hips of the other woman, who had begun using them to increase the force of her thrusts. Finally, she threw her head back, ripping her lips from Cameron's, her entire body tensing and thrusting upward, her hands slamming down onto the bed to support her weight.

"A-Allison. Oh shit." She collapsed down onto the mattress, trying desperately to catch her breath.

Cameron pulled out of her, lying on her side next to Thirteen on the bed and tracing lazy patterns on her abdomen. She leaned over to kiss her lover gently on the lips, a severe contrast to the bruising ones they'd been sharing just seconds ago.

"I love you." Thirteen glanced over at Cameron, "You know that right?"

The blonde nodded wordlessly, then added. "Yeah. Get some rest. It's late." She laid her head on Thirteen's chest, holding her tightly and trying to avoid seeing the tears she knew were falling.


	8. Chapter 6

So, next installment. I hope those of you still following this story will enjoy it. I've been busy, so that's why the updates have been kind of few and far between lately, but I'm working on it. I completely made up the name of the town, by the way. There was supposed to be no likeness to any real town in New Jersey. Anyway. Enjoy!

Thirteen felt the body behind her more than anything else, though she heard the slow intake of breath as the other woman inhaled her scent, she was struck more by the feel of the other body pulling tighter against her own.

"Morning, baby." She whispered into her hair, kissing her exposed cheek gently.

Thirteen pulled away quickly, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and scanning the floor for her clothing.

"Good morning. Are you hungry?" She found her long forgotten shirt and pulled it over her head, stalking off toward the kitchen.

"Um, yeah." Cameron called into the other room, pulling herself up onto her elbows. "Are you okay?"

"Perfect." Thirteen replied, turning to hold up the boxes from the kitchen. "Cheerios or Corn Flakes?"

Cameron stood, ignoring her nakedness to cross the distance between them and grab the boxes out of Remy's hands to place them on the counter. Thirteen tried to pull away, to turn to the fridge, but the blonde grasped her wrists tightly, pulling her into a tense embrace.

"What's wrong?" She probed, rubbing the other woman's back gently, hearing her sigh, feeling her soft brown hair tickle her shoulder as she slowly shook her head.

"You're leaving." Thirteen's body relaxed dejectedly, dropping her forehead to the blonde's shoulder. "You're going back to Chase."

"I never said that." Cameron pulled her upper body away, removing a hand from Remy's hips to brush away the curtain of hair that hid her face. "Remy, this isn't an easy situation for me either. I need to decide if I love you or Chase, or both or-" She shook her head silently, "or if I even believe it's possible to love two people at once. You're the first girl I've ever been with." She reached up to encourage Thirteen's chin upward, to look her in the eyes. "I just need some time. Please."

How could she be angry? Those blue eyes implored her so perfectly.

"Okay." She pulled away and reached for the boxes on the counter. "Which one?"

"I always kind of figured you for more of a sugary cereal kind of girl?" Cameron raised her eyebrows hopefully.

Her grin spread to Thirteen's face as well, and she reached into the cabinet, pulling out a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Now _that's _more like it." Cameron said, swiping the box from her hands and heading to the table.

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"What the-" A hand quickly covered Thirteen's mouth as she was dragged into the bathroom. "Cameron? What the hell are you doing?"

"I had to talk to you in private." The blonde grinned, keeping her distance in case somebody came in. "I decided that I need to give you a fair chance to prove you're in this for the long haul. To show me you'd throw yourself completely into a relationship with me." Thirteen raised an eyebrow at her. "Take me somewhere tonight. Anywhere."

"You want me to court you?" The brunette replied, chuckling slightly.

"Yes. I want you to date me. Robert and I dated. So it wouldn't be fair to you if you and I didn't date."

Thirteen chewed on her lip for a minute, contemplating. "Okay. I'll swing by after work. Don't dress up." She turned and left the bathroom, rejoining her confused colleagues with a simple, "What? I had to pee."

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Thirteen nudged Cameron gently, stirring her from her nap in the front seat of the brunette's car.

"Hey. We're here."

Cameron rubbed her eyes and stretched, murmuring "it's about damn time we got here" and glancing around at her surroundings. They were parked in the parking lot of a small, wooden, windowless building, a neon sign outside that read simply "Rick's". "Where the hell is here?" She asked, staring bewildered at her date.

"Rick's in Carndel, New Jersey." Thirteen replied, pulling herself out of her car. "Come on." She called out just as the door closed.

The two entered the building, every head turning in their direction, most turning back to their drinks in a matter of seconds. The place was full of people seated at tables scattered throughout the restaurant or the bar off to the left of the entrance. There was a small dance floor beyond the tables and a tiny stage where a DJ booth was set up, though at the moment all music was coming from a juke box in the corner. To the left of the bar was a window into another room, with tickets hanging in it: A kitchen.

"Oh, my Jesus. Remy Hadley, is that you?" A large bearded man choked out from behind the bar, his grin growing by the second. "Holy crap. I never figured I'd see you in here again. C'mon and give me a hug." He pushed up the small piece of wood separating the back of the bar from the entrance and enveloped the brunette in a hug.

"Hey, Rick." She squeaked out, returning the hug as best as she could manage, enjoying the chance to breathe when he pulled away. "This is my friend, Allison."

"Oh, your friend, huh?" He winked at the blonde, hugging her with as much enthusiasm as the other woman. "You don't have to play those games here." He swept his hand across his kingdom, chest swelling with pride. "This is Rick's."

"You brought me to a gay bar in- Carndel? I don't even know where that is." Cameron asked, turning to Thirteen.

"You wanted me to open up to you." She replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I do want you to open up to me. You're doing a pretty poor job of it so far." She added chuckling.

"Remy used to work for me here. Started when she was-" Rick chimed in, pausing to stroke his beard, "Oh, bout 14? She started washing dishes, ended up bartending when she turned 16." He ruffled her hair affectionately, once again pulling her close to him. "I loved having her around. Gave me someone to talk to on slow nights. Plus, she worked for cheap."

"Wait." Cameron was slowly piecing together the picture, "This is your hometown."

Thirteen nodded silently, squeaking out "yeah."

"Well, why don't you ladies go grab a table and I'll bring you out some drinks. You still drink whiskey?" He added to Remy who shook her head.

"I'm driving tonight. But whatever she wants is on me." She nodded her head toward Cameron, who blushed slightly.

"Actually, it's on me." He laughed, shaking both himself and the smaller woman pulled close next to him. "What'll it be, cutie?"

"Screwdriver?" The blonde asked, trying to stick to something relatively simple.

"Screwdriver it is!" He turned around and headed back behind the bar.

Thirteen grabbed Cameron by the hand and pulled her into a dimly lit corner booth, pulling her close. "I figured here I could open up to you and we wouldn't have to worry about running into anyone that knows the name Robert Chase." She kissed her gently, enjoying the feeling of forgetting their complications. A minute later, Rick showed back up with nachos in one hand and two drinks in the other. "Enjoy, ladies."

"He seems nice." Cameron mused, smiling as she glanced around the bar.

"He is. Practically saved my life when I came out." She played absentmindedly with the blonde's hands as she spoke.

"So, tell me. What was life like here?"

Thirteen bit her lip, her face twisting in deep concentration. "I imagine it was like most small towns. There wasn't much to do unless you had a car or a friend with a car. So there was your normal mischief: Egging houses, making out in people's basements." She shrugged, "Not very exciting."

"Somehow I can't really see you doing that stuff." Cameron tilted her head to the side as if she could somehow suddenly see the brunette in a different way.

"I was never really like that." Remy admitted.

"So what did _you_ do?" Cameron prodded, poking a finger into Thirteen's chest.

"I worked here." She began, dragging out syllables to buy herself more time. "Spent time with my girlfriends or boyfriends, when and if I had them" She shrugged, "And I don't know. I went to parties sometimes. I wasn't popular but I wasn't entirely a loser."

Cameron knitted her eyebrows. "I don't understand. You seem like you would've been incredibly popular."

"I don't like to share." Thirteen blurted out, shrugging. "I don't like to gossip or talk about my past or pretend to care about whatever the drama of the day was. I never related well to the popular kids."

"Did you have a lot of friends?"

"Not really. I had a lot of acquaintances, but when they tried to push deeper, I'd block them off. I went to a lot of parties, drank all the time, had a lot of boyfriends, then a girlfriend or two."

"Not even when you were a kid?"

"Well, back then most kids were talking about what their mom packed them for lunch, or how their mom was planning their birthday party and it was going to be so cool or 'will you come over for dinner tonight? My mom's making spaghetti!'" She shifted uncomfortably in the padded seat. "I never had a lot to say in those conversations, so I never really made real, lasting friendships."

Cameron nodded slowly. "Makes a lot of sense."

"So what about you? Where did you grow up? What was it like?" Thirteen deflected, finding life outside of the spotlight much more comfortable.

"I grew up in a small town in the Midwest. Sounds a lot like your childhood, except I was a popular kid. I had lots of friends, one boyfriend throughout my entire four years of high school. He was a pitcher on the baseball team. My older brother was extremely protective of me, and if he knew how much sex my boyfriend and I were having, he would've flipped." She punctuated this with exaggerated hand gestures and a smile. "My parents owned a convenience store…" She waved vaguely, "I think that's it. Not very exciting."

"Well, I think my childhood holds enough excitement for the two of us."

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"Okay, where are we going now?" Cameron was slightly tipsy, walking hand in hand through the downtown area of her girlfriend's hometown. All the shop windows were darkened, the only light coming from the street lamps surrounding them. They were beginning to come to a residential area now, the shops fading away to houses and yards

"You'll see." Thirteen was being incredibly cryptic at the moment, deflecting every question the blonde had shot at her regarding their whereabouts. She glanced over at Cameron, who was pouting quite obviously, and relented. "We're almost there. I promise." She leaned down to place a reassuring kiss on the other doctor's forehead. Another minute of walking in silence, and Thirteen stopped dead in her tracks. "Right here." She whispered.

Cameron followed her gaze to the house they were currently standing in front of. She opened her mouth to speak, but noticing the look on the other woman's face, decided it would be best to let Remy speak in her own time. Thirteen grabbed Cameron's hand, and pulled her over to the curb, placing the blonde carefully.

"Where you're standing right now," She swallowed thickly; glancing up at the house again, "is the last place I ever saw my mom."

Cameron's jaw dropped open, she found herself completely unable to speak. "Remy, I-"

"And that-" Thirteen ignored her, pointing to the top window, "That window up there that looks like an attic? That was my room. That was where I stood watching my father put her in the car. Watching him plead with me to come to the hospital."

"But you didn't." Cameron's eyes were plastered on the brunette's distracted face.

"No, I didn't."

"Why?"

Thirteen paused for a second, her breath coming heavily. "Because I wanted her to die." She could see Cameron's eyes popping out of her head in bewilderment, though she kept her eyes fixed on the house. "You and Foreman are the only people I've ever told this to." Her voice came out as a whisper, losing any strength or conviction it once may have held. "I thought she was a monster. She was always yelling at me-even in front of the few friends I had-she couldn't control her body; she didn't act like a human being. I didn't understand. And that's what I'm going to become." The last part was so quiet it was almost lost to the low whispers of the wind, but Cameron heard it.

The blonde placed a hand onto Remy's arm, pulling her into an embrace. "Remy. I don't know what to say. You'll never be a monster."

"I was the monster, though. I hated my mom until the day she died. Hated her for something that's a part of me."

"That's not your fault."

Thirteen just pulled her tighter, her body quaking with tears she was unable to cry.

"What the hell are you doing on my lawn?" A voice called out from the darkness, a man stepping off of the porch and toward the two women.

"Shit." Thirteen whispered, pulling away from Cameron and wiping her face with the back of her hand. She began striding confidently toward the man.

"Listen, you need to get off my property or I'm going to-" The man was cut short as Thirteen stepped into the light of the porch. "Remy? Is that you?"

She couldn't respond, only stand there and nod slightly.

"I can't believe it. All these years and you just show up on the doorstep?" He stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. "How have you been?"

"I'm okay." She shrugged, her mouth gaping open, waiting for words to come to her. "How's Caroline?"

He glanced back at the silhouetted figure of his new wife in the doorway, then to his daughter. "She's fine. How's-" He paused, groping for a name he'd forgotten long ago. "Your girlfriend?"

"I don't have a girlfriend." She responded solemnly.

"Then who's that?" He waved toward Cameron, his lips pressed tightly together. "You know I hate it when you lie to me."

"We work together, Dad. We're both doctors."

"So you did it, then." A small smile cracked through the tense moment. "You became a doctor."

"And" Cameron butted in, stepping forward, "she works for the best diagnostician in the country."

"My girl." He beamed, an unusual moment of pride coming from the man. "I always told you you were stubborn enough to do anything you set your mind to." His face turned suddenly sour and he sized her up skeptically, raising a hand to point at her accusingly. "And all that bisexual crap- You're over it?"

"No."

He dropped his hand and shook his head. "And all that shit about atheism?"

"Still stands."

He turned to walk back inside. "I should've figured you were still the same ignorant little brat you were when you were a kid. You're just like your mother."

"You're right." She yelled after him weakly, stopping him just when he was about to close the door. "I am just like her. Except I have even less time than she did." He simply stared at her from the doorframe. "But don't worry, I won't waste any more of it on you." She turned and walked away, grabbing Cameron's hand in the process and pulling her back the way they came.

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"Are you okay?" Cameron asked, jogging slightly to catch up with Thirteen's brisk steps.

"I'm sorry," She stopped dead in her tracks, "I didn't expect to see him. I didn't even think he still lived there."

The blonde came to a halt as well, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it." She stepped back toward Remy and placed a hand on her cheek. "This has been one of the best dates I've ever been on. Well, up until the last part. But the fact that you let me see that: that tells me all I need to know about how serious you are." She leaned in to place a reassuring peck on Thirteen's lips.

"Will you let me take you one last place?" She asked, keeping her eyes closed even when Cameron ended the kiss.

"Remy, I would follow you to the ends of the earth." Cameron emoted, overacting in the worst sort of way and batting her eyelashes at the brunette.

Thirteen just rolled her eyes, doing her best to suppress her laughter as she took a right and headed a ways until the end of the road, where they entered a wooded area.

"Where are you taking me? This isn't going to end up like Deliverance, is it? Because I wouldn't be able to deal with that."

Remy laughed and shook her head. "Not unless you want it to." She climbed a steep slope, stopping at the top to help Cameron up as well. "We're here." She plopped down to lean against a tree.

"Wow. This is beautiful." They had reached a clearing at the top of a hill, acres of woods rolled out beneath them. She allowed herself to be pulled onto Thirteen's lap, and cuddled into her girlfriend. They sat there in silence for a minute, simply enjoying each other's company. "Remy."

"Hmm." Thirteen's eyes were shut blissfully, her body and mind ran ragged by the emotional events of the night.

"I love you too."


	9. Chapter 7

Okay. So there's a LITTLE bit of Chase/Cameron loving in the beginning. I promise there will be Some Camteen/Cadley goodness in the next chapter, though. Enjoy!

"Chase." Cameron whimpered, allowing herself to be shoved into the exam chair.

"I've missed you so much." He responded, kissing her face while he quickly unzipped his pants and pushed her skirt as far up her thighs as it would go.

"Oh, Robert." She murmured again as he eased himself inside her, slowly beginning to pump in and out of her heated body.

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"Where the hell is she?" Thirteen growled, exiting the elevator and walking toward the nurses' station.

"Hey, slow down!" Foreman yelled after her, jogging to catch up.

She swept the ER with a glance, quickly reaching down to page Cameron once again. Her attention snapped to the little black electronic resting on the nurses' station.

"Jesus Christ, that thing has been going off non-stop for the past half hour!" One of the nurses complained, searching the counter for the source of the beeping.

Thirteen snatched it up before the nurse could. "Have you seen Doctor Cameron anywhere?"

"Last time I saw her, she was seeing a patient in exam room two." The annoyed nurse responded, grudgingly returning to her previous task.

"Stay here in case she shows up." She ordered Foreman, leaving before he had a chance to respond.

She shoved the door to the exam room open, not willing to take the few seconds to knock. Her jaw dropped open and a visceral reaction swirled in her stomach. She quickly slammed the door closed, turning and leaning against the wall, slowly sinking to the floor. She could feel the earth spinning beneath her, the building groaning and swaying. She closed her eyes against the overload of sensation: the pagers, the phones, the talking, the creaky wheels of the gurneys. Suddenly, the door opened again, and Cameron emerged.

"Remy." She stopped at that, not knowing what else to say, and squatted down beside the other doctor. She reached over to her, grabbing her hand and stroking it gently with her thumb. "Please say something."

Thirteen opened her eyes and looked down at the hand now holding hers. The diamond ring was back. She pulled away and stood, tossing the pager at the other doctor. "We need a consult. Clean yourself up and get to House's office."

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"Remind me again how you always manage to talk me into this crap." Thirteen sulked, folding her arms across her chest and leaning into her white folding chair pedantically. "I hate weddings."

"Okay." Foreman sighed, turning toward her slightly. "What's been going on with you and Cameron lately?"

Just hearing the blonde's name made her jaw clench shut. "Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot, you know." Foreman replied, raising his eyebrows.

"No one said you were an idiot."

"Then stop acting like it's not painfully obvious that you and Cameron are fighting." At her silence, he added, "I didn't even know the two of you talked to each other. Unless… Does this have to do with Chase?"

"No!" She snapped, the mere idea of it annoyed her to no end.

"That's why you broke up with me, isn't it? You were fucking Chase." His voice began to rise, and Thirteen did her best to quiet him.

"I wasn't fucking Chase." She insisted, grabbing his arm and glancing around to remind him of where they were.

"Oh, so it's just a coincidence that you start hating Cameron when the two of them get engaged? You're jealous."

"I am _not_ jealous of Cameron." She said, finding herself smiling at the irony of Foreman's accusations. "Now we're at a wedding, can we please just have a good time and be happy for our friends like normal people?"

Foreman opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the music.

"Here we go." She whispered to herself.

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It had been harder than she thought to watch Cameron stand at the altar and marry Chase; she looked so happy with him, happy without her. She downed another glass of champagne, promising herself it would be the last one of the night. She was shaken from her thoughts by the approach of a smiling man. He was tall, with brown hair and a football player's build that his tux showed off extremely well.

"Hey there." His smile grew a little, if that were possible, and he extended a glass of champagne to her. "I'm John Cameron, Allison's older brother."

She took the glass, figuring one more couldn't hurt, and shook his hand. "Dr. Hadley. Most people just call me Thirteen, though."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that? You're not unlucky are you?"

"Not if you play your cards right." She smirked at him, bringing the glass of champagne to her lips.

John cleared his throat, and shifted to his other foot. "So, you work for that guy my sister used to work for?" he snapped his fingers, trying to remember the name.

"House." She supplied.

"Right, House." He found himself easily getting lost in the brunette's pretty features. "So, you're a doctor too, huh? I've never had a doctor as pretty as you." It was a clumsy come-on and he silently kicked himself for it.

"Well, you've been going to the wrong hospitals, then. Where do you live?"

"I'm living in Chicago right now. It's a big city, but still close enough to home. My parents are heartbroken that their princess is living so far away."

Thirteen couldn't help but laugh at that. "Princess?"

"That was her nickname as a kid." He responded, smiling as well.

"And what was yours?" She stepped forward, grabbing the lapels of his jacket, "Stud?"

The two of them laughed together for a minute, before he brought a hand up to her hip. "I just went by Johnny. I can see why Allie likes it here so much, though."

"John! Thirteen!" Allison walked up, and the two of them broke apart. "How are you doing?"

Thirteen chose not to answer, instead fixing her gaze on the other woman while John mumbled out a weak 'fine' and looked at his shoes.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She pulled Thirteen by the arm into an empty room down the hall from where the reception was being held. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She snapped, turning around to face Remy.

"That's a long list." Thirteen snorted, sitting on a bench pushed up against the wall. "You're going to have to be more specific."

"You're flirting with my brother."

"He wants me." She shrugged, "Must run in the Cameron family."

Cameron didn't hesitate to slap her with all the force she could muster.

"Fuck you, Remy." She squatted down. "I know you're angry, but this is not the place or the time for retaliation."

Thirteen rubbed the stinging part of her face, trying to take deep enough breaths to keep the tears from rising to her eyes. "I'm not angry at anybody." She responded, her voice calm save for the quiver in it. The shock of being hit was washing over her, her entire body was shaking.

"Bull shit."

"What we had was great, but I was too quick to call it love." She looked over into Cameron's blue eyes, feeling the burn of tears again but quickly repressing them. "You broke down a lot of walls that I thought were going to be there forever. And you made me feel safe while they crumbled. But that's not love. You can't love someone after knowing them a month."

"What are you saying?" The fire in Cameron had died, and now she found that she was shaking too, though she didn't fight the tears now gracing her face.

Thirteen looked away. "I don't love you."

"Look me in the eye and say that." Cameron demanded, grasping Thirteen's thighs to get her attention. "Look at me!"

Thirteen did as she was told, the pain in the other woman's face hurt her so much, but she knew she had to do it. "I never loved you. Now go start your life with your husband."

Cameron slowly stood, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I meant it, Remy. And I still do. I love you." She walked back into the reception, smiling as if nothing had happened.

"Yeah. You just love Chase more."


	10. Chapter 8

Okey doke. Here's my next chapter. Sorry, but it's going to get worse for the two of them before it gets better. Anyway, keep those reviews coming, they really help, believe it or not.

Cameron stood in front of the door for what seemed like a lifetime, listening to the TV flipping through channels inside. It had been months since she'd really spoken with Thirteen, every interaction had been reduced to pleasantries and work conversations, as if nothing had ever happened between them. So much had changed since the wedding, snow covered the ground now, a sharp contrast to the beautiful sunny day she had married on. She felt a sudden burst of courage and rapped solidly on the door. It swung open, and all of her bravado quickly dissipated back into fear.

"Hi." She said quietly, quickly realizing Remy wasn't going to respond. "Can I come in for a little while?"

Thirteen stepped off to the side, shutting the door behind the blonde. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize." She stared down at her hands, wringing them helplessly. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know." Thirteen nodded to herself, eventually adding, "But you did. What is it they say? 'The path to hell is paved with good intentions?' Well, no matter what you meant to do, you ended up hurting me. If you came here for absolution, don't waste your breath."

"That's not why I'm here." Cameron took a step toward her, bringing her eyes up to meet Thirteen's gray ones. "I'm here because I care about you."

"Look, Cameron. Do whatever you need to fall asleep at night. But leave me out of it." She picked up the remote and headed back toward the couch, planning on resuming her evening.

"You want to know what I have to do to fall asleep at night?" The blonde called after her, backing herself slowly into the wall and unbuttoning her jeans. "Chase is starting to suspect things. He asks me why he's not enough for me, and I don't have an answer. He thinks I'm cheating on him." She slid her hand into her pants, caressing herself for Thirteen's benefit.

Remy watched her, licking her lips subconsciously. She strode across the room quickly and efficiently, stopping inches from the other woman. "Why are you here?" She squinted skeptically at the blonde, though she wanted nothing more than to finish the job for her.

"Oh, God." She swallowed, slipping a finger inside of herself. "Because I can't stop thinking about you. I still fantasize about you all the time." She threw her head back against the wall. "Oh, Remy. Please touch me."

Thirteen swallowed, her will to protect herself was losing the battle with her desire to touch the beauty before her. "Take your clothes off." Cameron obliged, quickly pulling each garment off and throwing them off to the side. Once she was naked, she stepped forward, attempting to kiss the brunette, only to be rebuffed. "Turn around and put your hands on the wall." She did as she was told, her stomach was doing flips as Thirteen dragged her fingertips up the older woman's sides. Cameron tried to reach back and grab Thirteen's hips, but they were quickly slammed back against the wall. "Move them again and it's over."

She swallowed roughly, whimpering as Thirteen pressed herself against her from behind, roughly caressing her nipples.

"Oh Jesus, Remy." She whimpered as one of the hands strayed down to rub against her clit.

"Thirteen." The brunette corrected in her ear. The distinction was perfectly clear.

She whimpered as Thirteen slid a finger inside of her, then two, thrusting quickly from the start. It felt amazing, the other woman had always known exactly how to touch her to make her knees weak, but there was something empty in the act as well.

"I don't want it to be like this." Cameron felt a sob break out in her throat.

Thirteen silenced her by repositioning her fingers to hit her g-spot. "Listen to me. This can never happen again, understand?"

Cameron nodded, unable to form words at the moment.

"Say it."

"Th-this c-can never h-happen again." She sobbed out.

"After this, you're going to go home and fuck your husband. And every time he wants to have sex after that, you're going to do it. Because you love him." When Cameron didn't respond, Thirteen stilled her hand, using her other to keep the blonde's hips from moving. "Say it."

"After this, I'm going to go home and f-fuck my husband. And everytime he wants to. B-because I l-love him."

"And this is never going to happen again because you _don't _love me."

"And this is never going to happen again because I don't love you."

Thirteen slammed her fingers back inside the blonde, eliciting a strangled moan from her lips. She was grasping helplessly at the wall, her muscles contracting as she came, body glistening with sweat and tears. She collapsed onto the floor, leaning against the wall and attempting to catch her breath. The combination of her orgasm and the sobs racking her body made it impossible, however, and the way Thirteen was standing above her, staring coldly at her made sure the crying wouldn't stop soon.

"Hurry up and get dressed. I have a friend coming over in a little bit." She said, voice lacking the clarity and force she had hoped.

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"I'm worried about my girls."

Wilson looked up from his paperwork, not at all surprised to find House entering his room and sitting unceremoniously in the chair across from him.

"Oh no, Charlie. Did the murderer find out that the woman he thought was just a wealthy vineyard owner was really Farrah Fawcett?"

"The character's name was Jill Munroe." House snapped back. "If you're going to come up with a witty comeback, you might as well know what you're talking about."

"I knew that." Wilson responded, shaking his head as he returned to his paperwork.

"They're avoiding each other." House continued, resting his chin on his cane.

Wilson sighed, putting his pen back down on the desk. "Okay, I'll bite. Who?"

"Cameron and Thirteen."

"So, the idealist and the cynic aren't getting along? Fascinating."

House shook his head. "It's more than that. They're being overly polite to one another."

"House." Wilson raised his voice slightly, as he always did when he had to point out the obvious to his friend. "It's called civility. It's a trait some people possess."

"Not Thirteen." House cut in.

Wilson faltered at that, opening his mouth and then closing it again wordlessly. "What are you going to do?"

"Send them on an all-expenses paid vacation to San Francisco together."

Wilson knit his eyebrows. "Really?"

"There's an immunology convention next week. Cameron's already going, and Cuddy says she wants someone from my team to go. I was going to send Taub, but I think this will be much more fun."


	11. Chapter 9

Okay. This chapter isn't as long or as good as it could be. I've been sitting on it for a week or two, hoping I could figure out somewhere to go with it, but I figured I didn't have to make y'all wait on it. So here you go. Hope you enjoy, and as always, reviews are very much appreciated (including any constructive criticism you may have).

Cameron sighed, dropping her bag to the floor.

"Of course."

Thirteen hadn't spoken to her for the entire cross country flight and her frustration was beginning to wear through her normally calm and reserved exterior. Especially now that she saw there was only one bed in their shared room.

"I can't believe House did this." The brunette's voice was full of shock as she pushed her way into the small space.

"Really?" Cameron's voice was considerably more normal, she had gotten used to House's shenanigans in her years working for him.

Thirteen sighed, changing her mind. "No, I guess I can." She began unpacking her things, choosing one half of the dresser for her clothes to occupy. "No wonder the girl at the desk was smiling at us like that."

Cameron sat herself on the edge of the queen sized bed, fiddling absentmindedly with the comforter. "Hey, Thirteen?" The younger woman glanced up, silently signaling her to continue. "Can we be friends? Just for this trip?" Thirteen paused, but didn't respond. "I would've asked the same of Taub. I just don't want to be alone for an entire week."

She turned more completely to face the blonde. "I guess."

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"Morning, sunshine!"

Cameron blinked her eyes open, slowly rubbing the sleep from them. "Remy?"

"Yep." The brunette sat on the edge of the bed, already showered and fully dressed. "The lecture starts in an hour. Get up."

Cameron felt a pang of jealousy rip through her. Thirteen had gone out last night and not come back. "Was she pretty?" She croaked out.

Thirteen chuckled uncertainly. "What? Who?"

"The girl you fucked last night." The words had more of a bite to them than Cameron had expected, though she didn't regret it in the slightest.

"I didn't fuck anyone last night." Remy responded, shaking her head. "Not that it's any of your business."

Cameron ignored the comment, continuing her line of questioning. "Then where were you all night?"

"At a friend's. I figured it would be more comfortable than the two of us having to share a bed." Thirteen scoffed and stood, turning to walk out the door. "I brought you breakfast. It's on the dresser." She said, motioning to the paper bag. "I'll see you at the conference."

"Remy, wait." Cameron called out, sitting up in the bed. "I'm sorry." Thirteen froze in the doorway, hand twitching on the knob deciding whether she should stay or go. "It's just-this hasn't been easy for me, either. Okay? And it's not the woman thing because that—while confusing—is entirely beside the point." The brunette turned to face her, apparently deciding to hear the older woman out. "I never thought I would be that person." She sighed out, quickly clarifying, "A cheater. I always thought it was totally wrong, I never understood why you would do that to someone you love. And then I found myself with you-" She threw her hands into the air. "And, Remy, you're dying for fuck's sake." She stood, approaching the young woman tentatively. "And I don't know if I can go through that again. Because you were right, I do want kids and a white picket fence and all that. And yet when I'm with you, none of that even seems to matter." She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she locked eyes with the younger doctor. "I am so afraid of messing this decision up."

Thirteen raised a hand up to her cheek to brush the tear from Cameron's skin. "You do this to me every time."

"Do what?"

"You hurt me and then you show up and act vulnerable and I buckle."

"Sorry. Forget I said anything." She turned to go back to the bed, but Thirteen caught her arm before she could get very far.

"I didn't say that was a bad thing." She tugged gently on Cameron's arm, the blonde immediately wrapping her hands around Thirteen's hips. "If you ever decide you're ready, come find me. But don't expect me to wait forever." She kissed her gently on the lips. "Now go get showered. The lecture on that new lupus treatment won't wait for us."

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Cameron looked up to see Thirteen trudging through the door.

"Back so soon?" She asked, not having expected to see the brunette until morning.

"A guy collapsed on the dance floor, and of course I was the only person sober and competent enough to give him CPR for eight minutes until the goddamn paramedics showed up." She trudged further into the room, pausing to lean against the wall and stare at Cameron. She was looking cute in her nightshirt and glasses, the comforter resting over half her body.

"Aw, poor baby." The blonde put her book on the end table. "Are you okay?"

"Tired. Sore."

Cameron motioned her over, "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere. My arms, my shoulders, my back, my thighs." She was standing at the edge of the bed now, Cameron looking up at her with her large blue eyes.

"Take off your shirt and pants."

Thirteen blinked at her for a second, finally finding her voice. "Excuse me?"

"One thing not many people know about me is that in college, there was this really cute professor who just happened to teach Massage Therapy 101. I practiced a lot." She grinned. "I was kind of a teacher's pet."

The younger woman laughed, pulling her shirt and pants off and lying on the bed. Cameron moved to give her some space then straddled her, slowly working her fingertips into the brunette's shoulder.

"Does that feel good?" Allison asked, letting her fingers slide down either side of Thirteen's spine.

"So good." Remy mumbled absentmindedly into the pillow as the other woman's hands continued to move lower.

Cameron began massaging Thirteen's calves, slowly sliding her hands upward as she did so. When she reached her thighs, she stopped pushing and simply ran her fingertips across the sensitive skin.

"Allison." The brunette moaned, burying her face into the soft pillow. "No teasing."

"Sorry." Cameron exhaled shakily, rising from the bed and walking over to the balcony door. She leant her head against the cool glass, watching it fog with every breath she took.

Thirteen rolled herself onto her side, watching both their reflections in the door.

"Al."

"Why do you call me that?" Cameron didn't take her face from the sliding door in front of her.

"What? Al?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Allie doesn't feel right to me." Thirteen stood and walked over to the blonde, stopping to lean next to her.

"Remy, I-I'm so scared." She turned her head to look Thirteen in the eye finding their lips unbearably close to each other. "I want you so bad." They were milliseconds from kissing when a sharp knock interrupted them.


	12. Chapter 10

Okay. Sorry for the cliffhanger. I don't usually do OCs, but they're really just plot devices. This is most likely going to be the only time they show up. Thanks for all the kind words, it means a lot. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

"Remy! I brought us a-" The blonde man cut his sentence short, shocked to see an unfamiliar face in the doorway. "Oh. Um… Is Remy Hadley here?"

"Yeah, hang on." Cameron twisted in the doorway. "Thirteen! Some people are here to see you!" She turned back, motioning for them to follow her inside. "Please, come in. I'm Allison." She extended her hand out to them, waiting patiently for their names.

"Jack." The man said, taking her hand gently in his own, "And this is Emily."

The woman peered out from behind him to shake the doctor's hand. They were an odd couple, Jack was strong but lithe, dressed in a polo and ripped jeans and Emily had dyed red hair, dressed in a more punk style.

Thirteen emerged from the bathroom, a smile spread across her face. She had dressed quickly, sending Cameron to the door to buy her time. "Hey, Jack! What are you doing here?" She went over to hug him, smiling at both him and the girl accompanying him.

"Hey, baby girl. I just figured if you weren't gonna come to the party, I'd bring the party to you." He pulled a bottle of tequila from the paper bag in his hand. "Let's go to it."

"I'm Emily." The girl added, "And you're even cuter than he promised you were."

"You have to go." Thirteen laughed, even though the two showed no signs of leaving. He had already poured out four shots, pulling lime slices and salt from the bag as well.

"Stop being so negative. This is gonna be fun." He promised, holding the salt shaker up to her.

Remy glanced over at Cameron, silently asking her permission. The blonde just shrugged, walking over to the bed and took a seat next to their guests.

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"Can we talk?"

Thirteen could feel the influence of the alcohol on her body already, and apparently her companion could too. Cameron's hand rested gently on her inner thigh, stroking absentmindedly at the material covering the sensitive flesh, though it was enough to throw the younger woman's senses into overdrive.

"What?" The brunette blinked hazily at her friend, trying to ignore the other doctor's fingers.

"Can we talk in private for a minute?" Jack repeated, standing from the bed, "I really wanted to catch up with you."

Remy nodded, standing as well and leading the blond man to the balcony. They sat down on the cheap plastic chairs provided, sipping the drinks they'd made from the tequila and the contents of a vending machine in the hallway. It was raining, but the balcony above them provided shelter from the falling drops.

"So, that girl you were telling me about…" Jack trailed off, hoping Remy would respond. After a minute or so of waiting, he tried again. "Do you love her?"

Thirteen shook her head silently, unsure if she wanted to answer that question.

"More than anything."

"Is it scary?" He pressed, noting that she wouldn't look him in the eye for the conversation. He was pretty sure they wouldn't be having it at all if it weren't for the copious amounts of alcohol in her system.

"Terrifying." She brought the glass to her lips again, sighing. "She might not choose me."

"She'd be crazy not to." He assured, sipping from his own glass as well.

"No. I'm the wrong choice. I know that. It just hurts in a way I hadn't expected."

He stared silently at the side of her head for a minute, rolling her words around in his head. "The girls never choose the piece on the side, do they?"

"Nope."

"They figure they owe their husbands something, that they need to put his happiness over their own." His volume raised slightly; Unfortunately, Thirteen seemed unmoved by his display of passion.

"She's right though. She can't have what she wants with me."

"So why are you wasting your time on her?"

"Because she's so damn perfect." She leaned forward to rest her chin on the railing, watching the torrid surface of the pool below her as it fought against the rain.

Jack seemingly had nothing to say to that, so he simply joined her on the railing.

"I want to love somebody like that." He admitted after a few minutes, pushing the raindrops on the railing around with his index finger.

"Trust me, it's overrated."

"Maybe so." He began, leaning his head on its side to stare at her, "But I want to do it anyway. 'Tis better to have loved and lost…" He trailed off again, fascinated by the dull flash of emotion in her usually stoic features.

"Not for me." She pushed off the railing and stood, retreating back into the relative safety of the hotel room.

She was shocked at the scene she came across. It wasn't that she hadn't anticipated it happening; having tequila, limes and salt and _not _doing body shots would have surprised her more. It was just who was doing them. She watched her lover's stomach flex under the redhead's tongue as it slid up the length of her abs. Emily's lips lingered a little too long on the blonde's, and Remy bit back the urge to rip the girl off and beat her with the clock radio.

"Allison?" She managed to stammer out.

Jack, who had slipped in silently behind her, slowly put two and two together.

"The girl, it's her. It's Allison!" He began to bounce excitedly at his discovery.

"Hey, baby!" Cameron pushed herself up onto her shoulders. "Come do some shots with us." She grinned lopsidedly, attempting to look seductive in her inebriated state.

"I think I need some air." Remy rushed out the door, practically running to the elevator. She collapsed in the corner of the thankfully empty machine and covered her face with her hands. "What the hell is wrong with me?"


	13. Chapter 11

Gosh, it's been a long time since I updated this. I've been super busy with school and whatnot, but I'm determined to finish this story, so hang with me and it'll probably be finished in the next couple chapters. Hope you guys like it. As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

"Eric, please don't take offense to this," Thirteen began, stretching as she stood from her bed, "but get the fuck out of my apartment." She strutted over to the dresser, digging through it for something work appropriate.

Foreman sat up on his elbows, making no move to leave. "Your attitude has certainly changed since last night."

"Foreman, I really don't need this right now." She turned to face him, punctuating the action with a sharp exhalation of breath. "Last night meant nothing. I was lonely."

"So is Chase. Apparently he and Cameron have been having trouble in the bedroom ever since the wedding."

Thirteen whipped back around, turning her attention to her clothing. "Why should I care? And, more importantly, why are you making small talk when I asked you to leave?"

He threw his legs over the edge of the bed, sleepily meandering his way over to the brunette. "Because I noticed you two talking and I was wondering if you knew anything. And" He wrapped his arms around her, taking a second to kiss her neck, "because I know you don't really want me to leave."

"Maybe she's cheating." She held her breath, not wanting to miss a syllable of his response.

"Yeah, Chase said that too, but Cameron's not like that. Besides, he said she never comes home late or smells like sex or cologne." He shrugged, nestling closer to the warmth in front of him, "She's just lost interest."

"Yeah, well, I've lost interest in this conversation." She pulled away from him. "Get out."

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"I can't believe you went home early. And without even talking to me first! You didn't let me explain. Please call me back." Thirteen's thumb hovered over the "7" key on her phone, ready to erase Cameron's pleading from her voicemail. But part of her couldn't do it. She knew if she waited just another second, it would come. "Remy, I love you. Please." Another second pause and the automated voice clicked on with her options. Her thumb moved and pressed the "1" key, instead restarting the desperate message, just one of many left on her phone since the incident in San Francisco.

"Do I pay you to talk on the phone?"

Remy jumped, quickly flipping her phone shut and shoving it into her pocket. She instantly regained her composure, firing back, "The only people you pay are whores, House."

"Just supporting the underprivileged girls of America."

"I have to go, Cuddy asked me to help out in the ER." She turned, beginning her trudge to the hospital's third floor.

"No need, your girlfriend's back in town." House called to his fellow's retreating back.

Thirteen froze. Cameron was back? Had it been three days already? She peered back wearily over her shoulder. "Well, then, I have clinic duty to do."

"Wrong again. We have a case, see you in my office." With that, he hobbled toward the waiting elevator doors.

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"Remy!"

"Why don't I ever see these things coming?" the brunette moaned, groaning her frustration at Chase and Cameron's presence in the differential room.

"See what coming?" Chase asked, though any answer he may have received was interrupted by House thrusting the door open.

"You three have some talking to do. I've cleared all of your schedules for the afternoon."

"I should've figured 'I need a surgical consult' actually meant 'I'm going to lock you in a room.'" Chase muttered, plopping down into a chair.

House leaned against the glass door, blocking it, and fixed his eyes on the trio, all of whom had taken a reluctant seat.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them, each unsure exactly what it was House expected them to say.

"I cheated on you." Cameron finally blurted out, training her eyes on the table.

"What?" Chase stared breathlessly at his wife, trying for some other definition of the word 'cheated', trying to figure out how he may have misheard it.

"I slept with someone else, I-" She sighed, dropping her head into her hands, "I fell for someone else."

"You _fell_ for someone else?" He repeated the phrase slowly, turning it over in his mind. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Cameron opened her mouth, shutting it almost immediately after realizing she had no answer. She had prepared a thousand answers in the past minute, but none of them for that question. "I don't know. Are you going to leave me?"

"I don't know." A silence fell over the three, Chase staring blankly at the table, Cameron with her head buried in her hands, and Remy's horrified expression fixed on Allison's unmoving shape. "Who?"

Cameron removed her hands from her face to glance up into her lover's eyes; what she found was not reassuring. "Does it really matter? I fucked that up too."

"Is this what you wanted, House?" Fire flashed in Chase's blue eyes.

"No. To be honest, I was hoping there would be a little more yelling and maybe a little girl on girl action."

"Girl on girl action?" Chase puzzled, his eyes slowly trailing to Thirteen, who was sitting deathly silent. "You. It's you, isn't it?" His jaw dropped to the floor. "You seduced my wife?"

"To be fair, this all started before you guys were engaged." Remy threw her hands up defensively.

"That dinner party we had. Were you fucking her then? Is that what you two did while Eric and I were in the kitchen?"

"No!" Cameron interjected. "No, after you and I got engaged, we stopped."

"After you and I…" He trailed off, shaking his head angrily. "You are fucking unbelievable, you know that?"

"Are you going to leave me?" Cameron's blue eyes silently begged his forgiveness.

"I don't know. I just- I need some time." He stood, pushing silently past House out into the hospital.

"Remy-"

"Don't. How could you do that? I wasn't ready to deal with that. I'm still reeling from fucking San Francisco and you throw this at me? Jesus." Nearly in tears, Remy stood up and followed Chase's path out the door.

"Are you mad at me too?" The blonde sniffled, her watery eyes pleading with House for compassion.

He sighed. "No. But I have work to do." He pushed the door open and waved her through. As she passed, he reached out, placing his hand gently on her shoulder, glancing briefly into her eyes, then back to the floor. "Good luck."


	14. Chapter 12

Hey, everyone! Last chapter! Ahh! Anyway, this one is written in an entirely different way than the rest of the chapters. I don't know why, but this writing style has really been captivating me. I sort of have an idea for an AU story floating around in my head loosely inspired by the new season (and my major). The only thing is I'd REALLY need a beta reader, so if you're interested, comment or message me or whatever. If you guys like this style (or if you want me to go back to a more narrative, objective style), let me know. Any criticism or appreciation is very nice and if you'd like another story by me or not, well, that'd be nice to know too. Otherwise I'll just write it for my own amusement. Anyway, enjoy.

It would have been so simple.

"Don't go."

Two fucking words.

"Stay with me."

Hell, even just "Stay" would have worked. But you couldn't do it. Couldn't swallow your fucking pride and say it.

"Chase said he would take me back." It felt like I'd been standing there forever before I worked up the courage to speak, and all you had to say was

"That's great."

Is it? Is it great that it'll be his chest I wake up burrowed into? That chest that is always too broad, too solid, too rough when he goes too long without shaving it. He fucking shaves his chest, Remy. This is what you're letting me leave you for.

"I just wanted to grab some of my stuff."

I just wanted to see you.

"Go for it."

You turn and walk toward the bedroom without so much as a glimmer of a tear-induced shine in your eye, and it makes me want to break your arm just to get a reaction.

I grab my stuff and you stand in the doorway and watch, silent but for the ice clinking in your glass, mocking our idiocy. Daring me to break these self-imposed restraints and do what my body is screaming at me to do. But you just watch and sip. Watch and sip. Sip and watch. You're still mad. I can feel it. I'm not completely out of sync with you. But you've always been a mystery, and I'm tired of playing fucking Velma. I want to be Daphne; Just sit around and look pretty. No solving, no deducing, just coming along for the ride.

"Chase wants to get remarried—it'll be just us, of course—and take a second honeymoon. Give us a fresh start."

"Sounds great."

It's sarcasm. I'm not dumb. There's a pause as I wait for you to say something true. Something real. Anything.

Please.

"Bye."

I'm tired of waiting for you. Tired of wishing, hoping, praying for you.

"Wait."

I stop but don't turn. Forever passes in a millisecond. I can't fight this round right now. My dinner is threatening to make a reappearance if you don't say it. The tears are poised, in their starting positions, waiting to begin the race down my cheeks to the floor if you don't say it, my shoulders are ready to wrack with sobs, if you don't say it, I don't even know what 'it' is, necessarily, I just know I want you to say it dear got just do it, just say it, say it, say it, just…

"You forgot your mug."

Coward.

"Keep it."

It's all I can do to not break down right there in front of you, to throw my dignity at your mercy and beg at your feet. But I'm better than that. I keep telling myself, I'm better than that. I don't need to define myself by you. It was _my _choice, not yours. I was the one with the power here, and my choice was my husband.

Right?


	15. Dear, Dear Friend

Hey everyone. So, this is weird. I got an email about this story recently and realized I had forgotten I wrote it. Like, completely forgot about its existence. So, I went back and re-read it and decided to write more. I don't know why. I finished it-what?-three years ago? Anyway, writing seemed really appealing to me so I started doing it and decided I might as well post it in case it makes someone happy to read it. I haven't been super up to date on the show lately, but this fic has kind of taken on a world of its own anyway. I hope someone out there will read and enjoy this.

* * *

Cameron stared nervously at the looming building before her. At times, it had seemed beautiful, regal, even serene. But now, she was sure nothing could feel more terrifying. She glanced at her watch. She had to be in Cuddy's office in five minutes. Five minutes until the honeymoon was over and real life set back in. Steeling her nerves, she pushed open the door. What Cuddy had to say was not particularly interesting, and she was soon left with Doctor Woolley who, despite his name, was a small, thin balding man with waxy pale skin that made him seem as if he'd died long ago.

"You didn't miss too much. Plenty of car accidents, broken bones, and runny noses." He turned, smiling at her. The smile faded when he looked at her, realizing her eyes-and her mind-were across the room. "Doctor Cameron?"

The sound of her name seemed to snap her attention back to the man, who raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Great. Nothing major happened." She flashed her million dollar smile and he nodded, eyes still narrowed skeptically.

"All right. Well, I'll let you get to it, then. I have patients to see."

He brushed past her, heading to the check-in desk to end his stint as acting ER director. Cameron breathed out a generic acknowledgement and turned her mind back to what had captured her attention earlier-Remy Hadley. The woman looked just as amazing as she'd remembered. It had only been twenty days, but it had felt like a lifetime since she'd seen the brunette, who was seated sipping coffee in the cafeteria. Cameron, for the second time in just under a half hour, steeled herself and strode forward with as much confidence as she could muster.

"Is anyone sitting here?"

Remy glanced up from her newspaper, assuming another patient was attempting to hit on her, solicit free medical advice, or both. What she found instead made her heart drop.

"Um. I-No. I guess there's not." She stammered, clearing her throat and shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Great." Cameron slid into the chair across from Thirteen, who was watching her intently from under furrowed eyebrows.

"You're back already." Remy stated simply, not sure what to say or do with Cameron so suddenly in front of her again.

"Did time fly that fast without me?" Cameron attempted a playful smile.

"No, not exactly. I just sort of stopped expecting to see you around. And now..." Thirteen trailed off, motioning vaguely in her ex's direction with a wave of her hand.

"Now here I am."

"Now here you are." Thirteen nodded slowly in agreement. "Why are you here?"

Cameron shrugged. "I saw you sitting here by yourself and thought I'd say hi. It's been almost three weeks since we've seen each other."

The last time they'd seen each other had been when Cameron had walked out the door. For her remarriage to Chase, for her second honeymoon, for good. The thought struck Remy with force. She could feel the corners of her mouth being tugged downward, and attempted to cover it by taking a sip of her coffee.

Cameron sighed, seeing the other woman upset was difficult. Knowing she was the cause of that pain made it a million times worse. Without thinking, she reached her hand out to cover Remy's, her blue eyes glistening with concern. Thirteen looked up urgently, meeting Cameron's gaze, and she pulled her hand away quickly.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Remy silenced her with a wave of her hand, only her labored breathing betraying her fear. "It's fine. You don't have to apologize."

"Look, Remy. I want us to be civil with one another. I don't want to feel weird being around you. We don't have to be friends, but I don't want to hate each other or pretend you don't exist. Just being without you these past few weeks has been..." She trailed off, realizing how ill-advised continuing would be. "I just want us to be friendly with one another."

Remy shook her head slowly, her fingers playing with the rim of her coffee cup. "You are the single most frustrating person I know." She glanced up at the other woman. "Did you know that?

"I doubt that." Cameron attempted to force a smile. "After all, you work for House."

Thirteen shifted her weight to lean against the wall next to her chair. "House is easy compared to you. He plays games. There's a winner and a loser and there's a way to fight back. A way to play the game." Thirteen raised her eyes to meet Allison's. "With you, I want you more every time you hurt me because you are so disgustingly caring and sweet and perfect. You break my heart and then you just swoop back in and steal it again." There was a silence as they simply stared at each other. Cameron trying to tell if Thirteen was angry with her, Thirteen trying to decipher what was going through Cameron's head.

Finally, Cameron broke the silence. "I never meant to break your heart."

"I know."

"Cameron!" Foreman yelled from across the cafeteria. "So good to see you!" He was closer now, and dropped into the seat in between the two women. "How was Hawaii?" He took a bite of his sandwich, the smile not faltering at all as he chewed.

"It was great. We stayed for a couple weeks in Honolulu, and then camped on the beach in Waikiki. But I'm sure you've heard all about it from Chase already."

Foreman chuckled. "Nah. You can never trust men to tell the truth about their honeymoons. All they'll say is they saw more of the ceiling than the beach!"

Cameron managed a laugh, and Remy pushed her muffin away from her, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

"Is something wrong, Thirteen?" Foreman's face was suddenly full of concern. "Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm fine. I just have to get going. It was nice seeing you, Dr. Cameron. I'm glad you had fun on your honeymoon." She stood, making sure she was breathing slowly and evenly as she walked away. She stopped at the doorway; the urge to turn and steal one last look at the woman she'd fallen for overtaking her. She turned to find her gray eyes connecting with clear blue-Cameron had been watching her. Remy quickly turned around and walked as quickly as she could out of the room.


	16. These Hands Are Too Shaky to Hold

"Dr. Hadley, can I speak with you?"

Thirteen glanced up from the crossword in her hand to find a blonde surgeon lingering above her in the differential room.

"Go for it." She replied, turning her attention back to the newspaper.

"I mean, in private." He raised his eyebrows, his eyes shining with emotion. "Please."

Remy wasn't sure what it was about her that made people feel they had to beg for simple requests, but it was something she'd run into quite a bit at this hospital. Perhaps it was her reputation as a cold, uncaring person; though, thanks to Cameron, that perception was slowly slipping away from her. She nodded, wordlessly following Chase down to the courtyard, where he motioned for her to take a seat.

"Look, Chase, if you asked me here to yell at me, you're wasting your-"

"I'm not going to yell at you." He interrupted, putting his hands up defensively. He shook his head, a lock of his blonde hair falling into his face. "Look, I'm not a bad guy."

"I never said you were. But you're angry."

"No, I'm not angry with you. I'm hurt. By Cameron. Not by you." Thirteen raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Look, yes. I was really upset with you at first, but I thought about it, and I get it."

"What do you get, Chase?" Remy was beginning to feel uneasy with the direction of this conversation.

"I get her appeal. Obviously. You know, when I first met her, I wasn't interested. I mean, yeah. She's beautiful. But… I fell for her the day she got me alone and started telling me about how women can have hour long orgasms, using that sexy, breathless voice to talk about the effects arousal has on the body." He chuckled at the memory. "She was playing naïve, but she had me hooked then, and she knew it."

Thirteen swallowed to try to remedy her dry throat, the thought of Cameron having sex with Chase while she was barely allowed to look at the woman bothered her immensely. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm going to ask you something, and I want the truth. No matter what you say, I'm not going to be upset." Chase leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and putting himself in the way of Thirteen's downcast eyes. "Is anything going on between you and Allison?"

Remy rolled her eyes. "No." He held her gaze, raising an eyebrow to urge her to continue. "We've only interacted twice since the day she told you about us. The first was when she came to tell me it was over and the two of you were getting remarried, and the other was yesterday in the cafeteria when she asked if we could be civil. No necking involved."

"So it's over?" Chase pressed, continuing their eye contact more intensely than Remy would have liked. "You're over her?"

"Completely." It was a lie, and Remy was sure it had been obvious to Chase. She flashed the most convincing smile she could muster and waited nervously for his response.

Chase leaned back in his chair, nodding slowly. "All right. Well, then I have something else to ask you."

"Oh?"

"It's our friend Todd's birthday soon. You remember him from the party?" When Thirteen nodded, he continued, "well, him and his partner Jay liked you a lot and when they heard you'd broken up with Foreman, they asked us to invite you to his party. They said they have plenty of eligible bachelors to hook you up with."

Thirteen's confusion slowly turned to amusement as she listened on. "You want me to go to a party with you, Cameron, and your friends?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're over Allison, right? And Kate's out of town so she won't be there." He laid his hands face up on the table, as if he were trying to sell it to her. "Why not?"

"Because I have no interest in being a part of your plan to punish her." Thirteen snapped back, his insistence starting to irritate her.

"I'm not doing anything to punish her. She was totally on board with the idea of you coming. Would you like to hear it from her?" He pulled his phone out and dialed before Remy could protest. "Hey, Allie. Would you mind meeting me in the courtyard? I have to talk to you about something. Great. Thanks." He hung up the phone and smiled at the woman across from him. "She'll be here in a couple minutes."

Honestly, as much as it pained her to admit it, Allison Cameron should have seen that it was a set-up from the second she'd heard the amused lilt in her husband's voice. Remy's presence alarmed her all the same. She had no idea what the two could be talking about, but something told her it wasn't idle chitchat.

"Hey, babe." She leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on her husband's lips. "What's up? You said you needed to talk to me?"

"Yeah, Dr. Hadley and I were just talking about Todd's party. She thinks I'm inviting her to punish you. I wanted her to hear from you that you're okay with it."

"Oh." Allison breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't extraordinarily excited about spending an evening with her husband and ex-lover at the same time, but if it would help Chase relax about the whole thing, it was the least she could do. And, well, maybe part of her was excited by the idea of having Remy around all night. "Yeah. Yes. Please, come. I would love it if you came."

"Great! Then it's settled." Chase stood up, grabbing his bag off the floor. "We'll see you Friday at 9."

Thirteen stared at the building in front of her. This was such a bad idea, and she knew it. Why was she doing this? She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. She knew why she was doing it. To be close to Cameron, obviously. She would do anything for that woman, and they both knew it. She took in a deep breath, wiping the perspiration off her hands onto her jeans and headed toward the door. She gave the bouncer her name, and was let inside. The place was packed full of people, a dj was presiding over a crammed dance floor, and the bar was pouring drinks as freely as possible. There was a second level that overlooked the dance floor so people could sit and watch. It was a marvel that anyone could know so many people, though Remy had remembered being told that Todd was a party promoter.

"Thirteen!" The voice was familiar, and she turned, immediately being pulled into an embrace by Jay. "How are you?!"

"I'm good, I guess." Noticing Todd lingering behind him, she added "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." Todd smiled shyly, flipping his shaggy brown hair out of his face. "I'm sorry about your boyfriend."

"No big deal." Remy shrugged, Jay had finally let go of her. "We were sort of just wasting time together anyway."

Todd and Jay nodded in unison in a way only couples can. Todd's muscled arm reached out and wrapped itself around Thirteen's shoulders. "I've been meaning to talk to you. Wanna grab a booth?" It was a silly question, given the fact that Todd looked like he lived in a gym, and the woman in his arms' idea of a workout was fucking standing up. There was probably no way Remy could have broken from his embrace even if she wanted to. Still, she nodded as he pulled her over to a booth that had been designated for him on the second floor.

"So. How'd they convince you to come?"

"I like you guys, why wouldn't I come?" Thirteen responded, putting on her best innocent look.

"Right. I'm sure you were just champing at the bit to get to spend the night watching your ex play happy couple with her new husband. Again."

Thirteen's eyes widened slightly. "She told you?"

"Sort of." He laughed, "I figured it out at that dinner party, got her drunk and she confessed. She's horrible at keeping secrets—especially from me." When Thirteen didn't respond, he added "though you seem to be particularly good at keeping them. From everybody."

"I don't have any secrets." She responded, taking a sip of a drink she'd grabbed off a cocktail waiter's tray.

"Bullshit. We all have secrets. C'mere." He motioned for her to follow him and they went and stood at the railing overlooking the dance floor. "You're in love with that woman." He pointed down to Cameron dancing and laughing with Jay. "I certainly wouldn't have known it if she hadn't told me."

"She didn't want anyone to know. I was just being respectful." Thirteen fired back, suddenly beginning to feel defensive.

"Okay. How about the fact that you're queer. Nobody except for Allison knew that."

"None of you needed to know that."

"Exactly!" Todd shouted suddenly, perking up and grabbing her shoulders. "That's exactly it! Everybody is on a need-to-know basis with you. You don't volunteer information, people have to extract it from you!"

Remy peeled his hands off her shoulders, turning back to look over the railing. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you don't plan on making any real connections with other people."

Thirteen took a sip of her drink as she thought about his words. "I've tried connecting with people, opening up, expecting things." She waved her hand dismissively toward Cameron now dancing with Chase. "See how well that worked out?"

"Yeah. I had Allison crying on my shoulder for hours the other night because she loved you so much and she felt like you let her leave. I have never seen her love anyone as hard as she loves you." His green eyes were practically burning holes into the side of her head with the intensity of their stare, but she ignored them, continuing to watch the blonde doctors beneath her dance.

"I didn't let her leave. She chose someone else. Her husband, no less, who she loves." She moved to walk away, but Todd grabbed her arm.

"Yes, she loves Chase. But there are a lot of different kinds of love. She loves Chase because he was there, and it's because she loves him that she can't let go of him. In her head she thinks he's done nothing to deserve being hurt, which is true. But she never meant to be with him forever. What was the expression you used? Wasting time? Well, that's what she was doing. And now that she's found someone she wouldn't be wasting time with, it's too hard for her to admit that that's what she was doing with Chase, because it would crush him." Todd was breathing as heavily as if he'd just confessed his love for the woman in front of him, as opposed to his friend's love. Clearly, Cameron's passion had swept him away as well.

"She told you all this?"

"No. Allison doesn't know all this. We never know ourselves as well as our friends do." When Thirteen frowned, he added "I've known her since college. I've been with her through a lot, okay? And I know she loves you with a passion I haven't seen in her personal life in years."

-Cameron wasn't looking for Thirteen, exactly. She was more keeping an eye out every now and then. She sipped her martini and glanced around again, still hoping to meet those familiar gray-blue eyes, but finding nothing. She was starting to think she wasn't going to come. She sighed and placed her chin on her hand.

"Hey beautiful!" A body slid into the stool next to her, and she perked up, relaxing again when she realized it was Chase.

"Hey, babe."

He leaned in and kissed her, a little too deeply and roughly than she would have liked. "Dance with me."

He pulled her out to the dance floor, where the beat of the music was pulsing quickly and a male voice was pounding out a refrain: _I know you're gonna want me. But when you want me, it might be a different story. _Chase leaned in and kissed her again, prompting her to turn around and grind her back into him so that she could take a few breaths and another look for Thirteen. Nothing. She turned back around, trying to let go of the thought of Remy Hadley and have a good time. Unfortunately, luck had other plans for her as someone crashed into her from behind. She glanced back to see what had happened to find a young woman with short, choppy dyed red hair holdkg up a hand in apology. It was the person behind her, however, that caught Cameron's eye. Remy smirked, waving slightly, before being grabbed by her dance partner into an embrace.

It was more difficult than Allison had expected, watching Thirteen dance with somebody else. The unnamed redhead was running her hands all over Remy's body, and the brunette was certainly making no move to stop her. Cameron turned around again, grinding herself roughly against Chase to get a better view of her ex, who she was pleased to find had been staring at her. She dropped her body down to the ground and slowly rose back up Chase's body, biting her lip roughly as she did so. When she was standing back up again, she threw her head back onto Chase's shoulder, swaying her hips as seductively as she could against him. He took the opportunity to kiss her neck, meanwhile running his hands over her stomach and hips. When Cameron pulled away and turned around, she glimpsed Remy heading away from the dance floor.

"I have to go to the bathroom." She smiled, running her thumb along Chase's lips. "Don't go anywhere."

She pushed the bathroom door open to find Remy leaning on the counter, water dripping down over her shut eyelids, mixing with the sweat on her neck and chest. Cameron licked her lips, following a droplet as it found its way down her shirt. Luckily, the vast majority of people at the party were men and the women's room was empty save for the two of them. She pressed her body tightly up against Remy's back, her hands grasping Thirteen's hips, her lips brushing gently against her shoulder. She felt the other woman's body tense up, but there was no other acknowledgement of the kiss. Cameron trailed more up Thirteen's neck, stopping to leave barely-there caresses behind the other woman's ear. This elicited the response Cameron had been looking for.

"Oh, Allison." Remy whimpered, shaking her head. "You have to stop. We can't do this." There were tears in her eyes, though the blonde didn't have the sobriety to notice.

"Why? You don't like me anymore?" Cameron whispered into her ear, dragging her fingers across Remy's stomach, toying with the waist of the brunette's jeans. "You don't like the way I touch you anymore? You don't dream about fucking me anymore?"

"You know that's not it." Thirteen was trying to breathe evenly, but the other woman's presence was intoxicating and she found herself trembling at the feel of her fingertips. "You made your choice, Allison."

"Did I?" Cameron brought her hand back up to brush against her lover's nipple.

"Oh, fuck."

"Then why am I here with you?"

Thirteen turned in her arms, tears mingling with the water still lingering on her face. "Allison, I can't. I can't do this." She pushed the blonde away from her and left the club to head toward her house. She decided to walk. It would be about an hour long walk, but she decided it might be a good way to cool down.

When she got home, she glanced at her phone. She had felt it vibrate in her pocket, but didn't want to look until she was firmly in her apartment. She wasn't positive she could've withstood Cameron's charm if she had.

_I wish you were here with me._

Remy bit her lip, wondering whether to respond. Eventually, she settled on as neutral a response as she could muster.

_You shouldn't be texting me. What if your husband sees?_

It didn't take long for her to receive a response.

_He's passed out in the other room. He won't be up until at least noon tomorrow._

Thirteen closed the phone, deciding it was best not to engage Cameron right now, and put it on her nightstand. She crawled into bed to begin her long night of staring at the ceiling when her phone vibrated again.

_I miss your lips._

She sighed, shutting her eyes in a vain attempt to block out the feelings that were ripping through her body. She was somehow simultaneously hurt, anxious, happy, depressed, and incredibly turned on by the words on the tiny screen in front of her.

_They miss you too._

She put the phone down, somewhat in disbelief she had fallen into this trap.

An hour passed, and her phone had fallen silent. Remy sighed, leaning back against the headboard. It had been stupid to think that Cameron legitimately missed being with her. Of course, it was all a game, all about power, all-Her thoughts were interrupted by knocking at her door. Cautiously, she got out of bed to answer it. What she found took her breath away.

"Cameron, what are you doing here?"


	17. Drawing the Story

"Take me home."

Chase looked up from his conversation to identify the source of the interruption.

"What?"

Cameron leaned down, placing her lips so that they brushed against his ear as she spoke.

"Take me home. Now."

Chase pulled away to look at her for a second, wondering where this sudden sense of urgency had come from. He nodded to her and excused himself from the table, immediately being dragged out into the cool night air. The second they were back at Cameron's condo (THEIR condo now, Allison had to remind herself), she dragged him to the bedroom.

"You're voracious tonight." He drawled, a grin spreading across his face as she shoved him onto the bed. "You're not on drugs again, are you?"

Allison pulled her shirt off and tossed it aside, smirking as she climbed on top of her husband. "Nope. I just want you."

She tugged on the hem of his shirt, and he lifted himself up partially so she could remove it. She started placing quick kisses on his stomach, moving up to his chest, stopping to tease certain places that elicited a reaction with her tongue. She continued upward and bit roughly into Chase's toned shoulder. The body under her didn't moan and arch into her like she'd expected; Instead, it pulled away frantically.

"Allie, what the fuck!" Chase rubbed the spot apparently made tender by her teeth. "That hurt."

Cameron pushed her blonde hair out of her face, chest still heaving in passion and surprise. "What? I've bitten you before, and it wasn't that hard."

"First of all, it was that hard. And secondly, you have _never_ bitten me before." His jaw dropped slightly as realization dawned on him. "I bet Thirteen likes to be bit, though, doesn't she?" His face was deadly serious now, his jaw set tightly and eyebrow raised.

"That's not important. This isn't about Remy, this is about you not trusting me." Cameron fired back, standing and searching for the shirt she'd thrown aside earlier. Suddenly, being naked in front of Chase felt overwhelmingly vulnerable.

"Why would I trust you, Allison? You've given me no reason to in the past six months." He yelled, now also searching for his once-forgotten shirt.

"When we got back together, we both agreed that we were going to trust each other or it wasn't going to work."

"Yeah, but that was assuming you weren't thinking about fucking Thirteen when we were together." The anger had disappeared from his voice, lending the statement the quality of seeming matter-of-fact.

"I wasn't…" She trailed off, Chase's sudden lack of anger made her defensiveness fade away as well and, without that, she didn't even believe herself anymore.

When it was clear Cameron had no intention of finishing the statement, Chase quietly pressed on. "Yes, Allie. You were."

The blonde could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks as she realized the way she was acting. She looked off to the side and let out a long, slow breath of air. "Yeah. I was." She agreed, nodding. "Robert, I'm so sorry." She finally managed to bring herself to look at her husband, only to find his eyes fixed steadily on the wall and him biting lightly on his bottom lip. Cameron knew he was trying not to cry in front of her. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch, and we can talk about it in the morning?"

"Sure." Chase's voice cracked as he spoke, even on such a clipped sentiment, and quickly turned away, heading toward the bathroom.

Allison shut her eyes for a second, silently wondering what was wrong with her. How had she and Chase gotten to this point? She snatched a pillow off the bed and detoured at the linen closet for a blanket before laying out on the couch. When had her life changed so drastically? She had fallen for people before, she was used to the feeling of thinking about someone all of the time, but she had never experienced _wanting_ to think about someone else all the time. It wasn't that Remy often popped into her head, it was that Allison went out of her way to think about the younger doctor whenever possible. She sighed, turning onto her side and shutting her eyes. Despite begging for sleep, Cameron couldn't stop the memories from earlier in the night from racing through her mind. The taste of the brunette still lingered on her lips and in her mind.

Eventually, the thoughts won out and she reached over for her cell phone.

_I wish you were here with me._

Cameron's finger hovered above the send button, wondering if she was pushing Thirteen too hard. The younger woman's reaction to her in the bathroom had been intense, both in the physical and emotional sense. The blonde remembered perfectly the magnetism between them in that moment. There was a point where Thirteen had been a mystery; Now, she wore her heart on her sleeve around Cameron, no matter how hard she tried not to. Allison pressed the button, despite also remembering how conflicted and hurt Thirteen had seemed as she walked away.

After fifteen minutes of waiting, Cameron decided to let it go. Remy didn't want to talk to her tonight, and Allison didn't blame her. Was she losing the other woman? A part of her wondered if Thirteen still thought about her all the time, still wanted her as badly as she had before. The phone vibrating broke her from her thoughts. A small grin spread across her features as she realized who the text was from.

_You shouldn't be texting me. What if your husband sees?_

Cameron's smile flipped to a frown instantly. She didn't want Remy thinking about Chase, she wanted Remy to be thinking about her.

_He's passed out in the other room. He won't be up until at least noon tomorrow._

It wasn't true, but it was easier than explaining the truth. In all honesty, Chase was on call for work starting at midnight and hadn't had anything to drink. A few minutes passed without response. "Come on, Remy. Please." She begged the silence. As much as it pained her to admit it, she was entirely under Thirteen's spell. Just thinking about the brunette's smile, her laugh, the feel of her skin beneath Cameron's fingertips made her ache for the younger woman's presence.

_I miss your lips._

It was just one last text, she promised herself. She wasn't desperate, she just needed the younger woman to know how much she hated her absence. Another vibration brought her a message back.

_They miss you too._

Cameron grinned, biting her lip. She had no idea what to say in return, but it didn't matter. Her heart beat ten times as fast as it had before. This was the first time Remy had acknowledged wanting her since the honeymoon. Her thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice in the doorway.

"Allison, will you drive me to the hospital?"

The blonde's head snapped up to examine Chase.

"Why? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She jumped up, looking him up and down for injuries.

"I'm fine." He held up his pager. "I got called into work. Apparently, there was a big car accident and they need surgeons. My car is still in the shop."

"Oh." Cameron released the breath she'd been holding. Things weren't perfect between her and Robert, but she still cared for him and didn't want him to be hurt. "You can just take my car." She turned to look for her keys.

"No. I don't want to drive right now."

Cameron furrowed her eyebrows, silently questioning his meaning.

"Just, please drive me." He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Okay."

They walked wordlessly out to the car, driving most of the way without speaking as well. Cameron glanced over a few times to find the blond man staring out the window. She could tell something was on his mind, but she was more afraid of what it may be than curious. It wasn't until the hospital complex was in sight that he spoke.

"Allie, do you love Thirteen?"

"No." Cameron cringed at her gut reaction. This whole situation had pushed her to lie, something that made her extremely uncomfortable.

"Be honest with me." His tone was calm, and his gaze intense.

There was a long pause before Cameron responded, fighting off the urge to push her previous answer. Finally, she responded as they pulled up to the entrance to the ER.

"I don't know."

It may have been busy in the hospital, but you never would have known it from the outside. Wind blew gently outside the car, rustling the trees, and the parking lot was dark with cars, the only light shining from a few scattered street lights and the large windows of the hospital, like eyes that never shut.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" He sounded genuinely interested in the answer, and his calmness unnerved Cameron.

"I mean, sometimes she's all I think about. And sometimes, I think it would never work. I can't have a future with her."

Chase nodded, dragging the words to his response out, fearing what she might say. "But you could have a future with me?"

She looked over, and for the first time noticed the man had been quietly crying. "Yes, of course."

"But you don't love me."

"Robert," she brought a hand up to caress his cheek, "you are an amazing, funny, smart, successful, beautiful, kind person. You deserve all the love in the world."

"But it can't be from you." He finished for her.

"I didn't say that." She shook her head sharply, turning to face him more fully, somehow understanding what was coming next.

"You see those qualities in me, but you don't love me. Not like someone should love their husband." Cameron attempted to protest, only to be hushed by Chase's raised hand. "I deserve someone who loves me the way I love you." After a moment of silence from his wife, he continued. "I'll start moving my stuff out tomorrow." And with that, he opened the door and exited the car, pushing through the doors of the hospital.

Allison couldn't think anything. She just sat there, facing the now empty seat, one hand resting gently on the steering wheel, the other clutching at the leather of her car seat. "So, this is it." She thought, "this is how it ends." And, with that, the tears started falling. Though it had become clear in the past little while that her relationship with Chase had not been working, though she had fallen for someone else, still she mourned its end. She grieved over the times Chase had made her laugh, made her scream, made her cry, made her smile. She grieved the loss of his supportive comments, his empathetic ear. Gone. Robert was not one to be friends with his exes. This had been what she was afraid of, losing one of her closest friends. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there when a knock on her window pulled her from her thoughts.

"Excuse me, ma'am!" The voice was muffled by the car window, despite its yelling to be heard clearly. Cameron rolled down the window, simultaneously wiping her face with the sleeve of her other arm.

"Yes?" She asked, recognizing the familiar face of one of the ER nurses.

"Oh. Doctor Cameron, I didn't realize that was you." He studied her face, the corners of his lips pulling downward. "I don't mean to pry, but…Are you okay?"

His concern was sweet. She went out of her way to treat her employees well, and in return, she had one of the happiest, most dedicated crews in the hospital.

"Yes, Jerome, I'm fine. I was just dropping Doctor Chase off. Am I in the way?"

He nodded, concern deepening on his face. She had been sitting there for twenty minutes, and Chase had been a wreck when he'd walked in, as well.

"Yeah, we just got a call-ahead from an accident and have a couple ambulances on their way. It was, like, a 10-car pileup." He explained, adding "are you sure you're okay?"

Cameron smiled, remembering how many bridges she had built in actuality, and how few she had burned. "Yes, I'm sure I'm fine. Take care of yourself tonight, and I'll see you on Monday when you get off, okay?"

He nodded and stepped back from the car. "Have a good night, Doctor Cameron."

She wasn't really sure what to do or where to go from the hospital. Home seemed like a bad idea, there was nothing there but thoughts of Robert and she was almost sure she would not be able to sleep. Most of her friends were probably passed out drunk by now, after leaving Todd's birthday party. She sighed, deciding maybe home would be best. Looking around, she noticed she'd been driving without paying attention. 14th Avenue. She shook her head. She'd been driving to Thirteen's without noticing. She crossed 14th and parked, staring up at the apartment building, not sure whether she should enter or not. Maybe this was what Remy had been feeling before walking up to her door the first night they'd had sex.

She stood at Thirteen's door, listening for any indication that the brunette was still awake. Nothing. The studio apartment was silent, and all the lights were off. But she knew she needed to do this. She knocked lightly on the door, then slightly harder when it was clear the person inside hadn't noticed. "Fuck, what if she's not here? What if she's out with someone else?"

The door swung open, revealing a sleepy-looking Remy wearing nothing but boy shorts and an a-frame. The younger woman inhaled sharply, shock spreading across her face.

"Cameron, what are you doing here?"

* * *

**So, I wanted to write Chase as a real person here. I think he often gets painted as annoying in order to justify Cameron leaving him, but I wanted there to be complexity to their relationship. But don't worry, it's going to be all Cadley after this. I promise Cameron and Thirteen aren't going to get hot and heavy with anyone except each other from this point forward (at least not in detail). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and I appreciate all of your kind words so much!**


	18. We Have A Fucking Blast

**All right, after all that Chase/Cameron in the last chapter, I figured I needed to bust out some Cadley pronto. It's not quite as polished as usual, because I wanted to just put it out there for you all to make up for it not really being there in the past couple. I want to state really quickly that I name dropped some bands here. My intention is not to promote these bands, nor is it to make myself seem cool by knowing who they are because I hate when people do that. Plot devices, people. Anyway, if you want, you can substitute "Generic angsty teenage band X" and "Punk band Y" in for them. So, without any more (probably unnecessary) further over-explaining from yours truly, the Cadley actually starts….**

**Now!**

* * *

"Cameron, what are you doing here?"

Allison suddenly felt extremely small under the other woman's gaze. What _was_ she doing there? "Can I talk to you?" Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears, and she looked down at the floor between them, knowing she couldn't hide the vulnerability on her face.

"Why should I let you in?" Thirteen was playing it cool again. She'd recovered from the shock of seeing the blonde, and the icy tinge had crept back into her voice.

"Please, Remy. I've had a bad night." Allison whispered in response, glancing up to find cold grey eyes staring back at her. Remy paused, seemingly thinking over the older doctor's request.

"I don't know who's more ridiculous," she stepped aside, clearing the way for Cameron to enter the apartment, "you for showing up here, or me for letting you in."

The blonde walked past her, mumbling a quick gratitude. She turned to find the brunette pulling her shirt off.

"What are you doing?" She snapped, eyes widening at the sight.

Thirteen threw the A-frame off to the side, stepping forward so that she was nose to nose with the blonde.

"This is why you're here, isn't it? This is our thing?" She reached up and started slowly unbuttoning Cameron's sweater. "You pursue me, I push you away, you fight with Chase, come over here saying you want to talk, we fuck, and then you go back to your life, secure in the knowledge you're making the right decision." She threw the sweater off to the side. "So, fuck the formalities, let's just get it over with."

She hooked her fingers in her underwear, beginning to tug them downwards, when Cameron's hands caught her wrists.

"No… I don't want this." Thirteen swallowed roughly, eyes batting blankly in her confusion. "Robert broke up with me, Remy. It's over with him."

After a few moments of silence, Thirteen shook her head. "What are you saying?"

"Robert asked me if I love you. And the truth is, I don't know." Allison chuckled tersely. "I barely know up from down anymore." She loosened her grip on the younger woman's wrists, which fell limply to Thirteen's sides. "But I want to find out."

The brunette's eyes were slightly narrowed as they examined the face of the woman in front of her. After it became clear Remy wasn't going to answer, Cameron pressed on.

"Can I ask you a question?"

The hard lines around Thirteen's eyes softened slightly, and she nodded, almost imperceptibly. "Sure." Her voice came out much more quietly than she had expected, and she cleared her throat in an attempt to strengthen it.

"How many dates have you gone on that haven't ended in sex?"

"What?" Remy raised an eyebrow; this was certainly a departure from the conversation they'd been having just a moment ago.

"I mean, is that all you think people want from you? Sex?"

Remy shrugged lazily. "I like sex."

"It didn't seem that way five minutes ago when you were about to fuck me even though you knew it was going to hurt you."

The brunette looked away, biting hard into the inside of her lip so Cameron couldn't see.

"I've hit a nerve?" Allison tried to peer around the brunette hair in front of her to get a glimpse of what was going on in the other woman's head., Trying to figure Remy out was like trying to solve a Rubik's cube; right when you finally figure out one side, you realize you need to change it to solve the whole puzzle. "You know what I think?"

Thirteen shook her head, still not looking at the blonde woman. "Nope, but I have a feeling you're gonna tell me."

A smile spread across Cameron's face. "I think you use sex as a way to keep people at arms' length."

"Sex is intimate. Anyone could tell you that." Remy shot back, finally turning her head back to look at Cameron.

"Physically intimate. Emotionally is all up to the people engaging in it." Cameron knew she'd won when the other woman had no response, causing the room to fall silent save for the occasional cars driving by outside. She stepped forward and grabbed Thirteen's face in her hands. "Hey." She prompted the other woman to look her in the eye. "You have treated me so well. You have been sweet and kind and understanding with me, and you deserve the same."

"Allison, come on-" The blonde silenced her with a finger to her lip.

"No. We're not going to have sex tonight."

Thirteen laughed. "So, your idea of treating me right is withholding sex?"

"No. Don't think of it as me withholding sex from you. Think of it as me earning the right to have sex with you."

"How very chivalrous." The brunette deadpanned.

"I'm serious! Touching you and being touched by you is…" Cameron's voice momentarily trailed off, and she unconsciously ran her tongue across her lips, an act that mesmerized Thirteen. "Incredible. And I want you to know that I take it very seriously."

"I believe you." Thirteen murmured, taking Cameron's face in her hands and leaning in to press her lips against the other woman's. Allison's reaction to just thinking about Remy touching her had Thirteen's skin burning for her touch.

"No." She pushed Remy away from her body gently but firmly. "I'm serious. I don't want whatever this is between us to be just about sex." She pulled away, leaving the other woman to cool off and walking over to peruse the CD and DVD collection in the corner. Thirteen groaned, running a hand through her hair before scanning the floor for her shirt.

"You have a The Cure CD?" Cameron laughed, pulling it out and showing it to the brunette.

"Who doesn't?" Thirteen pulled her now rediscovered shirt on and plopped onto the couch behind the snooping woman.

"Anyone who's not an angsty teenager." Cameron laughed, tossing it at her.

"I bought it when I was sixteen!" She threw her hands up in defense, "what do you want me to do? Throw away a perfectly good CD because it's not cool anymore?"

"Of course not." Allison replied, already on to her next find. She turned around to display a picture of a girl standing in a yard, palms facing a blue house in front of her. "Holy shit, I love this album!"

The pure excitement on her face was infectious, and Thirteen found herself chuckling at the absurdity of her choice. "You listen to Bikini Kill?" She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Duh." Cameron collapsed onto the couch beside her, "I may seem like a goody two-shoes to everyone, but I had my wild streak."

"Mmm-hmm. And how did your parents feel about that, rebel girl?"

Cameron's mouth dropped open indignantly, before slowly being replaced by a smirk as she thought. "Let's just say they weren't too happy about me singing along to such classics as 'I Like Fucking,' and 'Suck my Left One' but as long as it stayed in my room, they didn't really seem to care."

Remy shook her head. "You are just full of surprises, you know that?"

Allison nodded, adding "I know. Although, I also listened to my fair share of New Kids on the Block, Ricky Martin, N*SYNC…"

"Mmm. N*SYNC is so not punk rock." Thirteen responded matter-of-factly.

"Oh, is that so? What can I do to regain my status?" Cameron played along, grinning widely.

"You'll probably have to pierce a nipple." Remy shrugged in mock apology, earning a laugh from the blonde. She loved the way Cameron's laugh lit up her face.

"That is never going to happen." She placed her arms across her chest protectively.

"I almost expected you to tell me you used to have one." Thirteen laughed. Somehow, she couldn't help but enjoy teasing the blonde.

"Noooooo." She drew the word out as long as she could. "No. Absolutely not."

Thirteen watched her as she fell into deep thought, her brow furrowing. She wondered what the blonde was thinking about, but hesitated to ask. Things were going well between the two of them, would bringing up whatever was clearly upsetting her ruin it?

"I'm glad you came over, Allison." She'd decided on something neutral.

The words broke the blonde from her train of thought and her lips slipped into a smile. "I'm glad I came over, too."


	19. I Held on Tight and Closed my Eyes

Hey everyone, I've got another update for you, I hope you like it. School is kicking my ass right now, so I don't know if I'll be able to update as quickly as I had been in the past little while but I'll do the best I can.

* * *

Thirteen awoke to a dull ache in her right shoulder. She shifted, groaning as the ache became a throbbing pain. She opened her eyes, attempting to take in the situation she was in. It was no wonder she was sore; She was sleeping on the couch. Memories of the night before came flooding back to her: the party, the texts, Cameron showing up at her doorstep, talking and cuddling and falling asleep watching old movies on TV. Thirteen glanced up at the screen, noting that Allison must have turned it off. Suddenly, she realized a very important piece of the puzzle. She had fallen asleep cuddled on top of Cameron, and now the blonde was nowhere to be found. She wouldn't just leave without saying anything, would she? A faint sizzling noise dragged her from her worrying, and she craned her neck toward the sound. What she found put a smile on her face and her mind at ease. She hopped up from the couch and plodded over to the kitchen, wrapping her arms around the warm body she found there.

"I thought you couldn't cook." She murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the cheek of her lover.

"I can't cook the way Robert can cook, but I can do the classics." Cameron replied, leaning into the brunette's embrace.

"Mmm." Thirteen pushed up onto her tiptoes to see what was in the pan. "I don't think anyone's made me homemade pancakes before." She paused, cocking her head to the side. "Actually, I can't remember the last time I had someone cook me breakfast."

Allison laughed, nudging the other woman gently with her elbow. "It would probably help if you didn't kick them out before morning."

Remy couldn't help but smile, too. "I don't like sleeping next to people I don't trust."

"So, you trust me?" Cameron's face had become more serious now, though her eyes were still lit up with a smile.

Thirteen watched the other woman for a few seconds, trying to decipher her motives, before responding. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Good." For the first time, Cameron began noticing the other woman's presence. The way she still smelled vaguely like alcohol—though the intoxicating scent of her skin largely overpowered it—t he way her body was swaying slightly against her back, causing friction between the two of them as if they were dancing, the way Thirteen's breath felt as it came hard and fast against her lips, which were mere centimeters apart from the brunette's. The burning smell that… "Crap!"

Cameron turned back to the stove, shoving the spatula under the pancake in a vain attempt to flip it and stop it from burning. Remy laughed, separating herself from the blonde and walking backward to her bedroom, pointing toward it with her thumbs.

"I'm gonna get dressed before you burn the building down." She dropped her arms and turned around to go rifle through her dresser drawers for something presentable.

"Well, that was embarrassing." Allison muttered, turning her attention back to where it should have been before—t he pancakes.

"Hey, Al!" Thirteen's voice called from across the studio apartment.

"Yeah?" Cameron shoved the spatula under the final pancake, plopping it onto the plate and turning off the stove before turning to see what her lover wanted. Remy was wearing pants, but was now missing a shirt. Allison chuckled to herself at how much time Thirteen spent half-dressed around her. Not that anyone was complaining.

"What do you think of this shirt?" The brunette held a purple acid-washed v-neck up to her torso, looking down at it then back up at Cameron.

The older woman popped a piece of pancake into her mouth. "Mmm. I love that shirt. It drives me crazy when you wear it to work."

Thirteen's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "I've never worn this to work."

"Yes, you have. Trust me, I remember." She turned back around to finish setting up breakfast for the two of them.

"No, I haven't. I lent it to a friend and I just got it back." A smile slowly spread across her face as realization hit her. "Unless I wore it when I was competing for my job."

"That must have been it." Cameron shrugged, "I wouldn't forget a shirt like that." She placed the plates down on the table, followed by forks, butter and syrup.

"You were noticing what I was wearing back then?" Remy dropped into the chair across from the other doctor at the island that doubled as her kitchen table.

Allison kept her gaze on her pancakes, poking them with the fork as she spoke. She smiled slightly, though her cheeks were burning from embarrassment. "I guess. I just remember thinking that you were really beautiful and that House was lucky to get to be around you all the time." She glanced up slightly to gauge Thirteen's reaction to what she'd said to find the brunette smiling sweetly at her.

"Yeah, well, I thought you were pretty cute, too." She placed a piece of pancake in her mouth, grinning. "And these pancakes are amazing."

"You thought I was 'cute?'" Her eyebrow rose slightly, "what am I, a puppy?"

Thirteen couldn't help but laugh. "I thought you were hot." She leaned in, running her teeth across her bottom lip. "Sexy, even."

"You never made a move." Cameron glanced off, scratching at a piece of dirt on the countertop with her fingernail. "You barely even talked to me unless House, Taub, or Kutner were there."

Thirteen reached across the table, covering Allison's fidgeting hand with her own. "Everyone told me you were straight. And taken." Cameron still didn't meet her gaze. "Honestly, I could tell I was going to fall for you, and I didn't want to put myself through the disappointment."

The blonde nodded thoughtfully, brows furrowed. "So, what changed?" She glanced up, searching Remy's face for something, though she couldn't say what it was. "Why did you come over that night? Why did you…" Cameron trailed off, lacking the words to describe their first encounter.

Remy shrugged, "I needed somebody to talk to, and I knew you'd listen." When the blonde didn't respond, Thirteen added an incredulous laugh. "What? I didn't show up at your place to seduce you."

"So, why did you? Seduce me, I mean."

"I don't know. Why did you let me?" She fired back, suddenly feeling somewhat defensive of her actions.

The two stared at one another for a minute, neither entirely sure what to expect from the other right now.

"Because I wanted you to." Cameron finally admitted, glancing back down at the now-cold pancakes. She sighed, pushing a piece over with her fork and watching it flop into the pool of syrup on her plate.

"And that's why you pursued me? Because you wanted to?" Thirteen's defenses had dropped, but her eyes still burned into the side of the blonde head in front of her.

"Is there any other reason to do something like that?" Cameron swallowed and glanced back up at the blue-gray eyes that had been monitoring her.

"I can't think of any good ones."

A beat passed with the two of them eyeing one another from across the table. Cameron reached into her pocket, checking the time on her cell phone. "I should go." She pushed off the table. "Robert's coming by to pick up his stuff today, and I think I should be there." She walked over to the door and put her coat on, turning back to face Thirteen who hadn't moved. "I'll call you later, okay?"

Remy nodded slightly, pushing the plate away from her. "Sounds good."

* * *

Remy Hadley laid in the grass at Benjamin Franklin park, a small patch of grass near her apartment created seemingly for young professionals and college students to hit on one another and take their dogs to shit, and convince the city's residents they weren't living in the middle of a concrete behemoth. At night, though, the park cleared out and now it was just her, the trees, a warm blanket, and the noise of the traffic going by on the busy road a block or two away. Something about traffic sounds was soothing and comforting to Remy, who had grown up in a small town where everything shut down after six on a weekday and nine on a weekend. It was a constant reminder that outside of her, everything was moving and life continued. It was the same reason she was calm, lying and looking at the stars, even though it was thirty degrees and her date was a half an hour late. A rustling broke her from her musing and she craned her neck to try to distinguish the approaching figure.

"I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up." Thirteen commented, dropping her head back onto the blanket as the shape huddled itself next to her.

"Sorry, traffic sucked for some reason today." Cameron replied, glancing around at the picnic Thirteen had set up for them. She'd laid out a blanket in the park near her apartment, with another one to cover and warm them; an untouched basket sat on the opposite corner.

"Honestly, I wasn't expecting you to call me tonight." Remy let her gaze wander over to the concerned face of the blonde.

"Oh? Why's that?" Cameron reached over, grabbing the cold hand of her lover and stroking the back of it with her thumb.

Remy finally turned her head more fully to look at the blonde, eyes quickly taking in her outfit peeking out from under the blanket. "You left pretty quick this morning."

"Yeah." Cameron nodded slowly, retracting her hand so that she could fiddle with the hem of the flannel cloth covering them. "I just had a lot to think about."

Thirteen's head began to move now, mirroring the blonde's rhythmic bobbing. Her eyes furrowed as she suppressed the urge to push the issue further. "How's Chase doing?"

"He was really tired from work yesterday, so he just slept today. He's going to come by tomorrow to get his things instead." Allison kept her eyes on the blanket, not wanting Remy to pick up on her sadness, though she was sure the brunette already knew.

And it was true. Thirteen had easily noticed the bittersweet tinge in her statement. Instead of being upset or angry, however, she felt an incredible amount of pity for the other woman. She reached a hand up, stroking the side of her companion's face for a second, and waiting patiently for her to make eye contact.

"Are you cold?"

Allison smiled, she'd expected some sort of empty assurance that it would all be okay in a lame attempt to comfort her. But Remy was never what she expected her to be. "Yeah, I'm freezing."

The brunette climbed over her, grabbing a thermos from the basket along with a package of cookies.

"Oh, my god. Are those cookies?" Cameron snatched them from Thirteen, who laughed and took a swig from the thermos. "Are these homemade?"

Remy cocked an eyebrow at the blonde, she should really know better by now. "Homemade by the guy at the deli down the street. The hot chocolate was all me and Swiss Miss, though."

Allison rolled her eyes and grabbed the thermos to wash down the bite of cookie she'd just taken. "Well, both are amazing, but I don't think you get to take any credit for that."

"Mmm." Thirteen grunted, shaking her head sadly. "And here I was, thinking I was being so thoughtful."

The blonde smiled, dropping her eyes down to the blanket. "It was pretty thoughtful." She conceded, adding "I never would have thought of a winter time picnic."

Remy didn't respond, opting instead to simply smile at the woman in front of her. Suddenly, an odd thought crossed her mind.

"Wait a minute, if Chase didn't come over today, what were you doing for the past ten hours?"

Cameron exhaled heavily, eyes fixating on a tree a couple yards away. "You have to promise you won't laugh."

It was too late, though, because Thirteen was already grinning at the multitude of possibilities that were racing through her brain. "I won't."

"Promise." The blonde demanded, her eyes snapping back to watch the giggling younger doctor.

"I promise!" Her giggle was a full-on laugh now. "Just tell me."

"Fine. I was…" she looked around, making sure no one else was in earshot of their conversation. "Watching the monster truck rally on TV." She murmured quietly, hoping the other woman hadn't heard her.

"Monster trucks." Thirteen had stopped laughing, though she was barely containing it behind a lopsided smirk.

"Yes, monster trucks." Cameron rolled her eyes, falling onto her back. "Where's your cane, House?" She added, deepening her voice in an attempt to mock the other woman.

"I wasn't gonna say that." Remy held up a hand in her defense.

Cameron popped another cookie in her mouth indignantly. "You were thinking it." She glanced back over at Thirteen, jumping on top of her and brushing her hand roughly across the brunette's lips. "Wipe that smirk off your face!"

"Or what?" The younger doctor propped herself up on her elbows, forcing her lips dangerously close to Allison's. The sudden proximity sent ripples of excitement through the blonde's body, her chest tightening instantly.

Cameron's eyes examined every inch of the grey ones in front of her, and she leaned in so that they were even closer than before. "I won't kiss you for at least a month."

The words ghosted across Thirteen's lips, calling up memories of the older doctor's kisses. Now it was the brunette's turn to attempt to ignore the ache growing between her legs, ignore the urge to grind her hips against the body above her, to throw herself at the blonde's mercy. By this time, the smirk had long since left Remy's lips, leaving behind a familiar mixture of longing and stoicism. After another few seconds of absorbing the closeness of the other woman, Remy let herself fall back down onto the blanket, exhaling as if she hadn't been breathing for the past few minutes.

"You're such a sucker." Cameron hooked her thumbs into the collar of Thirteen's purple v-neck, letting her fingers splay out to rest underneath the large lapels of her black peacoat. "I never would've made it a month." She slid her fingers down so that they met at the junction of the collar—which also happened to be in between Remy's breasts, fingers brushing occasionally against her nipples—and back up, rhythmically and repeatedly.

"Allison." Thirteen breathed out her lover's name, a near-silent plea. Her body arched, almost of its own accord, her hips grinding against the denim-clad body above her. Instead of returning the gesture, however, Cameron rolled over onto her back, a good six inches away from where she'd been seconds ago. She heard a sigh come from next to her and she turned her head to take in the figure of the other woman, silhouetted save for the moonlight and the dim streetlights that filtered their way through the trees.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tease you. I just—I lost my head for a second." She stammered out, trying with difficulty to regain control over her breath.

Remy bit her lip, the sudden draft doing little to help her cool down from the incident just moments ago. The truth was she was frustrated; more so than she'd have liked to admit. She hadn't slept with anyone in months. As much as she wanted to—hell, as much as she _tried_, none of them compared to Allison.

"It's okay." She managed, though she would've given anything to still have the blonde on top of her. "I missed this."

"Missed what?"

"You can turn me on with a look, Allison." She scoffed at her own stupidity, covering her eyes with her hand. "Hell, you could probably turn me on with a handshake." Her hand dropped back to her side so that she could see the other woman. "That probably sounds ridiculous."

Cameron grinned, biting her lower lip. "Not at all. I think about your lips all the time. And your fingers?" She slowly shook her head, chuckling at the burning just thinking about those hands started in the pit of her stomach. "Don't even get me started." She grabbed one of her lover's cold hands, bringing it to her lips in a meaningful kiss. She moved it to rest on her cheek, sighing into the touch when the fingers began to caress the skin on her face.

"Then why are we waiting?" Thirteen slid closer to Cameron so that their bodies were pressed together. "This is torture." She tentatively moved closer, her eyes searching Allison's for any sign of rejection.

"I don't want this to be just about sex." Cameron responded, though she felt her willpower losing the war with her body. In one swift movement, she was standing. "I should go." She turned to leave, but a hand grasped at her pant leg.

"No. Please, don't leave." Remy's heart started beating even faster than before, if that was possible, and she swallowed in an attempt to suppress the panic causing her body to tremble. Every time the blonde left, she found herself afraid it was the last chance they'd have to be close to one another. "I don't want you to go."

Cameron glanced back over her shoulder at the younger doctor, who had prostrated herself in her attempt to keep her from leaving.

"Please." Thirteen repeated. "No more talk about sex, I promise."


	20. I Belong to You

Hello, dear readers. This chapter isn't as far along or as lengthy as I wanted it to be, but I figured the least I could do would be to post this up because I'm going to be swamped in school and work and family the next couple of weeks. So, think of this as my Thanksgiving present, because I'm thankful for this website and all of you who write so wonderfully and read so lovingly, and occasionally feel moved enough to share your thoughts and feelings. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy.

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Cameron hesitated, knowing she'd be unable to continue to resist Thirteen's advances, but also finding she didn't really want to anymore. She sat cross-legged on the blanket, interesting herself in flicking pieces of grass from it, while Remy fell back onto her knees across from her. Silence lingered in the air, smothering any words Remy may have said in its thickness though she was scrambling desperately to think of a way to restart the conversation.

"So, which truck is your favorite?" She cleared her throat, watching Cameron though her head was turned to look slightly past her. Allison didn't respond, save for her eyebrows furrowing together. "Mine is the Crashmaster."

Cameron's eyebrows relaxed, instead sliding upward, seemingly pulling the rest of her face with it as the corners of her lips tugged upward. "I thought you didn't like monster trucks?"

Thirteen rolled her eyes, fighting a smile herself. "I didn't say that. I said I was surprised you liked them." Her smile was full-blown now, having lost the battle to contain it. "I work for House, and it's better than General Hospital."

"Towasaurus Wrex." Allison's grin wasn't as uninhibited as Remy's, but it was definitely there, and both of them relaxed into the sudden ease of the moment

"Pfft."Remy waved her hand listlessly in the air. "Towasaurus Rex's driver is a bum. He couldn't smash a Ryder wagon."

Cameron laughed, the sound swallowed by the dead quiet of the late evening hours. The comfort of the moment remained, though the pair found themselves once again in silence. Cameron reached a hand into her pocket, fingering the box inside, and letting out a slow breath.

"I got you something."She looked up, meeting Thirteen's gaze. "A gift." She pulled the small white box out of her pocket and handed it over to Remy's waiting hands.

"You really didn't have to get me anything, Allison." Her mouth hung open slightly, and she ran a finger across the top of the small cardboard box. She gently removed the lid and placed it on the blanket. A mixture of emotions played across her face: furrowed eyebrows, a sly smile, and flared nostrils. "A key?" Thirteen pulled the small silver key, attached to a chain of the same color, from the box.

"Yeah." Cameron exhaled nervously, moving to sit next to Thirteen so she could look at the necklace with her. "It's to my place. I want you to know you can come by anytime."

Remy smiled, shaking her head slightly. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, I know it's cheesy." Cameron looked down at her hands. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea. Maybe she was moving too fast.

"No. It's great. You're great." Thirteen placed a hand on Allison's cheek, urging her gaze upward. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The piercing cold of the New Jersey winter had begun to be punctuated by sleet, small raindrops that left sopping wet snowflakes on the faces and jackets of Cameron and Thirteen as they meandered through the streets. When the precipitation had started, the pair decided it was about time for them to head home. Allison's head was covered by a hood, while Remy's remained open to the elements, small pieces of frost sticking in the wet brown mass of her hair.

"I hate sleet." It was Remy who eventually broke the silence between them. The weather wasn't usually her favorite conversation topic, but she had resorted to it when it was clear their comfortable silence had droned on a bit too long. "I wish it would just choose already. Is it rain or is it snow?" The last phrase was technically a question but it came out sounding more definitive.

Cameron hid a faint smile behind her hood. "That's ironic coming from you."

Thirteen's brow furrowed and she peered around the material blocking her view of Cameron's face. "Why? It's not like I write for Sleet Lover's Quarterly."

This earned a laugh from her companion. "No! I mean, that's what people say about you."

Remy's jaw dropped open in a soundless "oh."

"All the gossip I hear about you ends with someone saying 'well, I think she should just choose already and stop teasing all those poor boys.'" Cameron added warily, unsure of how comfortable Remy was about hearing such unfiltered opinions.

"Poor boys? What about poor girls?" Remy asked, slowing as they neared her apartment, wanting to drag out their date for as long as possible.

Cameron shrugged and slowed to match the new pace Thirteen had set. "They just assume you're gay, I guess. I mean, in the man category you've got Foreman," Allison raised a hand to represent the 'category,' "and in the woman category there's that woman who came into the ER with you," she raised her other hand to match the 'men' hand, "and then there's all the women people assume you've slept with." She raised her hand above her head while keeping the other at waist level.

Remy nodded slightly, stopping at her porch. "Well, do they at least think I'm good in bed?" She asked, glancing up at Cameron, who had dropped her hands.

Allison laughed. "Oh, yeah. They assume you're great in bed." Cameron smiled wistfully, looking out from under the eaves of Remy's building at the sleet falling all around their dry oasis. "And they're right." She glanced back up at Remy to see a giant grin gracing her beautiful lips.

"Allison Cameron, are you saying I'm a good lover?" Thirteen took a step closer, grabbing onto Cameron's belt loop and tugging her forward lightly.

"No," Cameron laughed, allowing herself to be pulled into the body in front of her. "I'm saying you're an amazing, mind-blowing lover."

Thirteen felt a blush rise to her cheeks, and the muscles burned with fatigue as she grinned yet again. She fixed her eyes onto Cameron's shoulder, bringing her hand up to wipe the wetness from it. "Thanks for going out with me tonight." She glanced back up into the blue eyes watching her. "I had a great time."

Cameron's smile was simple, one of being content rather than elated. "I had a great time, too. I'm sorry I was so weird today." She shook her head. "I don't know what got into me."

"You have every reason to be stressed and weird right now, Allison." Remy placed a comforting hand on Cameron's cheek."Don't worry about it."

"Remy?" Allison peered up at Thirteen from under her eyelashes, her hand toying with the key now hanging from Remy's neck.

"Allison?" Thirteen mirrored her tone, a corner of her mouth pulling upward into a half smile.

"I'd really like to—I mean, I had a lot of fun, and—" Cameron glanced up at her companion, who had kept the smile, but added a quirked eyebrow. Her nervousness was churning the acid in her stomach and making her feel like she could throw up at any second. "Could I kiss you?"

Remy's half smile turned into a full-blown smirk and she nodded. "I'd really like that."

Cameron leant in slowly, lingering to absorb the feeling of Thirteen's breath against her cold face. Their lips pressed together softly, moving slightly against one another as if it was the first time they'd touched. Allison was the one to break apart, her rapid breath creating clouds of fog in the air

"I should go." She hadn't meant them to, but her words came out as a whisper.

Thirteen just nodded, pulling her keys out of her pocket. "Good night, Allison."

"Good night."

Cameron turned and began to walk away, and Remy placed her keys in the front door, hesitating slightly as she replayed the feeling of Cameron's lips on hers again. She turned suddenly, forgetting her keys in the door, and scanned the sidewalk.

"Allison, wait!" She barely had to speak before lips were pressed tightly against hers, her body shoved roughly against the door behind her.

This time the embrace was more passionate, more needing. Every time Thirteen's lips opened, just for a split second, Allison's tongue would slip in to tease the tip of Remy's. Cameron's teeth nipped at Thirteen's lower lip, her tongue coming out to soothe the flesh instantly. Allison had always known how to tease Remy, and this time was no different. She could feel her body responding, radiating pleasure out of every inch of her skin.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Cameron had pulled away just long enough to ask the question, resting her forehead against Remy's and fighting the urge to taste her lips again.

Thirteen shook her head. "I actually—I'm hanging out with a friend. He's actually kind of, um, a friends with benefit kind of…" she trailed off, doing her best to simultaneously string together a coherent sentence and gauge Cameron's reaction while so close to her. "You know what? I'll just cancel."

"No." Allison's response was authoritative and clear. "No." She repeated, slightly softer. "Don't cancel." She placed a peck to Thirteen's lips. "Go out with him, fuck him, do whatever you want." Her fingers slid down from Remy's shoulders down her back to grab the flesh of her ass. "But remember who you belong to." Remy's breathing hitched and she laughed at her own reactions to Cameron's touches. "Okay?"

"Okay." Thirteen's response was barely audible above the pounding of the sleet on the pavement around them.

"Good. I'll see you Monday, then?"

"Yeah."


	21. You'd Think The World Was Ending

A/N: Merry Christmas (if you're into that sort of thing). I'm your queer santa claus, bringing angst to all the good little children of fanfictiondom. Anyway, I'm sorry for the ridiculously long time since posting, I just needed a second to... de-stress. I should be posting mostly regularly now. Thank you everyone for the reviews! I'm so glad you're liking it AND you helped me break 100 reviews! I am ridiculously excited about this. Keep up the good work.

* * *

For the second time in a year, Cameron found herself shocked at the sight in her doorway. Thirteen stood there, breathtaking in her clothes that somehow knew how to hug every curve perfectly, hands holding the doorframe.

"Remy, what are you doing here?" Allison took a step forward and shut the door behind her, forcing Thirteen to take a step back to accommodate her.

"My friend was over and he was kissing me and we were getting naked," Thirteen launched into the speech she'd rehearsed in her head a million times, though the way Cameron glanced nervously back at her door made her feel that it wasn't as good as she'd initially thought, "and all of a sudden, I just thought 'why am I here?'" She took Cameron's cheeks tenderly in her hands, forcing the fidgeting blue eyes to rest on her own. "And I realized what I really wanted was to be here, kissing you." She paused, letting her eyes search the labyrinth of Cameron's irises. "Can I kiss you? I'd give anything to be able to kiss you right now." She exhaled, still waiting, searching for a reaction.

"Remy, now's really not a good time." Allison grabbed Thirteen's wrists, moving the hands away from her face. "I'm sorry."

"Allison?" A muffled, unfamiliar voice called from the other side of the door.

"Be there in a minute!" She shouted back.

But it wasn't that easy, it's never that easy. The door swung open, revealing a short, thin brunette with striking blue eyes. "Allison, don't be rude. Who's your friend?"

Remy's mouth hung open slightly as she glanced between the two women. The brunette stood with hands on her hips, head cocked slightly to the side. Cameron was staring at the ground, chest rising and falling rapidly, betraying the panic that she managed to hide from her face.

"Thirteen." Remy reached a hand out to the woman, meeting her familiar eyes.

"Oh, honey. I don't do nicknames or handshakes with Allie's friends." She pulled Thirteen into her arms for a surprisingly tight hug. "What's your real name?" She pulled back but stayed closer to Remy, keeping a hand on her shoulder.

"Remy." Thirteen managed to choke out, still taken aback by the swift embrace.

"What a beautiful name for such a beautiful young woman." Her hand came up to caress Remy's face. "I'm Allison's mom, Debbie."

"Nice to meet you." Thirteen shot a sideways glance at Cameron, who was watching with bated breath.

"Likewise. We were just about to go out for some late dinner. You're coming with." She turned to yell into the house. "Roger! John! Get your coats, we're leaving now. And Remy's joining us!"

It was an uncomfortable ride to the bistro Allison's family had chosen, with Remy ending up sandwiched between John on one side and Debbie on the other. John's hand had somehow managed to find its way to Remy's thigh, and his thumb was stroking the denim seemingly absentmindedly. On the other side, Debbie was pelting Thirteen with questions, and it was getting harder and harder to evade giving answers. Cameron and Roger sat quietly up front, chiming in when addressed by Debbie, who was commanding the attention of everyone in the car. Finally, they pulled up to the bistro and Remy hastily scrambled away from John's grasp and into the restaurant, making sure she got to sit next to Allison this time.

Things seemed to take a turn for the better from there, the conversation became less focused on Thirteen's past and more on her present. She trotted out her arsenal of House stories, with Allison chiming in with her own or adding to Remy's.

"No. I swear to you. True story. He had me and my colleague dig up a guy's grave." She leaned forward across the table like she was going to tell a secret. "Can you imagine? All these people, tops of their classes in med school, renowned in their fields, digging up a grave." She leaned back, shaking her head slightly.

"Yeah," Cameron added, stifling her laughter, "imagine how terrifying it was for the rest of the staff when the group of you walked in, covered head-to-toe in mud like kids coming in off the playground."

"Hey." A foreign voice interrupted the conversation, its owner placing a hand on Thirteen's shoulder. "Remember me?"

Thirteen glanced up, squinting slightly at the woman in front of her. "Um, honestly? No." She breathed out the last word, knowing these things never went well.

"Were you really that drunk?" She leaned down, purring into Remy's ear. "Maybe you need a reminder?" The hand started to slip downward from her shoulder, but Thirteen's own snapped up to grab it.

"Let's go talk over here." She stood, attempting to lead the woman away from their table and resolve the issue quietly far away from Allison and her family.

The mystery woman stayed glued to the spot. "Why? Is that your girlfriend?" She raised both eyebrows at Thirteen, retracting her arm to cross over her chest. "She's slept with half the town, you know." She shot at Cameron, who rubbed her face with her hands.

"I know." Allison murmured, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Seriously? Okay, look. She's not my girlfriend. She's a friend and a colleague from work." Remy pulled harder on the woman's arm, managing to move her toward the restrooms slightly.

"Oh, taking me to the bathrooms, are you? You're such a whore." The woman teased, laughing at the chaos she'd unleashed in Thirteen's life.

"Don't talk to her like that!" John stood, making his way over to the pair.

"John, I have it under control." Thirteen's eyes widened when she realized the man was going to interfere. And just when she'd gotten this woman mostly out of earshot.

"No. You don't talk to a lady like that." John stood firmly in between the two women, staring down the mystery woman. "Now, get out of here and let us eat in peace."

"Who are you, Rock Hudson?" She murmured, rolling her eyes. Then adding, "she's definitely not a lady." She turned to walk away, but stopped suddenly, locking eyes with John once again. "What did she do? Go on a date with you? Fuck you?"

John fidgeted under the woman's gaze. "We kissed."

"Well, she and I did a lot more than kiss, and look where that got me. She doesn't even remember my name. Give it up, she's never gonna settle. Especially not for a boy like you." She finally returned to her table across the bistro, leaving Thirteen and the Camerons to absorb everything that had just happened.

Allison was the first person to speak, looking up at Thirteen with tears close to toppling out of her eyes. "You kissed my brother?"

Thirteen exhaled, running a hand through her thick hair. "I should probably go." She reached down and grabbed her coat off the chair. "Thanks for inviting me. It was nice to meet you all." She turned and walked out briskly, pulling her coat on just before pushing open the door.

"Remy!" Cameron had run out after her, now holding herself in the cold of the New Jersey winter.

Thirteen turned, taking in the sight of Allison shivering in front of her as she approached.

"Remy, I—what just happened?" She looked up into Thirteen's eyes, begging for an answer that would make all of that make sense, something she could bring back to her parents and make it all better.

"That was my life, Allison. That was the decisions I've made." Thirteen snapped, staring at the snow on the sidewalk, kicking at some of it with her foot. "This is what you're getting involved with." Her voice faltered and she raised her arms slightly and let them fall back to her sides.

"Maybe this was a bad idea, then." Cameron whispered with a quiet intensity Remy had rarely seen in her.

"Maybe it was." Thirteen agreed, crossing her arms.

Allison nodded slowly, pulling her arms tighter around her. "Goodbye, Remy." She turned without waiting for a response, disappearing back into the restaurant.

* * *

Thirteen was sitting outside at the bus stop, waiting patiently in the gentle snowfall for her bus to arrive. Driving would've been her first choice, but her car was at a club, and the bus went right by her one night stand's house. She drew her coat tighter around her body, shivering in the cold that was seeping into her bones. Or maybe it was the other way around. Was this all she was ever going to be? Hunter, predator, conqueror? Cold from the inside out. She let out a shuddering breath, closing her eyes and letting her thoughts drift to Allison. She was vaguely aware of a car pulling up next to her, the quiet whirring of an electric window lowering itself.

"Need a ride?" Chase leaned over to look at her through the passenger's side window.

"No, I'm good." Thirteen replied, opening her eyes and giving him a slight wave.

"Oh, come on. You'll catch your death out here." He called back, raising his eyebrows at the stubborn woman.

"The bus will be here any minute." She replied, smiling as pleasantly as she could muster.

He rolled his eyes. "Get in the car, Thirteen. I'm trying to extend the olive branch here. Please."

"No, thank you." She declined again, glancing down the road to look for the bus.

"All right, well. What if I told you the bus isn't coming?"

"What?" Thirteen's eyes snapped back to Chase's, full of shock and panic.

"Yeah, the 166 is on snow route so it can avoid that nasty hill on Cherry. It goes up Graham instead. Trust me, I live right near here." He offered an apologetic smile. "Just get in the car."

Thirteen obliged, knowing a cab would take too long at this point, and got into the vehicle. She instantly reached out to warm her bare hands on the heater.

"Maybe we're not so different, after all." Chase quipped, stealing a glance at his companion.

Thirteen sighed, knowing he would continue whether she prompted him to or not. "Why's that, Dr. Chase?" She glanced out the window, watching the houses pass by single-file, the monotonous brick and tan occasionally interrupted with brightly colored siding.

"We're both a sucker for a smart woman with a pair of beautiful blue eyes." He smirked, shaking his head at both of their stupidity.

Remy just chuckled, leaning her temple against the glass. Allison. She _was_ a sucker for those beautiful eyes, every time. But that was over now. Her worst nightmare had come true: Allison had realized what a mistake being with her had been.

"You look like you had a rough night." Chase tried again for conversation, taking occasional sidelong glances at Thirteen.

"Thanks. You look like shit, too." She chuckled back wryly, finally looking over at him.

"No, that's not what I mean. It's just…" He sighed, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, "she left me for you and you obviously slept over at a stranger's house. So…" The sentiment hung in the air around them, thick and suffocating. "Are you okay?"

Thirteen took in his facial expression, full of concern that seemed genuine enough, though if she were happy with Cameron she was sure he would not have been quite as sympathetic.

"Peachy."

They pulled into the parking lot, and Thirteen immediately got out, tossing a small 'thanks' at the man before heading toward the doors.

* * *

Cameron had been sitting outside the doors to the hospital for 15 minutes now, knowing there was no way Remy would be there earlier than that. She glanced down at her watch, noting how close it was getting to the start of both of their shifts. Allison was starting to worry that she'd called in sick when she spotted her walking in from the parking lot. She stood abruptly, feeling her heart flutter at seeing the other woman again.

"Remy." She managed to speak when Thirteen had come to a stop in front of her.

"Allison." Her tone was unreadable, detached but not mocking or cold.

Cameron pulled her tightly against her, missing the feel of their bodies together already. She inhaled deeply, smelling… flowers? Remy always smelled earthy, not sweet. She pulled away, knitting her brows and searching Remy for answers.

"You're wearing the same clothes as last night, and you smell different." She said it as if saying it out loud would help her realize some big possibility she hadn't considered before.

Remy stared blankly at her for a second, glancing down at her own clothes as realization washed over her.

"You slept with someone else last night? What happened to 'No one else compares to you'?" Cameron snapped, her voice rising as the memories crashed against her consciousness. "Did you really not fuck your friend last night, or was he just not enough? Thought you could use me for dessert?"

Thirteen shook her head, holding her hands up. "No. It's not like that. Allison, you have to believe me." She grabbed the blonde's wrists in an attempt to calm her, but Cameron tugged them away violently.

"Don't touch me." She shrugged aggressively at Thirteen, holding eye contact with pleading gray. "What is this to you, huh?" Her voice was hushed now to avoid attracting the attention of their colleagues. "Is this some mind game? An experiment? Are you having fun?"

"No. Allison, please." She stressed the words, but had nothing to back them up. She had fucked up hard and she knew it. "I thought we were over. You told me to have sex with my friend last night. We were never exclusive-hell, we were never even dating. That's the way you wanted it, remember?" Her thoughts had gained traction and she ended the sentence with a great deal more confidence than she'd began it with.

"Well, well, well." House's grisly voice chimed in loudly from the doorframe and he started limping over to the pair. "If it isn't my two favorite archetypes: Slutty Bisexual and Woman-in-a-man's-world-who-has-to-somehow-maintain-her-compassionate-feminine-nature." He looked at the two alternately as he reached their stereotype, grinning at them zealously.

"Now's not a great time, Insufferable Tortured Genius." Thirteen shot back.

"Actually it is. You're late." He nodded with his head toward the door and started limping back, stopping and turning when he realized Remy wasn't following. "Come on, you can sweet talk Cameron later. Trust me, she holds torches for us tortured types for a long time." He winked exaggeratedly at Cameron and continued toward the building.

Thirteen bit her lip as she watched him walk away, taking a final glance at Cameron before following her boss inside.

* * *

"Something troubling you, Dr. Cameron?" Wilson came up beside her, pulling the coffeemaker from the machine and pouring it into his "world's best doctor" mug.

Allison jumped slightly, turning to Wilson, with an uneasy smile. "No, why would you say that?"

Wilson brought the cup to his lips and took a small sip, swishing the coffee around in his mouth before swallowing it. "I don't know. You just seem…" He wiggled his shoulders, searching for the right word, "tense."

She nodded and tapped her fingers on the counter. "I guess I sort of am." She breathed, staring at her fingers' nervous twitching.

"Well, I know we're not exactly close, but we've talked about stuff before, and I'm here hiding from House for the next little while, so if you want to talk, I'll be on the sofa." He rambled, ending his run-on sentence, with a gentle pat to Cameron's arm. He turned and headed to the couch, flopping down onto it and turning on the TV.

"I did something horrible." Cameron blurted, hearing the TV click back off at the admission and seeing Wilson's head appear above the back of the couch.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at her, motioning her over to the plush furniture.

Cameron obliged, walking toward the couch and perching nervously on the edge. "I—I did what I thought I would never do, with someone I never thought I would do it with, and I didn't stop. I saw myself doing it, and knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't help myself." She rested her face in her hands, rubbing her tired eyes with her fingers.

Wilson nodded, eyes heavy with concern. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but what did you do?"

"I cheated." Cameron laughed, mind flickering back to the conversation she'd had with Wilson her first year on House's team. "I cheated on Robert. Not because I was unhappy or because he was emotionally distant or anything. Just… because it felt good." She removed her hands from her face to look at James. "Does that make me a horrible person?"

"Yes." He responded, scooting closer to put an arm around her shoulders. "But people are horrible."

"You've been spending too much time with House." Cameron deadpanned, stiffening under his embrace slightly.

"No, he's not entirely wrong. It's human nature to fuck up. That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't try not to fuck up as much as we can." He stroked her arm gently with his fingers, sighing as he felt her body start to shake. "Who was it? Anybody I know?"

"It doesn't matter." She whimpered, shaking her head against Wilson's ridiculous lavender shirt. "That's fucked up, too. I was stupid enough to think she'd change for me and now I ruined everything good I had going for myself." She sniffled, burying her face as deeply into his chest as she could, trying to block out the world.

"She?" Wilson raised his eyebrows for the benefit only of himself.

"Oh, God. I shouldn't have—I'm sorry." Cameron pulled away abruptly, standing and smoothing out her scrubs.

"No, no. It's okay, I was just surprised." Wilson stood as well, attempting to reach out to recreate the intimacy they'd shared a moment ago.

"No, I need to go clean up and get back to the floor." She headed to the door, stopping with a hand on the knob. "Oh, and James?" He glanced up at her from his spot on the couch, remote in hand. "Thank you for listening."

He returned her warm smile. "Anytime, Allison."


	22. Hunger Hurts

Hey, y'all. This is a little short, but I felt like I needed to put something out there for you! Hopefully will find the motivation to write more, faster in the next little while! In the meantime, here's an angsty little plot development to chew on for a while. Speculate and/or entertain me with your lovely comments!

* * *

Foreman knew that Thirteen slept around. He had the wherewithal to recognize that it was one of the reasons he was attracted to her in the first place. He didn't like that she was easy, necessarily, didn't think he could get into her pants without effort nor did he think of her as a conquest. He liked her because she was broken, and he was the kind of man that liked to hold people together. He was also well aware of the fact that him holding her so tightly was what she hated about him. She couldn't unravel in his arms, couldn't succumb to the violence and hatred that raged inside of her, destroying everything and leaving her raw and tired and scared. And he couldn't sheath the razors, couldn't stop them from tearing her apart from the inside out, all he could do was keep her on her feet for another second, minute, day . Keep up the appearance of normalcy, never let 'em see you cry.

Cameron was another story. She welcomed others' meltdowns, took them into herself to cushion the blow, accepting the torment and pain as her own in order to heal them. She did it without question or thought, it was who she was. It was why she was perfect for Thirteen. He felt his fingers clench tightly into fists, but quickly inhaled to the anger concentrated in his chest and breathed it out slowly, just as his parole officer had taught him so many years ago. His finger twitched with recognition of his past life, but he brushed it aside. His anger wasn't important anymore anyway.

"It didn't mean anything." Thirteen's whisper was harsh, yet if Eric hadn't been sitting so close it would've disappeared into the constant hum of conversation around them. "Please, Allison. You have to believe me."

He stole a glance at them from the corner of his eye, feeling the familiar tightness in his chest return when he saw Remy's hand grasp desperately at Cameron's.

"Remy." Allison's response was almost a forlorn moan, half sob and half exasperated sigh. "I can't." Her speech was stilted, and Foreman had worked with the woman long enough to know it meant she was on the brink of crying.

"I thought you were through with me, I thought I fucked it up and it was over." The words hung in the air uncomfortably, and Cameron looked away as quickly as she could manage, but not quickly enough to hide the tear that spilled out from over her welling eyelid.

"Remy," she repeated the name, as though it could explain everything, or make it all disappear. "You can't say anything to fix this." She pulled her hand back and stabbed at some of the salad in front of her. "Because when you talk, all I can think about is you fucking some girl-"

"Allison…" Thirteen started, but Cameron cut her off, speaking slightly louder to be heard over Thirteen's crumbling voice.

"All I can think about is you naked, fucking some other girl the way you fucked me," Cameron looked nauseous, and she swallowed, her uncomfortable sneer exaggerating as she averted her eyes to the fork now gripped tightly in her fist. "…With my house key dangling from your neck." She shoved the plastic salad container away from her and stood, turning to head back into the hospital to finish her shift.

"Wait!" Thirteen wasn't bothering to lower her voice anymore as she lunged forward so forcefully, Eric had to suppress his urge to jump out of the way. She grasped tightly to Cameron's arm, tugging on the pink fabric of her scrubs. "Please, don't go. I-" She paused, seemingly noticing her surroundings for the first time. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Foreman stole yet another glance, just in time to watch Allison caress Thirteen's face, her eyes flickering quickly across it as though she was scanning the image. "But I think maybe I need to be alone for a while because loving you has changed me and I don't know if I like who I've become." Her hand dropped, and she disappeared into the gaping jaws of the sliding hospital doors.

Thirteen wiped the tears from her eyes and took a few shaky breaths before pulling herself back together. No help from Foreman necessary.

It would be a stretch to say that what he'd just witnessed made Foreman sad, though it certainly didn't please him. His torch for Thirteen was burning bright and high still, even though their breakup had happened a long time ago. He was convinced he was good for her; she needed stability even if she found it boring. And he didn't need to be reminded again of how boring he was.

"Hey, Thirteen. How's your day been?" A familiar drawl interjected into the tense silence, and soon a body was dropping heavily into the chair across from him. "What's her problem? I asked her how she's doing and she scowled at me like I shot her puppy."

Foreman shrugged, keeping his eyes fixed on the paperwork. "Don't know, don't care." Chase was a gossip, something that alternately annoyed and amused Eric. To him, If it didn't flaunt his achievements or fix a problem, it wasn't worth wasting breath.

"Bullshit. You haven't gotten anywhere on the paperwork I saw you working on right before you came to the cafeteria." Chase shot back, shutting the manila folder with a snap.

Eric sighed, slowly drawing himself up in the uncomfortable metal chair. Again, he took a deep breath, visualizing taking his frustration out onto the wind as he forced it from his lungs. "It was nothing; she had a fight with Cameron."

"Oh." Chase's nostrils flared as he picked at the table in front of him. "So you know about them, then?"

"Now I do." Foreman's tone was even and calm, as always. He bit the inside of his lower lip, feeling melancholy echo through his torso. "I'm sorry, Chase."

Robert looked up at Foreman, and for a second his blue eyes seemed to shine in the fluorescent light. "It's fine, they were cheating on both of us, after all." By the end of the sentence, it seemed as though he was staring straight through Eric's head to something neither man could quite place.

"What?" Eric's stomach tightened into knots, making him feel like his entire body was being bent in half.

"It started long before the two of you broke up, Foreman…" His eyebrows furrowed and he leaned forward. "She never told you?"

"It doesn't matter." Foreman snapped the folder shut and stood, taking his parole officer's other advice: just walk away.


	23. Tomorrow We'll Be Free

**All right. I'm gonna go ahead and say this chapter was worth the wait. I think it turned out great. You're free to disagree with me, and you know I love hearing your wonderful opinions. This one's pretty long, and I was thinking of breaking it up into two chapters, but you've been waiting so patiently and you're so gorgeous that I decided to just give it all to you in one big lump. Oh, and if you're not already, you should read my other story Sanctuary, cause this one's almost over, I think (shameless self-promotion!)**

* * *

"What did you do to Cameron?" The accusation was punctuated with a rattling thud against the table in front of Thirteen and she leaned back suddenly, away from the violence of the noise.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her forehead crinkled as she pushed the cane off of her paperwork. "I didn't do anything." She picked up the pen she'd dropped in surprise off the floor and leaned forward to continue writing.

"I'm talking about how I saw her leaving the cafeteria crying." House growled back, dropping into the chair around the table's corner from Thirteen and swinging his legs up to rest on the tabletop.

"What makes you think I know anything about that?" Thirteen didn't look up from her work, and made a point to look completely engrossed in what she was reading.

House leaned forward over his legs, and narrowed his eyes, waiting patiently for Thirteen to acknowledge the attention. When she finally looked up he answered, "because I know." He leaned back, hooking his arms over his cane, which he rested across the back of his neck. "So, how did you fuck it up?"

His nonchalance betrayed his emotion, and Thirteen sighed, leaned back and let her hand drop with a fragile, papery whap. "Why do you care, House? Maybe I did make her cry. So what?"

House twirled his cane in his fingers, watching it spin intently for a minute before stopping it abruptly, and poking her gently in the arm with it. "She's the senior attending in the ER, Thirteen. The last line of defense against the incompetency of nurses and PAs. If she's crying, countless people could die." He grinned, and pulled his feet down from the table, leaning on his cane which he rested in between his legs. "Look, you can tell me or I can find out from the nurse whose shoulder Cameron's been wetting with all those extra virgin martyr tears."

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Thirteen's nostrils and jawline twitched simultaneously. "This isn't General Hospital, okay? This is my life." She stood, gathering her files together haphazardly into a pile. She could feel herself trembling, which just amplified her fear and frustration, and boiled it over into anger. "You can't just show up out of nowhere, ask a personal question and expect answers. That's not how this works."

House's eyes were narrowed as she talked, carefully observing her face, occasionally sweeping downward to her fingers as they clumsily grasped at papers, waiting quietly until her hurried speech and movements were done before interjecting. "Or maybe Cameron made you cry." When Thirteen didn't respond, House pressed on. "Do you love her?"

Thirteen shook her head, running a hand through her thick hair. "Do you? Is that why you care so much? There's no puzzle here, no enigma. You've got me and Cameron figured out, right?" She shrugged her shoulders up in tense exasperation. "You never bothered her and Chase this much when they were together, aside from stupid comments. So why me? Why are you suddenly interested in what I'm doing?" House opened his mouth to speak, but Thirteen cut him off again. "And don't give me some bullshit about how it's hot. You could've had Cameron; if it was about that, you would've at least tried."

House lifted his chin so that he could tap his cane forcefully against the ground, face gruff and grumpy as always. The playful twinkle had left his eye, leaving the harsh glare that implied he was being serious. "The two of you are interesting together—way more interesting than her and Chase." He glanced up and connected with Thirteen's incredulous eyes. "I mean, come on. The two pretty young white people on the team get together, get married, have perfect little babies and live happily ever after—Boring." He pointed at her. "But then you came along. You turned her world upside down. And the two of you did it without any interference from anyone else. She wanted it, even though she told herself she didn't, even though she was terrified of wanting it." He shrugged, leaning back again, settling his cane across his lap and resting his wrists and hands on the arms of the chair.

"What happened to you to make you so fucked up that you always want the worst for people?" Thirteen laughed bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing up and to the right, blinking into the fluorescent lights.

"My mommy didn't love me enough." House spat back sarcastically, adding "but at least I had a mommy so I'm still miles ahead of you."

"Yeah." Thirteen scoffed, turning and pulling open the door. "You're probably right."

"Where do you think you're going?" House shouted before she was able to step over the threshold.

"Home." Thirteen didn't even turn around to acknowledge his question, yet paused patiently in the doorway.

"Last I checked, you were still a doctor working in the diagnostics department. Which means, you're going to stay here and run labs for our new case."

Thirteen tensed, breathed out and turned, frown creasing into her face. "Since when do we have a case?"

"Since about five minutes ago." Foreman pushed past her into the office, dropping a stack of files onto the table, soon followed by Taub. Thirteen blinked a couple times, reorienting herself to her job, before taking a seat next to him.

* * *

Running labs had to be the world's most dull activity, especially when they were negative. Of course, that was why she was here. The doctors in the diagnostic department were some of the few that actually worked in the labs themselves, usually due to the obscurity, time sensitivity, and timing of their testing. Also because the head of the diagnostic department loved to remind them that, even though they may be some of the brightest minds in the nation, they still had to do whatever dirty work he wanted them to. And it couldn't all be exciting like breaking into houses; no, some of it had to be mind-numbingly boring. And so, here Thirteen was at two in the morning, staring at a culture of some middle-aged man's blood and wishing she were anywhere but where she was.

Taub, sitting next to her, let out a long sigh. "Well, it's not anemia."

She pushed the microscope away from her. "Or malaria."

"How many more tests do we have to run?" He rubbed at one of his eyes roughly, wiping an eyelash unintentionally onto his cheek.

Thirteen looked at the lab order and shook her head. "You really don't want to know."

"It's times like these I miss being a plastic surgeon." He dropped his hand onto his knee. "Before this job, I hadn't run a lab myself since med school."

Thirteen nodded in silent agreement, standing to go grab another sample when the door opened and House came limping in, grabbed her by the crook of her elbow, and began dragging her toward the door.

"House, what the hell?" She snapped, though she let herself be pulled outside the room before tugging herself free.

House turned with an exaggerated sigh and raised his eyebrows. "Are you not coming?"

"That depends on where we're going." Thirteen fired back, her irritation mounting by the second.

"Well, I got a call from this hot blonde who was really drunk and wanted me to come pick her up and I know drunk, helpless, and needy is how you like 'em." House motioned down the hallway to the elevators. "Now, are you coming or not?"

"Cameron?" Thirteen stammered out the word, despite feeling as though the breath had suddenly dissipated and left emptiness in her chest.

"No, Chase." House rolled his eyes.

"She doesn't want to see me." She shook her head. "Go get her yourself."

"I can't." House seethed the words through his teeth, pointing down at his leg. "Drunk girl plus buzzed gimp plus motorcycle equals we both end up back here in little black bags." He raised his eyebrows, waiting for the thought to settle in. "And she wouldn't want anyone else to see her the way she is. Trust me." He motioned down the hallway yet again, a little gentler this time. "Are you coming?"

Thirteen just nodded, falling into step beside House's awkward, lopsided gait. They travelled separately, Thirteen arriving at the bar House told her to before he did. The post-bar crowd spilled out onto the streets trying to figure out who they were going home with and how. People milled around, creating a low din punctuated by the occasional yell or scream of a drunk college kid. Thirteen pushed through the people until she found Cameron sitting against the wall, cigarette hanging from her lips as she talked to a blond boy who looked to be in his early twenties.

"Hey!" Cameron tried to jump to her feet but stumbled back against the wall again. The cigarette fell from her lips soundlessly to the concrete where she'd just been sitting. The boy grabbed her arm and helped her straighten up, though by the looks of it he was just as wobbly as she was.

"Jesus, Allison." Remy breathed, hopping awkwardly forward to catch her as she tilted slowly to the side. "How much did you drink?"

"Remy?" The word blew into Thirteen's face on a wave of stale alcohol stench and she turned her head slightly, scrunching her nostrils shut.

"Yeah, it's me."

Allison squinted her eyes, her head still bobbing. "I thought I called House."

"You did, but he can't drive you home so I'm going to." Thirteen started to guide Cameron toward her car, only to feel her tug away and fall back against the wall.

"No. I don't wanna go with you. You're the reason I'm…" She glanced around at her surroundings, then suddenly shut her eyes firmly, shaking her head; her hair mussed up where it was being ground into the wall.

"Look, Allison." Remy grabbed her face, tugging it forward so that Cameron was looking at her. "I'm just going to take you home, make sure you're safe in bed, then go back to work, okay? We don't have to spend any time together, and tomorrow we can go back to not talking."

"Is that really what you think I want?" Cameron whispered softly, her slurring words blending even more in the white noise of the crowd. She turned her head away, her whole face scrunching as though she were deep in thought.

"Isn't it?"

"No." She turned her head back so that they were staring into one another's eyes again.

Thirteen swallowed the threat of tears back down into her stomach. "Then what do you want?"

"Nothing." Cameron exhaled and glanced up at the night sky, grey and starless from the city lights. "Everything."

"All right, lovebirds, break it up." House limped onto the scene, jerking his thumb toward the curb. "I've got a friend waiting at my apartment and she charges by the hour."

Thirteen and House flanked Cameron, steadying her gently when she swayed back and forth between them as she walked. The ride to Cameron's was silent, save for the steady hum of the car and House's motorcycle behind them. The radio was also murmuring in the background, narrating their trip so softly it was nearly unintelligible; streetlights crashed over their faces like waves, surprising and gentle at the same time. Thirteen glanced over at Cameron, catching her reflection in the passenger side window where her forehead was leaned clumsily against the glass. Her eyes were shut and brows knit as though she were having a bad dream. Thirteen tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, trying to occupy herself with anything other than thoughts of the past few days—who was she kidding? The past few years. Glancing over at Cameron again, she couldn't help the emotion that filled her, like lead settling and hardening throughout her body. She swallowed as though it would remoisten her body and make her blood flow again, but the pain and numbness had settled. She pulled up to the curb, saw the lights from House's bike flick off behind her, leaving darkness save for a streetlight above them. All the houses on this row were dark, and most of the apartments were too, except one or two whose televisions let out a flickering blue light like a backlit aquarium.

She stepped out of the car, shared a glance with House, and leaned back in to shake Cameron's shoulder gently. "Allison. Hey. You gotta get up. We're here."

Cameron stirred, wiping at her eyes and stretching. "K. M'up."

Thirteen jogged around to the other side of the car to open the door and help her up to stand on the sidewalk. House once again joined her on the other side of Allison and they helped her into her condo. House paused in the kitchen to fill a few glasses of water, and Thirteen helped her the rest of the way to the bedroom. At that point, it seemed less like helping and more like carrying, though, with Cameron leaning almost all of her weight against Thirteen's shoulder.

"All right, here we are. Let's get you into something comfortable, okay?" Thirteen pulled out some comfortable looking underwear and a tank top and put it out on the bed. "Is this okay?"

Cameron nodded awkwardly, her movements completely unassured. "You trying to get me naked, Remy?" She laughed, tugging on her shirt, which got caught on her chin.

"No." Thirteen maneuvered the shirt through the tangle of Cameron's limbs and threw it off to the side. "I'm trying to get you changed before House walks in."

"Oh." The smile dropped off Allison's face, and she simply watched as Thirteen helped her change the rest of the way, moving only when prompted to lift her arms or her hips. It wasn't like her to let someone else do those kinds of things for her, but right now she was lost deep in her thoughts to the point where she was barely noticing Thirteen's presence anymore. "You're it, y'know that?"

"What?" Thirteen, who'd just peeled the sheets apart to make room for Allison's body, paused.

"I said you're it." Her slur had gotten worse in her sleepiness. "You're it. That's it."

"Allison, I-" Remy paused, shaking her head and sitting next to her on the bed. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means…" Cameron leaned her head against Remy's shoulder, pulled Remy's arm around her own body so that she was cuddled into her side. "It means I want you to stay here with me tonight."

"I don't understand. This morning—"

"Oh god damnit, Rem." Cameron pulled away and flopped onto the bed, maneuvering her legs around Thirteen's body and under the covers. "This morning was—I was so—" she huffed, covering her face with her hands. "I'm so scared."

Thirteen swallowed, taking deep breaths to steady the echoing beat of her heart in her chest, and turning and scooting so that she was closer to Cameron's face. "scared of what?"

Cameron responded, her words too muffled by her arms and the drunken lazy slur for it to be coherent. Thirteen grabbed her wrists and moved them, perhaps a little too roughly in her urgency. "What are you scared of, Cameron?"

"I don't want to use you. I wish it were easy, but it's not." Her hands came up instead to rest on Thirteen's cheeks. "You're so beautiful and I'm so fucked up." Tear paths suddenly appeared on her cheeks as they rolled down the sides of her face toward her ears. "You deserve so much more, because I'm so scared and so crazy and I just can't do it. I want to so bad but I can't."

Remy wiped the tears away, frowning in fear and concern. "You can't do what?"

"Love you the way you need. Be there for you until the end. I just can't. I want to, but I'm too selfish, I'm too scared, and I can't."

"Oh." Thirteen leaned back, letting the words wash over her, glancing up to see House standing in the doorway, balancing three glasses of water in one hand. "Okay." She leaned over, placed a gentle kiss onto Cameron's forehead. "Drink some water and go to sleep. I have to get back to work." She stood and moved to leave, being blocked by House's cane in the doorway.

"Taub can run the rest of the tests." His words sounded like a growl in his gravelly baritone, but Thirteen could still tell they were meant to be gentle. She nodded, then pushed past him and out into the nighttime air. The pressure of tears built up inside of her again and she forced them down, forced her heart shut so that the sharp pain would surrender into a dull, prolonged ache. She Y-turned in the street and headed for the hospital.


	24. The Cage is Full

Not as long or as well-written of an update as I would've liked, but sometimes you gotta sacrifice (a small amount of) quality for (a large amount of) time. I'm working on my perfectionism, can you tell? Anyway, I promised an update this week, so you get an update, but I got caught up watching Orange is the New Black (IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, WATCH IT NOW) so I didn't spend my usual many hours on it. Hope you enjoy anyway!

"Cameron." Thirteen sucked in a deep breath through her teeth before entering the room the rest of the way, letting the door fall silently shut behind her. She took a seat at the table across from Allison, dropping her pager and file in front of her. "I thought you were off today."

"I was—I am." Allison corrected herself, leaning forward onto her elbows. "I just came by to thank House for—" She paused, rolling her eyes at some specter neither of them could see, "—helping me last night."

"How nice." Thirteen faked a smile, then turned her eyes down to her hands, smudging designs into the glass tabletop with her thumb. The cleaning crew must hate the diagnostics room and House's office more than anything.

"Well, yeah. Except, he told me you did most of the work, and that I should be thanking you."

"How shockingly humble of him." Thirteen was still avoiding eye contact with Cameron, her eyes now focused on the wall behind her head.

"He also said I should apologize to you." Cameron blurted, exhaling long and slow. "But the problem is, I don't remember what I did, so…." She trailed off, then picked up as though the thought had returned to her. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, or whatever I said. I know we haven't been getting along, and I know I said I needed space—and I do—but that doesn't mean I don't care about you." She leaned across the table to grab Thirteen's hand. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"Okay. Consider it forgotten." Thirteen stood, but Cameron held tightly to her hand.

"Thirteen." She looked away, nostrils flaring briefly. "Remy." This caught her attention, and she looked over at Cameron. "What did I say to you?"

"Nothing. It's not important."

Cameron moved around the table to stand next to Thirteen, pressing a hand to her cheek. "Don't lie to me. I can tell when you're lying to me."

"You told me you were scared." Thirteen looked up to meet Cameron's eyes. "You told me you were too scared to be with me to the end, and that you couldn't do it again."

Cameron's jaw set, and she leaned back, shoving her hands in her pockets. "Fuck."

"It's okay, Allison. Really." She shook her head and laughed. "I wouldn't want to see you in pain like that, anyway. It's better this way." She squeezed Cameron's shoulder, smiling though it couldn't hide the bitter disappointment that sat, tensed, in every muscle on her face. "I'll see you around."

* * *

"You and Cameron are awful chummy these days." Foreman came in, taking a seat next to Thirteen in the lab.

Thirteen let out a breath, not bothering to turn and look at him before answering. "What makes you think that?"

"You told her you loved her in the cafeteria." Thirteen's head turned quickly to look him in the eye, studying his face carefully.

"You were listening in on our conversation? That's low, even for you." She turned back to what she was doing, lip pulled up in an involuntary sneer.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He snapped, snatching the slide from under the microscope and placing it off to the side.

"You're a smart guy, Eric. Figure it out!" She stood, body boiling in her anger and eyes flashing warning signals at the man.

He matched her posture, using his few inches of height to try to tower over her. "What did I ever do to deserve being cheated on? Huh? Did I step out on you? Did I lay a hand on you? Did I ever demean you? Tell you you were ugly, or stupid, or worthless?" He clenched his jaw and shook his head. "No. I treated you so well. I looked out for you, I cared about you. And you tossed me to the side like I was nothing. You ran around behind my back with my colleague and never bothered to tell me about it, like our relationship was nothing. Did it really mean so little to you?"

"Yes." Thirteen whispered, shoving her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. "You want the truth? Our relationship meant nothing. I never wanted to be with you forever. You were a good friend, you were fun to fuck around with, and that was it."

"Fuck you." He spat, pushing closer to her so they were nose to nose. "You and Cameron are fucking perfect for each other. You're both filthy fucking cheaters." He stood so suddenly Thirteen leaned back, afraid he was going to swing at her.

"Don't forget cowards." She shouted, stopping him when he was halfway to the door. "Yeah, I said it. Cowards because she's too afraid to love me while I'm dying, and I'm too afraid to fight for her to stay." She took a step forward. "So, yeah. You're right. We're both disgusting, cowardly cheaters, and we deserve the pain of loving each other. Are you happy now?"

He swallowed, torn between the desire to comfort her and the desire to chew her out some more. He took a deep breath, then turned and walked out of the room.

She grasped onto the counter, pressing her eyes tightly together to try to hold herself in one piece. She sat, and laid her head against the cold metal counter, feeling calmed by the sapping of heat from her forehead. Just a few more hours here, then she could go home and sleep the last day off.

* * *

Cameron was just about to head home when a large manila folder slammed onto the desk in front of her. "Foreman!" She jumped, turning to the man who'd dropped it. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't look good; his eyes were bloodshot, and his usually perfectly pressed shirt was a wrinkled mess.

"This file, look at it."

Cameron slowly turned back to the file, flipping it open. The name on the file was blacked out, standard procedure when sharing confidential information. "What is it?"

"One of my patients in the drug trial."

"Jesus, I never would've—" She trailed off, flipping through the pages of statistics. "This person shows no signs of degeneration. How—"

"The drug is based off of studies of cephalopod limb regeneration. They have ways of growing neurons that humans don't." He sat down next to her, shrugging. "Not until now, at least."

"Are you fucking serious? Eric!" She hugged him, pulling him tight against him. "That's amazing! Congratulations!"

He laughed, the first crack he'd let through his tortured façade since they started talking. "Don't congratulate me, congratulate my patients." He looked down at his hands, twisting them together almost painfully. "Even those who were told they'd only have, say, ten good years left now might have twenty, thirty. That's only slightly shorter than average. More than enough time to have a family, and a full life."

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "Foreman. Whose file is this?"

"That's confidential information." He responded, his face set like stone.

"It's Remy's, isn't it?"

He just shrugged. "Don't know. Name's blacked out. Have a good rest of your day, Cameron."


End file.
